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Thread: Problem with a girl from another school, always on my mind

  1. #1
    PMLTH is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Problem with a girl from another school, always on my mind

    Ok, Hello first Im new to this forum and it looks great. Anyway jumping to the story, its very very bizarre take out of the popcorn. (I hope I am allowed to post this)

    This girl goes to a different school/college. We have had weird encounters. First of all all the guys want her. She is a 9.5/10,
    1st time was Months ago, in halls while walking by she stared at me and I knew from her eyes (It meant something more) and ever since I was thinking about her. Saw on popping on FB.

    2nd time was 2 days ago I was at the cafeteria hanging out with peeps. Saw her once, don't know if she saw me but she came back with people an hour later. when she walked by our table She Was SO NERVOUS even my friend felt some energy from her without looking. Sat few tables behind, Then after, when more people came, she got up and remained standing. She was always in my vision. Then at One point, I was on my phone, I could see her getting away from her crowd with her bestie, both staring at me (whispering). She did it with two of her friends.

    Weirdest part IS yesterday I saw her at the subway station in a different location, it was VERY weird, bizarre, coincidental almost had a heart attack. She saw me and we had a 2-3 sec eye contact. Now all my friends are freaking out telling me its meant to be and its very unbelievable and I agree with that,


    Now I was suppose to go with a friend, but now he is not in the mood so I am stuck as I have nothing else to do (one week break). I want to stop thinking about her, Its pretty sad it has to end that way.

  2. #2
    lilsting's Avatar
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    Default Re: Problem with a girl from another school, always on my mind

    The solution is very simple. Grow some balls and approach her. 3 opportunities all passed by because you didn't have enough courage.

  3. #3
    Ra1d is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Problem with a girl from another school, always on my mind

    As the guy above me,I don't understand what's the point of the story ?You get ioi's from a super hot girl yet you never approach her ?

    There is no such thing as "meant to be" if you don't even have the courage to approach a girl,but there is such thing as seeing her with another man and regretting that you didn't.

  4. #4
    PMLTH is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Problem with a girl from another school, always on my mind

    My original point was to ask how to forget instantly about a girl.

    Its hard, when you are caught off guard ts very hard to make any move or just a hello. Those 3 times I was surprised, I just cant interrupt whatever she is talking about to her friends for a hey, anyway just wanted opinions.
    thanks for replying

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Problem with a girl from another school, always on my mind

    Dude just interrupt her! She was giving you the green light to talk to her. You talking to her is MORE important than whatever she is doing. Be a little selfish. No one is going to look out for you except you.

    The best way to forget about her is to start talking to other women. You haven't even messed around with her or talked to her. She should be VERY easy to forget. Don't spend ANY mental energy on a girl you don't know.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Problem with a girl from another school, always on my mind

    Listen, she wasnt on my mind before at all, probably once in a while, nothing too much. Ever since a week, Idk its getting weird. I am not doing anything at home which doesnt help, even if I watch a movie. Thats why I have this problem. Because I am on holidays.

    Its more because of my boredom and the craziness of the story that I am in this position, but I know it will go away if I do something.

  7. #7
    twentynine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Problem with a girl from another school, always on my mind

    You have a little something that us guys around here like to Oneitis. Basically, I don't really like your chances here. I'm not gonna shit all over you for getting yourself into this situation though.. Instead I wanna try to make you understand why you're feeling the way you are, and why I think you should move on - at least for now. Most importantly though, the best part is it doesn't matter and you are going to be fine.

    My guess is you are very young; 16?.. We've all been in that situation. I had very bad oneitis for 2 different girls in Elementary school, and probably 3 or 4 in High School. Always thinking about them, always wanted to talk to them, but was always nervous about it. The problem with "Oneitis" is that it occurs after your brain has decided that an object (the girl in this case) is of extreme value, and that it is extremely important that you obtain it and bring it into your life. Once you're in that frame of mind about something you don't feel you can have, you become stifled any time you are within range of it, especially when it is another human being. This is because of the way we are socially programmed.

    Unfortunately in your case, her perceived value is now waaaay above your own. I believe that even if you did approach her at this point, it would not go very well in your favour given that you get nervous and weird just seeing her in public. The only way to fix this is to "bring yourself up" to the level you currently hold her at in your mind.

    Realize that she is just another girl, beautiful on the outside or not, and that she is not better than you. You'll need to build confidence in yourself and feel confident that you are worthy of her. Until this is the case, approaching her is ultimately futile. She probably already senses that you have a crush on her but are too afraid to say hello, I'm sure you aren't the only one.

    My best advice would be to forget about her for awhile. This doesn't mean you can't ever think of her, but I would try not to. Focus more on yourself and more on becoming comfortable approaching and talking to girls in general. Get some phone numbers from girls that don't freak you out as much. This will hugely increase your confidence level.

    I don't think approaching her right now would end up in your favour. Instead, focus on making your friends laugh when she is around, talk to other girls, heck even chat up one of her friends. This is called "social proof" and she will notice it and find it attractive.

    It's perfectly normal to be infatuated with her. But, if you really want to actually have a shot, I would consider the above rather than diving in and trying to win her over given your current Mindset. The best part is, even if nothing happens with this one, there will be so many others that you won't even remember her. Don't sweat it.

    Good luck, kiddo.

  8. #8
    PMLTH is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Problem with a girl from another school, always on my mind

    Yeah basically you got it except for this part The problem with "Oneitis" is that it occurs after your brain has decided that an object (the girl in this case) is of extreme value, and that it is extremely important that you obtain it and bring it into your life, I already stopped thinking about her, its more because she showed me interest and apparently she is a VERY VERY PICKY girl. She has guys chasing her 24/7 yet, she doesnt date any of them and there are decent guys in her school, thats why I am amazed because its really the first sight. I am not obsessed with her, feel lower next to her or anything just very curious.

    FYI, Im a guy known to fall for a girl after she showed interest if she is decent to my eyes ( I am pretty sure I am not alone in this). Ive never liked a girl or had a crush on one first maybe I did but nothing more than wow she is cute!?; does it have to do with confidence!? Maybe, but more rejection, Ive been that way since I was 14-15, I talk to a lot of girls that I see as friends, I have had many girlfriends, I am confident its simply the situation that is way too complicated and bizarre. I will throw the towel.... for now. But I really appreciated it, thank you for your time. I am 19 if that helps.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Problem with a girl from another school, always on my mind

    also my friend doesnt really want to help me by accompanying me but he is not forced to.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Problem with a girl from another school, always on my mind

    Twenynine, you deserve a pat on the back. Great post! Everyone has had oneitis. I had oneitis in middle school, highschool, and the worst was right after highschool when I messed around with one of the hottest girls that went to my school. Once you get over it and see other women you figure out "Wow she REALLY wasn't that special. What was I thinking?"

    The funny thing is, allot of the girls I had oneitis for in high school I wouldn't even consider dating now!

    You're right on the money. The way he is thinking now, approaching her would do no good.

    What I like to do when I feel like I'm starting to get oneitis is to think about all the other girls I've had oneitis for in the past. "I felt that way about so and so and guess what, I wouldn't even date her now"! If you think about it that way it prevents you from returning to the state you're in now.


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