Quick and dirty. I'm 47, been divorced now for a year, last court day Feb 13th 2013 from my wife of 26 years. We met in high school, married 2 years out of high school before college. She could not have children, and we never had any.
I dated maybe a grand total of 5 girls in my 15-18 year old time frame until her and I met. Was a good run. Damn good run.
So..Took the this past year away from the general public short of work, to reflect, rebuild, heal. Been absorbing as much information as I can on how to approach women in the "wild" here and several other venues.
I decided to get out and try it this past weekend. Went to a local quiet Martini bar. Nice place, no banging music, no kids or college types, just adults and dimly lit. I watched a very attractive woman walk in and by. She sat down at the bar 2 seats away, and I made sure there was no ring or signs of a soon to show up boyfriend. After about 5-8 minutes, I cathered up the stomach to lean over an introduce myself to her. She responded, introduced herself and that is where I went down in flames. Like a bucket of gasoline into a fire. I froze up. Had nothing to say, mouth went dry, Pulse and BP where through the roof.
I had no clue how to approach, what to say, what to talk about, nothing. I shut down and had nothing to say, total blank. I felt no confidence, no self worth, nothing ! Just sheer paralyzing terror! I wanted to run screaming! It was the most awkward and terrifying 10 minutes of my entire life. She started talking to the bartender after a few minutes of silence and I felt like just jumping under a large loaded bus.
After 26 years of marriage, there is no "game" left, not that I ever had much to begin with I suppose. But what now? Even the thought of trying again is giving me hives, dry mouth and making my left eye twitch! I wonder now not being a bigger "player" in my youth is now coming back to haunt me. I'm not looking for Sex, a One Night Stand or a play buddy.
Any advice I can get would be helpful as I'm not quite sure what to do next.