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Thread: Tough Shit Test Response

  1. #1
    Sidewinder is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Tough Shit Test Response

    OK I have been having an intercation with a HB10 that I met online - we have exchanged numbers and have been texting but she is a tough cookie and she just gave me the mother of all shit tests.

    This girl comes across as a major major bitch, she's intelligent, beautiful and very passionate.

    I have been struggling to banter with her - she doesn't seem to bite and go with the banter and isn't into seeming to have a fun interaction - she has a major chip on her shoulder. I have been trying to be fun and playful with her and literally a moment ago I just decided to cut the banter and go in serious - she gave me the mother of all shit tests and I want to know whether you guys think I responded correctly to her or If i could have done something different.

    I kept running over the thing Mystery says that girls are not bitches and if you lose the girl it's your fault and not her fault - so i used that knowledge to structure my response. Apologies for the long post -

    ME: Hey there Hoppy, hows the ankle holding up?

    HB: Hey, not too bad, can walk on it which is a plus I guess! You alright?

    ME: Ahh I can't call you Hoppy anymore then! I will think of something else I am sure! I'm good - bit hungover - any nurse tips to help me sooth it?

    HB: Man up or Don't so much!

    ME: great....you're fired!

    HB: Don't ask if you don't want the truth

    ME: I feel sorry for your patients! I'm your annoying but very loveable and awesome friend, you should use your powers of being a nurse to help me on the road to recovery!

    HB: No Sympathy. My patients have genuine medical problems that aren't self inflicted, hence why they get my amazing nursing skills. Whereas you sir, need to just man up.

    ME:I'm not gonna share any of this chocolate cake with you now

    HB: Good because I don't like chocolate cake anyway

    ME: What do you like?

    HB: Nothing you have will gain my sympathy

    ME:Shame.....I have all this spare beer left over I was gonna send you to cheer you up after hurting your ankle - plus I give awesome back rubs and I just cancelled youe "free back rub" token

    HB: I actually quit alcohol 9 weeks ago, so that's not tempting me in the slightest. As for a back rub, being a nurse I get to visit the physio and chiropractor for free all the time

    ---------------> Now i didnt have much to respond I knew whatever she said she would just shoot me down even if she really liked whatever I might have came up with so I decided to handle it like this:

    ME: hahaha! You're cute

    Me: and such a bratt! I love it!

    HB:

    ME: Butthead!

    ME: 9 weeks without alcohol?? that's ridiculous

    -----------> Ok at this point I knew the she wasn't biting and I started to think that this bitchy attitude is all bullshit, I've been friendly fun and trying to build rapport with her, so I decided to cut the crap and call her out with this:

    ME: Let me as you something - and I'm gonna pause the banter for a sec - are you single because you can't find a guy who you think has the "steel" to "handle" you - you are obviously somebody who knows what they want in life and in a partner and do you often think that maybe the hard exterior you portray puts guys off as it's maybe too much of a challenge?

    ME: For example have you ever asked yourself "I wish he would DISAGREE with me for once and quit trying to impress me" i.e show some balls??

    ---------------> now for the MOTHER of all shit tests!!!

    HB: Firstly I'm doing a 12 week detox for a charity, which I don't find ridiculous in the slightest. Secondly, I hate the word "banter" it's a crap word for an excuse for chatting shit and thirdly, I'm not really one for being appreciative in having someone attempt to poorly "analyse" me when they know nothing about me. I don't have a hard exterior with those I know, love or care about.

    -----------------------------> HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!

    Now - my first reaction to this was - oh fuck i have majorly pissed her off, then I was angry and though all I have tried to do with this girl is be fun and nice and I wanted to go back and really shoot some angry shit back at her - no way did I deserve that response and how dare she talk to me like that......so before I responded like that I had a 25 minute drive home and to be honest that helped me - I was thinking how to respond to this and I was thinking about calling her out and arguing that I was not analyzing her I was making an observation and asking her a question....basiacll y I was gonna defend myself and stand up for myself.......then it hit me......

    I thought girls are not bitches that's what mystery said and I recently watched a video of him turning an aggressive girl around and he ended up making out with her so i thought ......the reason why she responded like that is because I have just figured her out and hit the nail on the head and basically summed her up in two text messages and I am thinking no guy has been able to do that.....and she hated that I was able to do that.......that is my take on it......what i said to her was bang on the money .....so this was my response.....

    ME: Finally.......a woman with some balls

    ---------->I called her 'women' instead of 'girl' as a means to portray respect.

    I left it like that for ten minutes.....then I remembered a psychology trick from reading about pickup where you can change the way people act towards you basically by telling them how you want them to react in a subtle way......so I sent this:

    ME: You are dead right - I know very little about you but from the small interaction that we have had I have begun to get to know you a little and I can tell you are a really nice and passionate person......and that's awesome.



    -----------> No i know she has read those texts yet I have not yet had a reply from her......I won't be replying to her now until she or if she texts me back.

    After a bit of thought I feel good in the way that I handled it, I feel like I stepped up - held my frame and took the moral high ground and I wanted to get some feedback on this and peoples opinions on this interaction.

    Did I handle this correctly? Was I wrong to break the banter and call her out and make the observation? should I have done something differently in the interaction and in the response to the shit test??

    I am guessing that 95% of other guys would have reacted angrily to her text or ran off and backed down or even apologized and grovelled to her......I am hoping that she wasn't expecting my response and I am hoping that I knocked her off balance....probably for the first time in her life......i hope!

    Cheers Guys

  2. #2
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Tough Shit Test Response

    I didn't like this: "I'm your annoying but very loveable and awesome friend"

    It sets up a frame where you're the aggressor, not her.
    Moreover, over the course of your interaction, I got the feeling that you were trying kinda hard to please her. "you should use your powers of being a nurse to help me on the road to recovery! (...) Shame.....I have all this spare beer left over I was gonna send you to cheer you up after hurting your ankle - plus I give awesome back rubs and I just cancelled youe "free back rub" token"

    You gave her IOIs when you didn't have one from her. Here "hahaha! You're cute. and such a bratt! I love it!"

    You should have teased her way more.

    "HB: I actually quit alcohol 9 weeks ago, so that's not tempting me in the slightest. As for a back rub, being a nurse I get to visit the physio and chiropractor for free all the time"

    For example: so you're only a nurse because of being able not to pay anything to your colleagues? And here I was thinking "oh, she wants to help the injured ones, what a good kiddo!", shame on you kiddo...

    As for your rapport break, I didn't like it either, because I'm a guy who likes to keep things fun. Anyway, she kind of qualified herself to you.

    Anyway, I'd answer something ridiculous, such as: oh, so you hide your true self to those who you don't know, and show yourself to those who you know... hum... so you're telling me you're like a turtle or an oyster? ;p

  3. #3
    artandale's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tough Shit Test Response

    My thoughts are that you fumbled and did ok on some recovery... But when the booze came up and didnt match i think you should have acknowledged and moved onto a different subject. Its ok to not talk about the same thing all the time. Move the conversation before it gets hairy because you'll only dig a whole you can't get out of
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  4. #4
    DeviantMethod's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tough Shit Test Response

    I've encountered some girls like this before. I know exactly how to deal with them. This is what you'll need to keep in mind in the future. She doesn't speak that way to the guys in her life she likes. Now that being said, do you think thats because she likes them? Or Does she like them because they wont allow her to speak to them in that way? I'd say the latter. This is not a excuse to be a jerk of course. But you'll waiting on a reply because you played safe in talking to her. Had you been Alpha(in a playful way) in not taking her crap maybe you'd have a open line of communication with her. Worst case scenario Things would be exactly how they are now between you 2. Next time you meet a female communicate things that will force her to consider your as a potential lover. For this one you may not get another chance because you allowed her to run all over you. That was the shyt test. Would this guy take shyt from me or will he put me in my place? I'd say she mostly be attracted to those who respond in a self respecting way because her thats whats she wired to respond positive to. So in closing think like a potential lover and she will see you as one.
    NowYourFucked.tumblr .com/
    READ MY BLOG (farked is the 4 letter curse word)
    put it in correctly and follow me.

  5. #5
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Tough Shit Test Response

    I think you've made a big mistake analyzing this.

    ---------------> now for the MOTHER of all shit tests!!!

    HB: Firstly I'm doing a 12 week detox for a charity, which I don't find ridiculous in the slightest. Secondly, I hate the word "banter" it's a crap word for an excuse for chatting shit and thirdly, I'm not really one for being appreciative in having someone attempt to poorly "analyse" me when they know nothing about me. I don't have a hard exterior with those I know, love or care about.

    -----------------------------> HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!
    this isn't a shit test. this is her telling you off after you failed to recover from the real shit tests.

    witch was this

    HB: Man up or Don't so much!
    this is her trying to get you to qualify to her. though you had an ok reply, you failed to change the topic, and thus she just hit you with a whole volley of crap and used it to draw you to qualify to her.


    ME: I feel sorry for your patients! I'm your annoying but very loveable and awesome friend, you should use your powers of being a nurse to help me on the road to recovery!
    here's where you really farked up.

    a simple "I feel sorry for your patients" would have sufficed.

    but instead you added

    I'm your annoying but very loveable and awesome friend, you should use your powers of being a nurse to help me on the road to recovery!
    this is the most beta thing I've read all day.

    1. you qualified to her. by saying that "annoying but lovable" part.

    2. you called yourself her "friend" (face it your not friends if you haven't hung out at least 3 times so why use that word?) also using the word "friend" implies your lack of confidence in your ability to be more than just friends.

    3. you failed to change the topic from your stupid hangover and drove that topic into the ground.

    HB: No Sympathy. My patients have genuine medical problems that aren't self inflicted, hence why they get my amazing nursing skills. Whereas you sir, need to just man up.

    ME:I'm not gonna share any of this chocolate cake with you now

    HB: Good because I don't like chocolate cake anyway

    ME: What do you like?

    HB: Nothing you have will gain my sympathy
    to make matters worse you just had to keep pushing when you should have switched to pulling back. not to mention that trying to win her over with chocolate cake is very supplicating.(aka really beta)

    ME:Shame.....I have all this spare beer left over I was gonna send you to cheer you up after hurting your ankle - plus I give awesome back rubs and I just cancelled youe "free back rub" token
    and even more obvious supplication to drive her further away lol


    HB: I actually quit alcohol 9 weeks ago, so that's not tempting me in the slightest. As for a back rub, being a nurse I get to visit the physio and chiropractor for free all the time

    ---------------> Now i didnt have much to respond I knew whatever she said she would just shoot me down even if she really liked whatever I might have came up with so I decided to handle it like this:

    ME: hahaha! You're cute

    Me: and such a bratt! I love it!
    and here you rewarded her for absolutely no reason at all. had you just not replied you would have been better off.

    (not to mention that showing interest for no reason is a sure way to show her that you do not care about who she is and you just want in her pants)

    ME: 9 weeks without alcohol?? that's ridiculous
    and yet again butchering the alcohol topic.

    and when she doesn't reply

    [QUOTE]ME: Let me as you something - and I'm gonna pause the banter for a sec - are you single because you can't find a guy who you think has the "steel" to "handle" you - you are obviously somebody who knows what they want in life and in a partner and do you often think that maybe the hard exterior you portray puts guys off as it's maybe too much of a challenge?

    ME: For example have you ever asked yourself "I wish he would DISAGREE with me for once and quit trying to impress me" i.e show some balls??

    [/QUOTE]

    you took things even further. you pushed for her to explain herself for not liking you. this is a big no no.

    HB: Firstly I'm doing a 12 week detox for a charity, which I don't find ridiculous in the slightest. Secondly, I hate the word "banter" it's a crap word for an excuse for chatting shit and thirdly, I'm not really one for being appreciative in having someone attempt to poorly "analyse" me when they know nothing about me. I don't have a hard exterior with those I know, love or care about.
    and this is her getting mad at your persistence and telling you off.

    essentially you tried to force her interest and she got mad when you wouldn't stop.

    ME: Finally.......a woman with some balls
    you should have used that line when she said this

    HB: Don't ask if you don't want the truth
    could have saved you from digging a whole with the alcohol topic.

    ME: You are dead right - I know very little about you but from the small interaction that we have had I have begun to get to know you a little and I can tell you are a really nice and passionate person......and that's awesome
    and here youclaimed to know her dispite barely knowing anything about her, and then rewarded her for dissing you....

    bad move. this only enforces the idea that you are a low value guy who puts her on a pedestal.

    if she texts me back.
    she's not going to text you back.

    After a bit of thought I feel good in the way that I handled it, I feel like I stepped up - held my frame and took the moral high ground and I wanted to get some feedback on this and peoples opinions on this interaction.
    its good that you held conversation, but you certainly didn't hold the high ground in this interaction. you put her value over yours, and showed that you really don't care about who she is as a person.

    Did I handle this correctly? Was I wrong to break the banter and call her out and make the observation? should I have done something differently in the interaction and in the response to the shit test??
    you handled it correctly for about the first three messages. after that things fell apart.

    its good that you kept a cool head, but you can still dig a bottomless pit with a cool head.

    failing to change the topic and rewarding her at the wrong times were your 2 biggest mistakes.

    (note: only reward her with compliments/ioi's when she makes an effort to be with you. not when she's being conflictive with you.)


    you sir, need to read the book "how to meet and connect with women" by wayne elise (you can find it on the internet for free)

    better luck next time.

    METEORA

  6. #6
    Sidewinder is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Tough Shit Test Response

    Awesome responses guys thanks for the feedback - funnily enough when I was typing this out earlier and read the text "I'm your annoying but lovable and awesome friend" I recognized that the word "annoying" was the wrong thing to say - and I agree it kinda sets a negative frame.

    The texts where I put "you're cute and such a brat I love it! was a way to try and Disarm her by using a bit of Push Pull and to try to lower her perceived value in the interaction which i believe she believed was quite high, higher than mine for sure.

    It's difficult to text a girl without giving ioi's how do you go about doing that?

    What was annoying was that she just wasn't biting with the banter and the fun interaction - are you saying that maybe the best thing to do would have been to just stop texting her?? - wait for a new day and start a new conversation thread? less is more for example?

    I felt that she was winning the interaction with her responses to my text which was annoying me because i knew and she knew that and she had more value in the interaction - I just coudn't think of anything to gain a foothold with her - maybe I should have just not responded......but then would that have looked low value? as in she might be thinking he isn't man enough to respond he has wimped out - I didn't wanna feel like that and I didn't want her to think that.

    Literally most of the text messaged we have had she has been like that and it was starting to get on my tits - so I broke rapport as a way of manning up and challenging her bad behavior - I don't feel like I accused her of anything - I just asked her a question based on the behavior of her interaction with me - I did not call her a cold hearted bitch - I tried to just be honest with her make an observation which to be honest I think she took totally the wrong way.

    I thought she was harsh about the part where she mentions deetoxing - I had no way of knowing that was the reason and her comment about banter being crap is kinda bullshit - banter is a part of human communication - banter is basically flirting and I wasn't actually analysing her I actually asked her a question based on an observation so her response in my opinion was stupid - she totally misunderstood me.

  7. #7
    Sidewinder is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Tough Shit Test Response

    Meteora - thanks for the reply I sent my last post before I read your post!

    Awesome thank you for the break down of each stage that has definitely explained A LOT to me - constructive criticism is something I strive on so this is great stuff and I will definitely be reading the book you mentioned.

    I can see where I went wrong - I most definitely made a serious error by not changing the subjuct.

    So to clarify is this what I SHOULD have done when she fired the shit test at me??

    HB: Man up or don't drink so much!

    ME: Great.....you're fired!

    HB: Don't ask if you don't want the truth!

    ME: Wise words spoken like a true pro!! so what trouble are you getting yourself into today?

    ------> would this example have been a much better route to take the interaction???

  8. #8
    Sidewinder is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Tough Shit Test Response

    I can totally totally see how I screwed this up........bollocks.. ...hahahaha!!!

    well at least I now know and that's a big learning curve for me right there.....pick myself up and try again and again again till I nail it.....literally!

    Everyday is a school day!!

  9. #9
    ConnorMaxwell72 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Tough Shit Test Response

    Honestly, I don't like putting up with someone who's that bitchy. To me, your investment has to be equal for it to be rewarding. If I'm literally putting in all the effort just for an F-close, then what? What if it sucks? You've waited your time.

    That's why I typically don't entertain b!tch shields. The investment doesn't seem worth it to me. I also feel like it's a waste of time for her, because really, no one's getting what they want when she's nasty to every guy she meets. lol

  10. #10
    artandale's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tough Shit Test Response

    Its a waste of time if you want an easy answer with no real effort. Every oppurtunity you have talking to a girl should be a lesson learned and a closer step to being a better communicator. Don't chicken out
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.


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