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  • 4 Post By DirectIsBest
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Thread: Nice guy to a$$hole to charming gentlemen: The revolution

  1. #1
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
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    Default Nice guy to a$$hole to charming gentlemen: The revolution

    There's a progression many men make in their evolution with women. Allot of men realize at some point that being the "nice guy" isn't working for them. They immediately start being the opposite. They become the a$$hole.

    I've been through this progression. Honestly, when I became the a$$hole, I started getting allot of women. It worked! There was only one problem. I would get allot of women, but many of them weren't GF material and the ones that WERE didn't stay around long.

    I lived with my father and he met allot of these women and saw how I treated them. One day he goes "You know what Direct. Your an asshole to the women you date. You will get way farther if your like Elwood P. Dowd. Be like Elwood."

    Elwood is a movie character from an old movie called "Harvey" played by Jimmy Stewart. His best friend is a 6 foot tall rabbit that only he can see. Everyone thinks he's crazy and tries to institutionalize him. There's only one problem; he's so damn charming and pleasant that everyone loves the guy!

    I took that advice to heart (and honestly the only good advice my father ever gave me about life). I started to be like Elwood. Everything changed. Besides the fact that the women I dated REALLY liked me and felt special, I started making WAY more friends both male and female. Even when a relationship ended the woman respected me (one even tried to set me up with their friends)! I wasn't hated by my ex lovers anymore.

    I didn't revert back to the "nice guy". I still stood up for myself and my beliefs and I did what I wanted to do. That doesn't mean you should be an a$$hole either. Bring everyones value around you up and you will be amazed at the results you get. It makes you feel really damn good too! Here's a link to a short clip of Elwood's life moto. Be like Elwood P. Dowd.

    James Stewart - Harvey (2/2) - YouTube

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    hamcheese (12-19-2015)

  3. #2
    2champ2 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Nice guy to a$$hole to charming gentlemen: The revolution

    Despite knowing about the forums and game for about a year now, this is an area i dont think i have improved upon that much. I am still waaaaay too nice. Not just to women, just to people in general. How did you go about shifting towards the other side of the spectrum and then ultimately end up at the "charming gentleman" level? I get that it has to do with being more alpha, so is it just a matter of being unfiltered, more aggressive with hitting on women, and more assertive?

  4. #3
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    Default Re: Nice guy to a$$hole to charming gentlemen: The revolution

    Yes, yes, and yes. I had the same problem as you and said "f it" and became an a$$hole. Basically not caring about the girl at all, or her emotional well being in the relationship. I was using women only for sex and hurt ALLOT of women. I started to feel pretty bad about it and got this advice.

    Besides being like Elwood I would tell myself to be more like Dan. Dan is one of my best friends that everyone is drawn too. He is just a really f'ing cool, genuine, friendly guy (plus he gets ALLOT of attractive women).

    What my original post REALLY meant was not to TRY and be like someone else. The charming gentlemen is within EVERYBODY. The trap that I fell in, and so many others do, is that they "think" they need to be an asshole to get women. This is TOTALLY not true!

    I am assertive. I'm unfiltered. I take chances when it comes to women. I do what I want and say what I want. Guess what? This is how you become charming. A woman thinks your charming when you take a risk and kiss her (or even try)!

    Don't get me wrong. Women call me an a$$hole ALL the time. I'm naturally cocky/funny with women and they LOVE it. When they call me an a$$hole they are only joking and I know it! I'm razzing them all the time but in a fun/playful way. I say bold things, but never anything that makes fun of them in a way that would HURT them.

    The key is to be totally yourself. If you disagree with someone TELL THEM but don't belittle their opinion. If you've met someone only once greet them like an old friend. Go and talk to the guy at the party that no one else is talking to! If someone is talking sh!t about someone you know back the person up! Don't partake in that crap. When your out with a woman open the door for her! Tell your women friends how awesome they look when you go out. Women LOVE compliments and they try REALLY hard to look nice. Let them know that they look stunning! This is VERY charming to women.

    The charming gentleman IS a nice guy. He is very friendly and well liked by people. The key is he doesn't let people walk all over him.

  5. #4
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Nice guy to a$$hole to charming gentlemen: The revolution

    Awesome post mate!!

    I'm at the point of fine tuning my 'charming gentleman' now and think it's honestly the best way to be.

    I think the whole a$$hole route is just a massive dlv. All you're doing is treating someone else like sh1t to try and give yourself value. It'll be a sad sad day when the only option I have is to be an a$$hole just to keep a girl interested!!

    Of course you still need to be a challenge and stand up for yourself, but there is certainly nothing wrong with a bit of chivalry.

    Quote Originally Posted by DirectIsBest View Post
    The key is to be totally yourself. If you disagree with someone TELL THEM but don't belittle their opinion. If you've met someone only once greet them like an old friend. Go and talk to the guy at the party that no one else is talking to! If someone is talking sh!t about someone you know back the person up! Don't partake in that crap. When your out with a woman open the door for her! Tell your women friends how awesome they look when you go out. Women LOVE compliments and they try REALLY hard to look nice. Let them know that they look stunning! This is VERY charming to women.

    The charming gentleman IS a nice guy. He is very friendly and well liked by people. The key is he doesn't let people walk all over him.
    Summed up perfectly!!

    Great post and kudos on the YouTube link


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