I had a strange night. Some of this is going to sound opposite to everything you learn from PUA because I used hard logic rather than toying with feelings and 'gaming' in the traditional sense but it worked perfectly in this unique situation.
7 hours condensed into point form!
- I spent 4 hours watching non-pickup videos on communication (this and this).
- I was chatting with a lesbian friend of mine on skype and used her to practice what I just learned.
- By the end of the night she was bouncing up and down with excitement over the idea of blowing me. I'm seeing her on Friday (we live fairly far apart)
- She's still a lesbian, this doesn't change anything in her mind. (lol what?)
- This was one of the longer pickups I've done, ~3 hours.
- While typing that last line she started sending me some dirty pics.
how I did it:
- Bring up how everyone knows I'm a total flirt and how it makes her uncomfortable.
- Apologize and ask her what needs of hers am I violating? A need to have her orientation respected? Something else?
- I mention "I want to know that so I can avoid offending you in the future".
- After much work on both our parts we came up with the answer. She needs people to take her seriously. She's not the cliche bi-curious girl who makes out with girls in clubs to turn on guys. She is gay, she only wants to date women and marry women. She needs everyone to know that and take it as seriously as she does.
- Game on.
- I fish for certain things that she *does* like about me. Answer: My confidence, swagger, dominance, and reputation as an exceptional lover.
- She talks about being conflicted about liking that if she isn't attracted to men.
- I talk about how those characteristics are not strictly masculine so it makes sense that she would be attracted to me, it doesn't make her less gay
- She admits that I'm right, she is attracted to me. (Amazing what comes out when the inhibitions have been disarmed through communication)
- We talk deeply about the things she's into and separate them from sexual orientation. Then we talk about how to explore them together.
- She now wants me as a FWB because I took the time to learn what gets her off. Not just "top or bottom" but a deep understanding of the how and why of her psychology relating to everything. She likes to please people she respects and likes to feel powerless. She wants to "feel (my) power"