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Thread: AA? Shyness plagues me! help please!

  1. #1
    MusicProducer914 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default AA? Shyness plagues me! help please!

    I don't need to write like 8 pages. I'll keep this short. I always have aa. I don't know why I just do. I am shy and afraid to approach HB 8's and HB 9's. My confidence is so shot and depleted ,I don't even go out anymore. The worst part is, I know I am very good looking. Many girls have told me I am hot, sexy, smart/witty, and I am a very sharp dresser and very well groomed. Not only that, many girls who I have talked to tell me I am well spoken. I can carry on a conversation. But when I see an HB, I freeze, or hide or don't know what to do. I smile sometimes and make small talk, ask them how they are doing but that's it. I don't know what to say when I do meet one. I don't why I get nervous and anxious but I do. I don't know what to say. I know that seems like a contradiction saying I can carry a conversation and then saying I don't know what to say. I work with many cute girls, we chitchat, I know them. When I meet new girls I make with the small talk but then I don't know where to lead the conversation after. I am on here today because last night I hooked up with this ratchet/thick girl because I was so lonely and desperate and she even said the same stuff. She's like WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU MUST BE HIDING SOMETHING.... HOW ARE YOU SINGLE? YOU ARE CUTE SEXY SWEET AND SMART...... if a busted thick girl can tell me this.....fine...... but how do I show all these good qualities to women!

    AFC NEEDS HELP PLEASE FELLAS!!!!

  2. #2
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    Trickstar is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: AA? Shyness plagues me! help please!

    Go to the mall and force yourself to talk to random ones. I have this exact same problem when I don't do it for awhile. I just walk down the mall and tell myself I will go and spit game on only 8's and above (I really have an ego thing that will only let me go lower to 6's and 7's with random chicks at parties and such) but I tend to freeze up so I just force myself to at least say hi with a smile and wave (trust me, when you do that you still feel weird at first, I suggest trying to get eye contact first so it's more natural). I spent a whole day with a buddy doing that and then when I went off on my own to actually shop at A&F there was a 9.5 working that asked if I found the item I wanted and then I had a streak of confidence to ask: which do you think I look better in? This led to a playful pick of my outfit and some giggling, but I was too afraid to Number Close because I'm worried about coming across weird. A couple of those in one day might spark the confidence to actually close the last one, but honestly, I'd probably do something more direct like what are you doing after work and ask them on a date, not using those words of course, because then the text game shit gets me all anxious so I'd rather be quick and get things going. So try what I said, it should help.

  3. #3
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    JackSarge is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: AA? Shyness plagues me! help please!

    I however don't have this problem. I love the approach as long as it is the right setting. Many girls in the Night Game scene love being approached, that's why they go out. You can read my FR's this Summer for help but I already got my hotel booked for St. Paddy's so likely an FR for that.

    Girls are easy to talk to but hard to game. I never come off as a nice non-threatening guy they constantly tell me they have a BF which makes me think I am some kind of threat since I see them talking to other guys differently. In the end I am good at what I do and on a good night owning the Club with the hottest broads.
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack

  4. #4
    Grey2fox is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: AA? Shyness plagues me! help please!

    Learn to keep conversations within your social circle like people from work etc. I'm practising that at work. I know most people frown upon gaming at work but you are simply learning to keep a conversation with a bit of flirting thrown in. When you start Kino escalating, that's when you start swimming in dangerous waters.

    After 4 months of doing that I went to a bar with friends and met a college friend who I haven't seen 3-4 years. I was a total AFC and gave away virgin vibes and thats how she remembers me as far as I'm concerned. I walked up to her and straight kino escalated.

    She had a group with her (6 guys and 1 other girl), smiled at them all then pulled her out and isolated. Initiated with 3 hugs and started with my dhv all the while touching her hand whenever I got the chance.

    I could tell she was overwhelmed. She sat down while I stood up and her shoulders started to cave in. And the more I read her Body Language, the more confident and cocky I got. Hard to rewrite an image of yourself with someone who knows you in a different light for several years.

    -Learn the ropes within your social circle.
    -Learn basic body language skills to try and read her mood.

  5. #5
    twla is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: AA? Shyness plagues me! help please!

    I'm trying to work on my confidence too. One thing I find that works for me to some extent is humor. If I'm getting her to laugh or giggle at the things as say, it gives me great confidence. I feed off that. Of course the hardest part is the approach.

  6. #6
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: AA? Shyness plagues me! help please!

    aa comes from one place, you. that's right, its all internal. the only thing that affects it is how you talk to yourself when you think about approaching.

    instead of thinking "wow, she's out of my league"

    you need to think like " ooh, she looks like she could be fun to talk to, lets find out"

    you have to cut any negative thoughts. focus on just being friendly.

    don't worry about what she thinks, let her do that. ultimately it really doesn't matter, worst case you'll never see her again. best case, she could be your future wife.

    you'll never know until you talk to her.

    you'll never be able to fark any hot girls if you aren't willing take a chance and say hi to them.

  7. #7
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    Kyl3 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: AA? Shyness plagues me! help please!

    Easiest way to beat aa ever. Seriously. I've been preaching this forever.

    Walk up to 5 girls you don't really care about and ask them what time it is.

    "Hey my phone died, could you tell me what time it is?"
    She'll give you the time, and if she's interested, she'll do it enthusiastically.
    If you feel confident, make some small talk, and see where it goes. Just remember, you don't even care about this girl nor are you really trying to game her.

    After doing this 5 times in succession, you won't feel AA anymore, and you'll feel a hell of a lot more confident.

    Then you go talk to that cute girl you just noticed walking down the bread aisle while you're still feeling confident and game her. Heheh.

  8. #8
    MusicProducer914 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: AA? Shyness plagues me! help please!

    update-- doing much better guys... lol. everyone has hot and cold days. i was just on a bad streak, anyways things are turning around for the better now. will keep ya posted! good luck!

  9. #9
    Bobolov is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: AA? Shyness plagues me! help please!

    If I learnt anything from my time in the military is that fear is a choice. look across, count to 2 and start walking. Don't be an old man that wishes he'd had balls - be a young man with empty balls.


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