Have you ever taken a girl home, you thought sex was on the cards…but she ends up sleeping in your bed, with you in it, but without any sexual activity taking place at all? That’s right, both of you in bed, but no sex happening?
This used to happen to me all the time. I’d open, attract, qualify, run great comfort…run a good solid interaction. We’d day2 and it would go great. The girl would end up in my room and it was so on! But…what to do now? I’d feel awkward, unsure of what to do next, in the dark about how to escalate to sex. And, sure enough, we’d both wind up in bed. Together. Half naked. Sleeping. BUT NO SEX!
Here are some key pointers to help solve this sticky sticking point and put you both on track to having a much more enjoyable evening:
• Kino early – this breaks down the touch barrier and gets both of you used to touching each other. If you aren’t touching each other throughout your interaction, it’s extremely unlikely you’ll end up sleeping together.
# (A word from my experience: a lot of guys remember to kino during the initial approach but forget to re-initiate the touch on the day2 – don’t make this mistake! Assuming you’ve built attraction and run good game, good kino and a healthy dose of physical leading are all you really need to escalate to sex.)#
• Close the distance – you need some way to get at least within kissing range to start getting down to the practical act of sex.
Let’s focus on the second point: closing the distance. A great way to close the distance and begin escalating towards sex is massage.
Often I’ll seed this during the date itself, setting a qualifying frame around her ability to give good massages. It then feels perfectly natural to call back to this and initiate massage later. Here’s a typical way I run this:
‘Are you good at massage? Not bad I actually learned massage as a kid. I takes a lot of body awareness to be good at massage, you have to be really in touch with your own body before you can really ‘get’ how your touch is affecting someone else, you know?’
And then take your hand away, lean back and say, ‘Cool, you’re pretty good.’ Or put a big smile on your face and playfully exclaim, ‘No, no, no…that’s terrible! Here, let me show you…’ take her hand and begin to massage it.
The astute among you will recognise elements of:
• dhv’ing your own body awareness (trust me, the connections here with great sex are not lost on girls)
• Building comfort through touch
• Push pull as you release the massage (particularly applicable in a date/cold approach scenario)
You can run this routine in the club or in the bedroom. In the club, it’s a handy piece that works well in qualification and comfort. In the bedroom, it’s perfect for closing the distance. From the hand, you can move to massaging the neck, shoulders and upper back (or actually start there, ‘Here, rub my shoulders.’ I often have a girl sit down at my computer to search for a funny clip on YouTube, stand behind her and casually start rubbing her shoulders as an ‘in’ to the routine).
You can have the girl lie down; tell her to remove her top to let you massage her better. Give her a really nice massage; throw some oil on there, some nice music. After a while, she’ll be making lovely ‘mmm’ noises and you’ll feel that escalation window open up for you. Pause the massage; start kissing her neck and back, escalating from there on in. In my experience, this process is so natural that LMR rarely makes an appearance.
So, next time you have a girl in your room and you know it’s time to take things in a sexual direction, try out this little number and have fun…