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  1. #1
    Newone is offline PUA in Training
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    Default #justafcthings (Asking a girl out)

    Hello sirs:

    My date today was cancelled. What happened this lunch is, she goes to our table. Pretty shy, can't talk to me, can't hold eye contact, too awkward. Me sitting in front of her, as AFC as it might be, I didn't care, and treat her like a friend, I'm trying to hide my awkwardness, but I also didn't act like I care about it to project IOD.

    Happened to my 2nd ex. She is attracted to me but can't speak, hands too cold, can't even look at me for too long, which is why she is my ex, I broke our "relationship". She cried though, so although I'm not proud of it, I know she cares.

    Back to the present, later that afternoon which is the time for our date, she ask her friend to tell me she can't go. I said ok, and wave goodbye to her from a distance. About an hour later, the friend called and told me that the girl I should've dated is sorry for what happened, and want to reschedule a "friendly" date. I misinterpreted that and I said no, I ask her out because I want her to be my girlfriend, if it's a friendly date why should I bother. The friend was shocked. Then I told her to give the phone to the girl. She said sorry, and what she means by saying friendly is, to know each other better. She also want to reschedule the date, I said nope, can't do a friendly date, I'll just cancel it if it is what it is. She told me that I was too fast and she is not ready. I said I still won't do it. She insist that we date on monday. I am pretty much giving excuses to not date her anymore, as I am really confused, even told her I will think about it, and she ask me what? why?. Told her I have to work, she ask me what time is your work, I said 6pm. After all of that I said sure, with a tone of "I'll try".

    She is not comfortable with me, but still she insisted that we date. I don't know if she is attracted or not. I don't know how to flirt because of my glorious AFC Mindset.

    Anyway, long story short, I sounded a little bit too straightforward, too aggressive, too fast, spoiled, a little bit desperate or uncaring (not sure). I didn't flirt with her, no convo as I'm afraid I'll fall into friendzone. No touch, just that. I'm not comfortable talking to girls either but I am trying. What is your advice guys? What's wrong with my attitude? Also, should I still date her and what to do if that happens?

  2. #2
    Grey2fox is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: #justafcthings (Asking a girl out)

    Well you seem to be going after naturally shy girls. If that's the case then patience is a virtue. Some shy girls will just take time to get used to a person in order to open up. The fact that she's trying really hard to reschedule the date means she's really interested. If you're still interested then don't play THAT hard to get. Get your ass in gear and reschedule the date in your own terms.

    Do not go for this restaurant date or whatever. If she's shy, the last thing you need to do is sit next to/infront of each other in some restaurant for the next hour or so. This will just exacerbate the awkwardness. How about you do something fun, go bowling or any other activity and use the fun atmosphere to deflect that shyness. You still haven't lost her but you will if you keep saying no. If you want her as your girlfriend then be prepared to invest some time with her before it happens. You can attract shy girls pretty much the same way as any other girls but the difference is that the former will require a bit more time and some patience. Extra care as to not hurt her feelings.

  3. #3
    Newone is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: #justafcthings (Asking a girl out)

    Quote Originally Posted by Grey2fox View Post
    Well you seem to be going after naturally shy girls. If that's the case then patience is a virtue. Some shy girls will just take time to get used to a person in order to open up. The fact that she's trying really hard to reschedule the date means she's really interested. If you're still interested then don't play THAT hard to get. Get your ass in gear and reschedule the date in your own terms.

    Do not go for this restaurant date or whatever. If she's shy, the last thing you need to do is sit next to/infront of each other in some restaurant for the next hour or so. This will just exacerbate the awkwardness. How about you do something fun, go bowling or any other activity and use the fun atmosphere to deflect that shyness. You still haven't lost her but you will if you keep saying no. If you want her as your girlfriend then be prepared to invest some time with her before it happens. You can attract shy girls pretty much the same way as any other girls but the difference is that the former will require a bit more time and some patience. Extra care as to not hurt her feelings.
    Tip taken. I really did exaggerate the giving IOD thing. We will go to an ice skating rink, or some sport, err I'll think about it. I don't really want to spend too much money or time yet, because I'm not sure if she will be a good gf. Anyway, should I do an AFC thing like texting her for setting the date, or just tell her on monday? I really appreciate your guidance masters.

  4. #4
    Grey2fox is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: #justafcthings (Asking a girl out)

    Sorry for the late reply. You can text her or ask her in person it doesn't matter either way. Her interest level is good enough for either methods.

    You being unsure she'll make a good girlfriend can be interpreted in different ways:

    1- You've genuinely thought about this and really don't think she's right for you. In that case tell her and don't waste each other's time.

    2- Your mind is playing tricks on you with this AFC move. You are sabotaging yourself by second guessing every step with "What if" questions. This is more likely in my opinion as you've said you are prone to making AFC moves.

    So what you can do is go out with her and look for the positives. Ignore the "What if".

  5. #5
    Newone is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: #justafcthings (Asking a girl out)

    Quote Originally Posted by Grey2fox View Post
    Sorry for the late reply. You can text her or ask her in person it doesn't matter either way. Her interest level is good enough for either methods.

    You being unsure she'll make a good girlfriend can be interpreted in different ways:

    1- You've genuinely thought about this and really don't think she's right for you. In that case tell her and don't waste each other's time.

    2- Your mind is playing tricks on you with this AFC move. You are sabotaging yourself by second guessing every step with "What if" questions. This is more likely in my opinion as you've said you are prone to making AFC moves.

    So what you can do is go out with her and look for the positives. Ignore the "What if".
    I written a report about it in the report section, but its a little detailed so it will be a long read. But to sum it up, she got really uncomfortable during the date. I believe I didn't built enough comfort before asking her out. I used sashas daygame approach but unfortunately, I'm still too new to rely on my own.


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