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Thread: Flirty girl at the office, not sure if interested

  1. #1
    2champ2 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Flirty girl at the office, not sure if interested

    Ok, I was always against the idea of gaming a girl at work, especially now that I am in a more professional work setting. I work in an office with 11 people. We hired this solid HB8 a couple months ago and because we are both the only younger people in the office and both of us recently graduated, we both naturally had a lot in common. She slowly opened up to me but now texts me all the time during the day and fb messages me throughout the day joking around and she has been pretty flirty at times, she is always smiling around me, and responds positively when I flirt with her. She even invited me to lunch with her today.

    This would all be great but the work thing complicates it big time, in my mind it does anyway. While we both get along great and are flirty with each other, neither of us really hit on each other, and I dont try to escalate at all really. I dont because if I have misread this whole situation, I dont want to create an awkward situation. No one at work knows that we text or talk as much as we actually do and she seems to want to be discrete about that a little bit (originally we emailed each other during the day, but she decided texting would be more private).

    How do I figure out if shes actually into me or just a friendly girl who likes to joke around with me because I am the only young guy there? Like I said normally I would keep work separate, but shes a really cool girl, and damn she has a great body lol. Any suggestions or input are greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Flirty girl at the office, not sure if interested

    Firstly I would just put the whole work thing out of your head. Lots of people meet at work and can have successful relationships. The only thing to consider is if it goes pear shaped you have to be comfortable seeing her again at work. Some people will raise the issue of sexual harassment but that will only be an issue if you do actually sexually harass her.

    If she is texting and smiling she is interested in you.

    The best way is to get to know her more physically outside of work but still use work to demonstrate higher value until then. You are both young but make sure you try and demonstrate your leadership skills (that you are a strong male, survival skills, provider, protector etc). Secondly try and gain prequalification with other women. This may have already been achieved if she sees photos of you with other girls on FB (or even just having lots of good looking girls who are friends on FB) or she sees how other women in the office like you. You could also do it by subtley talking about good looking women in conversation - ie 'oh that reminds me of when I was in high school and I had like 4 girls chasing me...they were really cute, but I ended up dating someone from another school instead, she was a great dancer...quite a good kisser too I might add '.

    You could either wait for her to instigate another lunch date and then say 'I'm busy for lunch but I could do a quick drink after work' or you frame the lunch date in a 'not interested' way as if you are just doing it out of courtesy because she asked you before. Or you could create hints for her to ask you out again. If she says something like 'hows your work going?' you could answer 'Awesome, I'm almost finished! I'm already starting to dream of a long island ice tea after work' (or food, or whatever could potentially make her ask you out and join you).

    So far she is showing interest and you want to capitalize on that. If you suddenly show lots of interest out of the blue, her frame could change and she might behave completely differently putting up defense mechanisms that put you off guard.

    The main thing is try get her out outside of work, preferably at night (don't fall into a routine of lunch dates) where you can open up together into incredible conversation. The best thing is you already get along and can completely use work talk to your advantage - making funny harmless jokes about co-workers or office conditions, promoting your leadership and talents, hinting at other pursuits or talents you have outside of work for mystery, negging and teasing her playfully. Once outside of work you can observe her body language to initialy gauge her level of interest (is she playing with her hair a lot, did she make herself look good, is she copying your moves?) and then fire up some Kino. During conversation touch her, especially when making a funny or teasing joke. If she responds to the kino you should have a fair gaurantee she likes you. If she kino's you back in any way, she definately likes you and you should progress to kiss close. You could try initially framing it as if you are not interested in her, she's just an annoying colleague, but then as the night goes on you frame it towards your mind being hijacked by her ala mystery style.

    I would personally make things happen fairly fast and avoid having too much time to let work complexities seep into the mix, plus she will have already prequalified you to an extent having observed you at work and via texts. Just bring it back to the basics of biological attraction and having a good time.

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