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  1. #1
    Newbee is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Help! How to approach?

    I just started in college and I think one girl is interested. I got usually good bodylanguage but im "out of things to say". When I sit somewhere girl sits somewhere close to me. When she sits nearby she has good bodylanguage for me. I think that she wants that she wants to be opened because she has some kind of proximity.

    I sat on sofa. I sat like own the whole sofa and nobody would sit there. If somebody sits on sofa she/he enters to my space. Then she sat on the sofa and he sat front of me. I felt myself giving too much value for her

    After when she sat front of me I felt myself dumb because: "I was facing to her like I was talking to her" So I turned to sit in normal way. Then shes bodylanguage was like "open me". But then bodylanguage became bad for me and she left. We've never talked.

    I wasn't nervous but was somehow surprised and confused. How should I approach the girl? Should I make rapport? Id like to know good tips according to bodylanguage, proximity and approaching. I dont have special approaching anxiety but I haven't usually things to say.

    I hope that you understand my Schwarzenegger english.

  2. #2
    Typhoon Guest

    Default Re: Help! How to approach?

    Noticing body language is good. But could you have been paying too much attention to it that you failed to actually notice the person? A simple, "You're in my class right? What do you think of Professor so and so" or "Hi, I'm Peter, you're Sandy right?" She could correct you anyway and that will start the ball rolling.

    Oh and are you concerned about your English? If it's not your first language, then it's pretty understandable that you're struggle... but you'll struggle more and the 'bad English' will be more noticeable if you act insecure or apologetic about it.

  3. #3
    Ambition Guest

    Default Re: Help! How to approach?

    If you've run out of things to say, I think you're thinking too hard about it. Take a look at some opinion openers and use them to start a conversation. They don't even need to be openers. Opinion questions, especially about silly things, will always continue the conversation and keep it fun.

    Next time you are out of things to say, ask her something random. "Hey, since we're talking, let me get your opinion on something (real quick). My friend's having her bachelorette party, and she isn't sure if she should get a male Stripper or a female stripper. Of course I said female, but what do you think is more fun for girls?" That type of question will definitely spur a conversation. I like that one, though, because it shows a hint of sexuality, shows that you have female friends (that's powerful when talking to women), and is random enough that you can take the conversation anywhere after. Whatever her answer is, neg her about it too.

  4. #4
    Typhoon Guest

    Default Re: Help! How to approach?

    Ambition... I'd seriously use that one, thanks. And I think bellydancers are more fun, haha.

  5. #5
    Newbee is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Help! How to approach?

    Hehe... I like the Stripper thing. Yeh I should have "noticed" her and start conversation... I was thinking too much I just have asked something, even stupid.

    I know that girls show proximity a quite often when im close. I think that Iam guy who is easy and safe to approach. Girls quite usually try to start conversation with me and my friends in clubs. Im talkative when I have good mood or have friend in conversation too.

    Do you know any exercises how to get talkative mood? Or exercises which helps with approaching anxiety?

  6. #6
    Ambition Guest

    Default Re: Help! How to approach?

    To get into a talkative mood, there's a few options. One that Style talked about in one of his phone conferences was to call someone you like to talk to before you go out or while you are driving to your destination. If you enjoy talking to them, it will be easy, and when you get off and the phone and are at your venue, you'll still be in that mood.

    However, I don't do that. I actually have a song that I love to sing at the top of my lungs when I'm driving. It's Caress Me Down by Sublime. I don't know why I love this song so much, but whenever I'm going out I will play this song two or three times, singing at the top of my lungs, and by the time I get wherever I'm going I am in a fantastic mood and my voice feels warmed up and ready to go.

    As for Approach Anxiety, it's a band aide dude. Accept that you're going to have it every single time you approach (it never goes away), suck it up and rip the band aide off. I'm the same way with rollercoasters. I know I'll be fine, I know I'm going to enjoy it, but the entire time I'm in line I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack. Accept it and do it anyways. I am still terrified to talk to women, but once you realize that that's just a part of the whole thing, it's a lot easier to ignore it.

  7. #7
    culturedpearls Guest

    Default Re: Help! How to approach?

    Well just make sure, dude, that they congregate around you not because they think you're gay, harmless or unexciting. They must always see you as a man, and you must pose a certain element of intrigue and danger, otherwise, you'd be in the friend zone all the time.

  8. #8
    BadMedicine Guest

    Default Re: Help! How to approach?

    This is a good attention-enlister for any chick in close proximatey, especially if either, she approached you, or have been sitting nearby with no verbal yet.

    First thing, go on alert. either sit strait up, or improve your posture and just generally perk up and be noticed.. this is the "hook", it helps to do an audible nose-inhale jsut as you do this, givin the ipression something aromatic has caught your attention, turn away from them first, this builds their interest and also lets them look at YOU.. sniff again, not facing them, now they're really interested, then look over your shoulder/ behind you in the same direction, still away from them.. no they're really believing you, because you've made no indication they're the focuse of your attention...
    now this is the part where it reads like a 3rd graders action novel:

    Depending on your "gauge" of the situation when you finally turn towards her, with another sniff, decide whether to go "neg" or "I need your help with something curious"

    Alternative ending #1: The first would be looking at her with a smile, and not too mean like, "did you fart? eewy, burritos? gawd thats rank .... I dunno, maybe it's the couch or soemthing under your cushion... whew.. I hope it clears out." Even as a Neg this is something you dont wanna push on her too hard, jsut the implication of her farting is enough to break the ice and chuckle a bit, but if you genuinly offend her it may be over.. you may have to throw some bystanders under the bus by implicating another girl nearby or the second closest person, and then backpedal with target a bit saying "I didnt THINK any part of you could smell like that..."

    Alternative ending #2: Or to enlist her help in 'your current delima' you "do you smell that? thats.. it's.. I dunno, what is that? "......she like "huh?"...you: "some sort of.. I dunno, i can't place it" ..naturally she don't smell anything but is now whiffing the air all around like a bloodhound on a hot scent, you can move closer to hear and 'sniff her out' and check the couch around her, maybe investigate her bag "are you hiding pakistani food in here.." .. generally a good way to break the ice, and gain her attention/ investment.

    This same scenario iworks good with noises, call them 'high pitch' or 'whining' if its in a quiet area or classroom, library, or a 'thumping, ticking, growling, whistling,' or anything you wanna fabricate anywhere louder/ bar /party...

    basically the trick is to be interesting.. and whats more interesting and harmless than a mystery with a stranger in a public place

    He's a much shorter skit I use all the time, even from a distance, because it makes them initially maybe not believe you, or think you have super scents, and then intrigue/ allows for Kino.

    Say, "You smell ("really" target <8) nice"
    "what? Im not wearing anything"
    Target<8 Grab a handful of hair smell it, and say "yeah it's you"
    Target>8 lean in and whiff.

    OR she'll volunteer it's perfume/ lotion/ etc, and probably offer you a better smell of her wrist, hands, hair or generally allow for a closer whiff, take the oppertunity to either hold her hands/ wrists/ hair when you do, or rub your wrists against hers like you're stealing her scent, or hands for the lotion, palm/ backs, and quick massage. One of my fav moves it to talk about how a chick smells, it tells them you're in-tune.. even if you're not. *SOMETIMES* i'ts ok to get *caught* sniffing them unbeknownst, their clothes (that they're wearing or jsut shed) their hair from behind or even their face from a few inches..lean in.. *SNIFF SNIFF*.... but you're reeeeeealy gonna have to feel this out you may be labeld a creep forever, or slapped.. so be ready to play it off or have mad mouf piece ready to spit.. just sayin.. lotsa variables, hard to elaborate them all here.

  9. #9
    royalflash Guest

    Default Re: Help! How to approach?

    I tried similar opener about the scent. I came into a group of girls and said ," oh, I smell something awful around here?!" They all sniff there clothes, their chests, and underarms. And I went to this hot chic, HB8 and sniff her hair. " Oh, it's your hair.. But it's not awful... it smells good"....

  10. #10
    Solomon Guest

    Default Re: Help! How to approach?

    If you either know something about scents/fragrances, or you can bullsh!t pretty fancily, you can also try something that goes like this:

    "Hmm, somebody's wearing something with vanilla."
    "I am"
    "Well you smell nice. But do you know that they say vanilla's playing safe and no fun. Are you no fun?"
    "I am fun!"
    "Really? Tell me what's the wildest you've done recently."


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