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Thread: Building attraction! Help!!

  1. #1
    Sidewinder is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Building attraction! Help!!

    I am currently at the stage now here I am trying to improve my skill at attracting women.

    I am currently using the M3 and the Magic Bullets structure to guide me through the different aspects of learning, i know the material is old, but these methods seem to be the only ones I can find that have structure that i can base my learning on.

    My plan is to learn each stage then eventually, once i understand everything be able to mix it all up and think on my feet and then naturally begin to attract women.

    I have a few questions about Attraction and wondered if anyone one could shed some light. As I understand it below are the main elements or building blocks you need to attract women.

    1. DHV stories (containing DHV spikes to trigger attraction switches)

    2. DHV routines (fun games/cold reads/teach them something cool or interesting)

    3. Negs (backhanded playful comments - make out you are not hitting on girls)

    4. Disqualification (making out that she is not your type - you are not attracted to her or phased by her)

    5.push-pull (flirting - verbally &/or non verbally - giving an IOI followed by an IOD)

    6. Cocky + Funny routines (having the confidence to hold your frame and be funny)

    7. Cat String Theory (be hard to get - give her your attention then take it away when)


    My question is that I am getting massively confused by the concept of Negs/Disqualification/push-pull/cocky - funny and cat string theory, when looking for information on these elements they seem to all be the same kind of thing for example:

    Neg - "you have really pretty eye's.....especially the left one!"

    Neg - "I really like your nails are they real?..no?....oohh.. .ok... well...i guess they're still nice!"

    Neg - (non-verbal) performing a back turn on her after a fun conversation

    now these are described as Negs - but to me they seem exactly the same concept as push-push / disqualification / being cocky + funny and Cat string theory?


    So I am interested to know - should I be looking at each one in turn and learning how to incorporate them or are they basically all of the same thing??

    what's basically happening in my head when I am out talking to girls is this:

    My Brain - (Right ok neg the target......urrrrmmm m think of a neg.....look at her and neg her about something!!!)

    My Brain - right.....ok Disqualify yourself quick) "you know, too bad your blonde or you'd so be my type"

    My Brain - (ok now push-pull her to build attraction.........o k......think of a way to compliment her then push her away.......errrm) "you know your really interesting.....if i was a nerd I would so be digging you right now"

    My Brain - (ok she laughed that was good.....now be cocky and funny......wait I thought the last one was cocky funny, no that was push-pull......what the hell is cocky funny then FFS)

    My Brain - (oh shit.....you just asked for her name and what she did for a living......thats AFC.....you've blown it dude, you might get a sympathy number but that's about it....it will be a wrong number!)


    basically I have no idea whether these elements of attraction are all the same and should just be treated as one thing or if each element needs to be worked on section by section.........

    Any help or tips on learning attraction material would be much appreciated!! my brain just gets stuck if you said to me - go neg that girl or do push-pull now or disqualify yourself or be cocky funny now - I just can't turn that on like a switch because I am not really sure what I should be learning and when I should use a neg or a disqualifier or whether i should push-pull or be cocky funny.....cause they all basically seem to be THE SAME FRIGGIN THING!!

  2. #2
    Adam Taylor's Avatar
    Adam Taylor is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Building attraction! Help!!

    You are thinking too much about it, bro - it's a rookie mistake trying to categorize everything and dig yourself too much into books. Read PUA stuffs, but a golden advice I got from an MPUA: 2 times more time in field than getting into theories. So if you read PUA stuffs one hour a day, spend 2 hours out in the field. It's good that you get to know theories, but it's gonna eventually get together out in a field, in a date etc.

    What you are talking about is almost the same thing, but from different angles.
    cocky funny is a mentality that you should have as an ALPHA MALE. NEG is a tool to build attraction, be cocky and funny. Cat String Theory is a theory, PUSH-PULL is the tool you use.

    Some PUA think negging is not neccesary, or even harmful - in my opinion it's a good tool and it's good to learn to use it efficiently, but you don't have to use it all the time, it's depending on the girl, the situation etc. If the girl is not bitchy and your DHV stories and materials are solid enough, you should't use negs at all.

    If you are on a date or in a social interaction with the girl, just go with the flow, don't overthink it. More approaches, more dates, more girls and it's getting clearer and clearer what you should and shouldn't do.

  3. #3
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Building attraction! Help!!

    Yes, keep it natural and don't force negs. To me negs are usually being a bit cheeky (I'm kind of cheeky anyway) and playful or pouncing on something she said. A lot of guys don't realise how many stupid things girls say during a date. If a girl does or says something a little weird or incorrect then I will pounce on it and tease her - its never mean...its almost like a parent would tease a child or a teacher would tease a student. I have found girls really like it when you are very rapid in response - especially if they tease you or sh!t test you first. Eventually you learn to understand how women think and it's not always what they say, or what you say, but how you say it.

    Same with push pull....I never really think about it but when you start dating lots of women or being around lots of women, eventually quiet naturally you start getting bored, or less impressed or impatient....so instead of giving a girl everything she wants you start being more selfish in a way 'I dont wanna see a movie...lets go for a walk', 'You want to get an ice cream now? At 11pm? Ive got a better idea...lets kiss'. 'Right, that's it...I can't be seen with you anymore, I'm leaving, bye! (of course you are completely joking and sarcastic while doing this)'. Push pull could even be having a great conversation with her for a while and then burrowing back into your phone for a minute or two 'sorry, I just need to reply to these messages'. She will likely imagine you're texting another girl knowing the way women think, but that should hopefully strengthen her investment in you.

    In most cases I probably don't neg or even push pull that much...I let my confidence and dhv status do a lot of the work, I'm friendly, positive and talkative and I make girls feel good. Not every compliment has to be cocky. I often ask girls lots of mundane questions and I often compliment girls. Its how you do it that counts. Like baking a cake - all the ingredients are actually rather boring by themselves - flour, sugar, butter, milk etc - it's how you put them together and bake it into a delicous cake that counts.

    Be confident, be yourself, be flirty and be fun!

  4. #4
    CapPickup is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Building attraction! Help!!

    You're still new, don't worry it's normal. This is the part where you feel uncomfortable because of the sudden change in your perspective and you feel overwhelmed with your new found knowledge.

    When you're in the field you have to just forget every thing you read, watched and just remember the basics. Carve the basics into your brain "Go out, talk to women,don't filter yourself, have a good time and enjoy". Learn how to fight, sharpen your sword and just charge forward That's all you need to know and it'll come off naturally.

    Whenever you think too much about something it farks up your brain and your whole body betrays you.

    When basketball players overthink instead of just having fun, they miss the shot. When Actors overthink instead of focusing in the moment, they break character.

    General rule : Have fun and don't over think

  5. #5
    johnnymaddick is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Building attraction! Help!!

    Dont look for explanation. Go and try everything and you will figure out what works for you and what doesnt. With practice you will also learn to calibrate and understand what instrument to use and to what degree. Just go and repeat this loop: learn-practice-get feedback-analyze-learn.
    If you can find a coach or a mentor who will help you realize what areas of your game are good and what you need to work on. It will save you time!
    Because the amount of information out there is really confusing, you can read all your life!
    Good luck! And it is better and faster to watch videos - easier to understand and copy - thanks youtube!

    Stay beautiful,

    Maddick

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Building attraction! Help!!

    I personally don't like the way Mystery Method is laid out / explained.
    It's too much like an instruction manual for my taste.
    (I'm not knocking MM, or the techniques/info... just the way it's put together... It seems like there's too much rigid structure at first glance.)

    I'm more the type to learn from a "storytelling" perspective, where you can get a more vivid mental picture of what's being explained.)

    I should also point out that I'm incredibly lazy, and want the fastest results with the shortest amount of time & effort put into it.


    So I took information from dozens of "gurus" & streamlined my approach/style/technique., in order to obtain the most success with the least amount of effort.

    Flirting should be FUN!! Not mechanical. (Which is what the MM structure feels like to me).

    I hate wading through a bunch of crap with girls...
    I would rather cannon-ball in & find out immediately whether or not we're gonna click.
    (60 seconds & I can tell if I want to pursue a girl or not.)

    I don't care if she doesn't "get me".. I'll move on because I have ZERO time/effort invested when I first meet her... and there are a BILLION other girls out there.

    But when it comes to flirting, I PROMISE YOU: FUN is the ultimate attraction switch!

    Tease/banter/razz... laughter lowers defenses. Confidence & an opinion stands out... Standing out sparks curiosity....
    curiosity IS "attraction."



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  7. #7
    Sidewinder is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Building attraction! Help!!

    Awesome replies fellas - really appreciate the feedback certainly put my mind at rest cause i was starting to feel like i was drowning in a sea of theory!

    To be fair - I feel like I have always gotten on with girls - i haven't really had a problem with talking to them or even dating them or pulling them - in fact I have spent 7 years of my life in relationships.

    I feel like I have many of the qualities that are mentioned to be good with women - I'm confident, I have a sense of humor I'm non-needy, I'm not afraid to walk away, I have lots of friends and I feel I have good social skills, it's rare that I meet someone that I don't get along well with plus I know what qualities I'm looking for in a girl.

    But, my goal is to be able to attract the women I really want to attract - sometimes I end up talking to a group of girls - being attracted to the HB 8/9/10 but I end up attracting the 5 or the 6 - and on the odd occasion going home with her waking up in the morning just to see the HB 8/9/10 making cereal in her tight little booty shorts - hangover always seems to kick in hard at that point!!

    I always feel that I can't generate enough attraction to hook the hot girl and get her attracted and chasing me yet I seem to have no problem attracting the not so good looking mate, maybe subconsciously because I am attracted to the hot one my behavior may start to turn AFC, I then end up ignoring and teasing her mate who then becomes attracted to me!!

    See, now that I have discovered pick up and I have read books I have recognized things that I have done in the past subconsciously at the time that could be viewed as push/pull, negs or false disqualification without actually realizing i was doing them.

    Now that I am starting to understand these things I am anxious to be able to master them so that i can push that attraction to attract that HB 8/9/10 so that she is making ME cereal in the morning and I can bust my mate for sleeping with the Grenade.

    I understand that it take practice and the advice of going out chatting to as many women as you can will help you - thing is I am doing that I dont have a problem with going out and talking to women, yes maybe i could talk to more and push myself harder which I am in the process of doing but I am still finding it hard to generate enough attraction to get the girl(s) that I really want.

    I wanna be that guy that approaches the hottest girl in the bar hooks her and her mates and either get's them to hang with me for the rest of the night cause they dig me (minimum goal) or she takes me home and she rides me like I'm a goddamn Buckaroo! (maximum goal)

    What I'm REALLY looking for, is the key elements I need to learn about attraction to be able to work towards helping me become THAT GUY - like a structure to attraction - a starting point a middle and a finish, how did you all start? what did you all learn? how did you improve? and what elements did you study? - like a guide line to put me on the right track so I can kick on with climbing the ladder to becoming THAT GUY!!

  8. #8
    ThunderJean is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Building attraction! Help!!

    i do have the same issues than you


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