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  • 1 Post By artandale

Thread: Been dating a girl, now I have to leave to work

  1. #1
    Rosebud is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Been dating a girl, now I have to leave to work

    Hello everyone,

    I have dated a girl two times, we seem to have a very nice connection.
    Only KC her, and won't have the opportunity to FC before I leave to work.
    I tried to schedule a 3rd meet for this week, but she is busy.

    The job will be for about a month and a half, and after that I will return to the city which we both live in.

    Not building to much expectations on this girl, since I tend to end up being dissapointed when I concentrate on a specific girl, but I do like her, comfortable with her and am attracted to her.

    My question is this:
    With my interest of continuing our acquaintance when I return, and without being too naive regarding the expectation the "she'll wait for me", what should be my next move?
    Right now, things are standing at the point that after telling me she's busy all week and asking when do I leave, I replyed with the specific day and recieved no response since then, and probably won't recieve in the future since presumably she don't know what to respond.

    So, what should I do next? freeze the connection?
    continue to be in touch via text & phone call?

    Thanks in advance!
    (Since English isn't my mother language, I apologise for mistakes).

  2. #2
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Been dating a girl, now I have to leave to work

    Why do you think freeze outs would be helpful? She doesnt seem to be exhibiting bad behavior...

    Just lead.. It sounds like you're putting a lot of expectations on her for yourself. When you escalate it should because you've built comfort, broken rapport and qualified yourself beyond her walls. When you're struggling to get her attention or getting past her walls then you're likely to fail. So stop that way of thinking and have fun. The nire fun you have the likely chance she will do and will start to open up to you and if done correctly no LMR.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  3. #3
    Rosebud is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Been dating a girl, now I have to leave to work

    First of all, thanks for your reply.

    Second, you'r probably right, I build too much expectations.
    You are also right about the freez out. But on the other hand, I won't be able to see her for over a month, we've met only twice which means I haven't built much comfort and emotional connection - therefore, keeping in touch via text or phone calls might seem "needy".

    To conclude - I extract two questions:
    1) What do you mean by "having fun".
    2) How do I fit "having fun" into the schedule of not seeing her for at least a two months from today, or what is the correct strategy to not "burn this bridge".

    Thanks.

  4. #4
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Been dating a girl, now I have to leave to work

    Having fun means just that. If you're thinking it means something beyond what that means then you're reading too far into it.

    You can still skype / google hang or text once in a while to remind her you plan to see her when you get back. It seems like a relationship at this point but if you want her--ask yourself--what are you willing to do? Who do you want to be and how is it related to her.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  5. #5
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Been dating a girl, now I have to leave to work

    What artandale said is on the money - just be cool, yourself and be relaxed. How do you have fun? Humoress situations. You might be away from each other but you can still have fun! Ever read a book? Ever watched a movie alone? You don't need anything except imagination - the best virtue of being a human being.

    Just keep in contact here and there. For a month you can't do anything except remind her you are there and absolutely amazing. Don't try too hard. Just send something every couple of days and when your back Kino enough to break down the long distance barriers.

  6. #6
    Rosebud is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Been dating a girl, now I have to leave to work

    Thanks alot guys. I sense that I should just keep it simple.
    Over-interpreting is an acute problem of mine.
    But I am learning from my mistakes, and I change rapidly.

    May the sun shine in you'r fears. Good night.


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