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  1. #1
    minislim82 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default social awkwardness let me down?

    hi guys just wanted to share a experience I had today and ask for some advice on what I should of done and/or how I should do it another time

    so I went out for food with a male friend this afternoon went to a bar that's usually a busy place on a sat night youngsters drinking away and a dance floor complete with a sticky floor but now its more of a food pub and the dancefloor is replaced by tables and chairs

    we get a table and order food and I caught a girl across the room looking my way gave awkward smiles and must of caught her eye half a dozen times after that. she was with 3 fiends at her table 2 of them eating

    after afew glances I had to leave and walked past her table to the exit we had a smile and exchanged "byes" and that was it looked back as I left and saw her look too but I didn't do anything, no approaching no chatting.

    not great at talking to girls let alone approaching them although id love to be better. how would I go up to girls in this situation in future?

  2. #2
    SiliconMagician's Avatar
    SiliconMagician is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: social awkwardness let me down?

    Quote Originally Posted by minislim82 View Post
    hi guys just wanted to share a experience I had today and ask for some advice on what I should of done and/or how I should do it another time

    so I went out for food with a male friend this afternoon went to a bar that's usually a busy place on a sat night youngsters drinking away and a dance floor complete with a sticky floor but now its more of a food pub and the dancefloor is replaced by tables and chairs

    we get a table and order food and I caught a girl across the room looking my way gave awkward smiles and must of caught her eye half a dozen times after that. she was with 3 fiends at her table 2 of them eating

    after afew glances I had to leave and walked past her table to the exit we had a smile and exchanged "byes" and that was it looked back as I left and saw her look too but I didn't do anything, no approaching no chatting.

    not great at talking to girls let alone approaching them although id love to be better. how would I go up to girls in this situation in future?
    First. Think about how that made you feel. Which do you think hurts worse when you think back on that moment. The possible rejection, or the disappointment you feel in yourself for not approaching in the first place?

    I have your answer. I promise you, the pain of kicking your own ass in regret over a failed approach is more intense than the pain from a blown out approach. Because the pain of a blown out approach fades rapidly. The "what could've happened if only I had.." of a non-approach can haunt you for years!

    You have to literally force yourself to engage in those opportunities when they come. After the initial eye contact, and a secondary eye contact a bit later to confirm. You should have approached the entire group, introduced yourself. That would have been the beginning.

    But with 3 friends? That is a tough nut to crack, but the attempt is what is necessary man. You don't have to be "good talking to girls". All that matters is that what you do say, you say with confidence.

    What you need is a good old fashion dose of Tyler Durden.

    The best PUA posts ever: 25 points - Tyler Durden

    Start there.

  3. #3
    WillEdward's Avatar
    WillEdward is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: social awkwardness let me down?

    Just be friendly and social to everybody at her table. Open them by remarking one of the dishes they have looks delicious. They will comment back and agree or whatever. Have a short exchange and transistion by saying they are all really friendly and ask where they are from. Sit down next to your target if there is a seat available and continue gaming all of them. Find out what their plans are for later that night to figure out logistics. Eventually try to do mini Isolation with your target by just talking with her at the table. Either stay with her group and then Isolate her completely or Number Close her.
    Elevate Your Game | Check out my blog for lay reports, attraction and dancefloor game tips !

    willedward.com

  4. #4
    Naughty Napoleon's Avatar
    Naughty Napoleon is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: social awkwardness let me down?

    I will usually wave her to toilet or outside and meet her there.

    Go in and include her friend is not suitable for quick intimacy; just my experience though.

  5. #5
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: social awkwardness let me down?

    You can also do quick recon number closes. I have done this often in exactly your situation. You're leaving with your friends, you don't have any time for chatting so you go straight up, say hi to the table and introduce yourself (so you are no longer a stranger), then politely but confidently ask the target for her number. After verifying the number by calling it right there, say thanks, smile and say goodbye to all of them. The sheer confidence of approaching coupled with your natural body language is already a great poker hand to play. If she was looking at you the whole night she has already engineered this to happen anyway.

    If I see an opportunity, no matter how small or seemingly impossible, I will give it a go. 1) I do this for the exact same reasons that Siliconmagician said and 2) because I relish the chance to ask girls out in completely difficult sitations just for the 'adrenaline rush' of having to do something so brave. That's the thing about Approach Anxiety - it's a trip! I actually get off on the rush. Even if I get a 'No' I get off on the fact I did it. I have even run out of a barber shop with the apron on and loose hair falling off me just to ask a girl out!


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