OK I have been having an intercation with a HB10 that I met online - we have exchanged numbers and have been texting but she is a tough cookie and she just gave me the mother of all shit tests.
This girl comes across as a major major bitch, she's intelligent, beautiful and very passionate.
I have been struggling to banter with her - she doesn't seem to bite and go with the banter and isn't into seeming to have a fun interaction - she has a major chip on her shoulder. I have been trying to be fun and playful with her and literally a moment ago I just decided to cut the banter and go in serious - she gave me the mother of all shit tests and I want to know whether you guys think I responded correctly to her or If i could have done something different.
I kept running over the thing Mystery says that girls are not bitches and if you lose the girl it's your fault and not her fault - so i used that knowledge to structure my response. Apologies for the long post -
ME: Hey there Hoppy, hows the ankle holding up?
HB: Hey, not too bad, can walk on it which is a plus I guess! You alright?
ME: Ahh I can't call you Hoppy anymore then! I will think of something else I am sure! I'm good - bit hungover - any nurse tips to help me sooth it?
HB: Man up or Don't so much!
ME: great....you're fired!
HB: Don't ask if you don't want the truth
ME: I feel sorry for your patients! I'm your annoying but very loveable and awesome friend, you should use your powers of being a nurse to help me on the road to recovery!
HB: No Sympathy. My patients have genuine medical problems that aren't self inflicted, hence why they get my amazing nursing skills. Whereas you sir, need to just man up.
ME:I'm not gonna share any of this chocolate cake with you now
HB: Good because I don't like chocolate cake anyway
ME: What do you like?
HB: Nothing you have will gain my sympathy
ME:Shame.....I have all this spare beer left over I was gonna send you to cheer you up after hurting your ankle - plus I give awesome back rubs and I just cancelled youe "free back rub" token
HB: I actually quit alcohol 9 weeks ago, so that's not tempting me in the slightest. As for a back rub, being a nurse I get to visit the physio and chiropractor for free all the time
---------------> Now i didnt have much to respond I knew whatever she said she would just shoot me down even if she really liked whatever I might have came up with so I decided to handle it like this:
ME: hahaha! You're cute
Me: and such a bratt! I love it!
ME: 9 weeks without alcohol?? that's ridiculous
-----------> Ok at this point I knew the she wasn't biting and I started to think that this bitchy attitude is all bullshit, I've been friendly fun and trying to build rapport with her, so I decided to cut the crap and call her out with this:
ME: Let me as you something - and I'm gonna pause the banter for a sec - are you single because you can't find a guy who you think has the "steel" to "handle" you - you are obviously somebody who knows what they want in life and in a partner and do you often think that maybe the hard exterior you portray puts guys off as it's maybe too much of a challenge?
ME: For example have you ever asked yourself "I wish he would DISAGREE with me for once and quit trying to impress me" i.e show some balls??
---------------> now for the MOTHER of all shit tests!!!
HB: Firstly I'm doing a 12 week detox for a charity, which I don't find ridiculous in the slightest. Secondly, I hate the word "banter" it's a crap word for an excuse for chatting shit and thirdly, I'm not really one for being appreciative in having someone attempt to poorly "analyse" me when they know nothing about me. I don't have a hard exterior with those I know, love or care about.
-----------------------------> HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!
Now - my first reaction to this was - oh fuck i have majorly pissed her off, then I was angry and though all I have tried to do with this girl is be fun and nice and I wanted to go back and really shoot some angry shit back at her - no way did I deserve that response and how dare she talk to me like that......so before I responded like that I had a 25 minute drive home and to be honest that helped me - I was thinking how to respond to this and I was thinking about calling her out and arguing that I was not analyzing her I was making an observation and asking her a question....basiacll y I was gonna defend myself and stand up for myself.......then it hit me......
I thought girls are not bitches that's what mystery said and I recently watched a video of him turning an aggressive girl around and he ended up making out with her so i thought ......the reason why she responded like that is because I have just figured her out and hit the nail on the head and basically summed her up in two text messages and I am thinking no guy has been able to do that.....and she hated that I was able to do that.......that is my take on it......what i said to her was bang on the money .....so this was my response.....
ME: Finally.......a woman with some balls
---------->I called her 'women' instead of 'girl' as a means to portray respect.
I left it like that for ten minutes.....then I remembered a psychology trick from reading about pickup where you can change the way people act towards you basically by telling them how you want them to react in a subtle way......so I sent this:
ME: You are dead right - I know very little about you but from the small interaction that we have had I have begun to get to know you a little and I can tell you are a really nice and passionate person......and that's awesome.
-----------> No i know she has read those texts yet I have not yet had a reply from her......I won't be replying to her now until she or if she texts me back.
After a bit of thought I feel good in the way that I handled it, I feel like I stepped up - held my frame and took the moral high ground and I wanted to get some feedback on this and peoples opinions on this interaction.
Did I handle this correctly? Was I wrong to break the banter and call her out and make the observation? should I have done something differently in the interaction and in the response to the shit test??
I am guessing that 95% of other guys would have reacted angrily to her text or ran off and backed down or even apologized and grovelled to her......I am hoping that she wasn't expecting my response and I am hoping that I knocked her off balance....probably for the first time in her life......i hope!