Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 9 of 9
Like Tree3Likes
  • 2 Post By ConnorMaxwell72
  • 1 Post By T-Mal

Thread: Got her phone but she doesn't answer

  1. #1
    blue_dragon is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 80, Level: 1
    Level completed: 60%, Points required for next Level: 20
    Overall activity: 44.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    5
    Points
    80
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Got her phone but she doesn't answer

    Hello guys,

    I met a mid-30s woman in a office building. Officially she has no BF but she probably has some guys on her list. Everything was going fine, we built some comfort, I am certain she was interested in me (compliance, eye contact, mirroring, laughing hard to all my C&F statements, getting touchy). I asked her out for a lunch but she replied to me she'd prefer to go for a drink. I said "hmmm, we'll see...if you're a good girl". I saw no urge on dating her since we met very casually at the beginning and we were on a work place.

    After three weeks of casual meetings at the coffee machine and (short) chat sessions on the network, I asked her number, she threw a shit test at me : she gave me her e-mail only.
    I told her "Hey, that's not cool. You know I want to ask you out for a drink, and you also know a phone number is pretty much more practical to set this up". Then she sent me her phone number right away.

    I tried to call her three times. 4 days after she gave me her number. No answer. On the third call I left a message saying to "keep in touch" and I just felt like sh*t.

    By the way now I have no way to get physically in contact with her since I am working far from her building right now.

    What do you think about her attitude ?
    Is there any way to turn the tables ?

    Thank you for your answers.

  2. #2
    ConnorMaxwell72 is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 585, Level: 11
    Level completed: 70%, Points required for next Level: 15
    Overall activity: 99.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered500 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    New York, NY
    Posts
    74
    Points
    585
    Level
    11
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Rep Power
    30

    Default Re: Gor her phone but she doesn't answer

    Well, if she hasn't contacted you back, that usually means you blew the momentum. She seemed into you, but you waited too long to initiate anything and her immediate feelings for you dissipated. You also beta'd yourself a bit, and she may figured you weren't dating material because you didn't capitalize your chances. Check it:


    Quote Originally Posted by blue_dragon View Post
    I saw no urge on dating her since we met very casually at the beginning and we were on a work place.
    Exactly what I was talking about. You were acting too "slow". You saw no urgency in it. You said she was giving you ioi's and you deliberately tried to play it "too cool". PUA's escalate, not simmer. That was your chance to escalate.

    Quote Originally Posted by blue_dragon View Post

    I asked her out for a lunch but she replied to me she'd prefer to go for a drink. I said "hmmm, we'll see...if you're a good girl".
    You misread her. If she has a lot of "orbiters" ("guys on her list") she's probably not the type to want to go out to lunch. That's too... bland. Really, lunch is a date kind of thing. Women want excitement, they want fun, they want you to be unpredictable and take her out for a good time. They don't want a quiet lunch. That's too "tie-and-sweatervest" kind of beta crap... at least not at this stage.

    Also, you kind of belittled her when you were trying to be flirty. "If you're a good girl" is like when your daughter wanted to go out for ice cream. A better reply would have been:

    Her- "I prefer to go out for drinks"
    You- "Oh, so you're THAT kind of girl??" *give her a playfully surprised/disapproving look*

    This makes her want to qualify herself to you, builds intrigue. Capitalize on their over thinking things. "Why did he say it like that?" "Is that not his type of girl?" "Am I not good for him?" are all instinctual things that may start going through her head. Not "Wow, he just treated me like I was 4". (And also when she says "I prefer to go out for drinks", that was a MASSIVE clue into her that you over looked. That was your chance to really size her up and formulate your strategy).

    Quote Originally Posted by blue_dragon View Post
    I tried to call her three times. 4 days after she gave me her number. No answer. On the third call I left a message saying to "keep in touch" and I just felt like sh*t.
    Bro. You called her. Dude. Seriously? No one's done that since the 90's. It's too confrontational these days. You should have texted her. Texting is awesome because you can create a personal and intimate connection with someone in an abstract world that you create and control.

    You also disqualified yourself into beta-land by leaving a voice message "keep in touch". That's like you begging her to attention and crawling to her like "why don't you like me?!"

    An in control Alpha-Male would have had the mind set of "Fck her. Who cares what she thinks?" Showing it doesn't bother you is much more attractive than "why don't you like meeeeeeee?"

    You need to not be in physical contact. Do other things, move on with your life. When you eventually do see her, A: you'll have stories to talk about and B: You won't be needy and ask her permission to show her attention.

  3. #3
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,222, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Posting Award
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Southern Michigan USA
    Posts
    2,558
    Points
    31,222
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
    Rep Power
    1391

    Default Re: Gor her phone but she doesn't answer

    Guys make a big mistake by waiting too long to initiate contact after they get the number.

    4 days? That's definitely gonna work against you.

    Next time, TEXT her and do it right away.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  4. #4
    blue_dragon is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 80, Level: 1
    Level completed: 60%, Points required for next Level: 20
    Overall activity: 44.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    5
    Points
    80
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Got her phone but she doesn't answer

    Thank you for your replies guys.

    I really received a cold shower on this one. But lesson learned. Next time I won't try to play it "smart" (totally dumb actually) by waiting too long.

    As for now, I'm moving on, I have other options.

    And I will keep in mind your advises about texting.

  5. #5
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,840, Level: 44
    Level completed: 45%, Points required for next Level: 110
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    The frozen tundra. U.S.A.
    Posts
    595
    Points
    4,840
    Level
    44
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 24 Times in 22 Posts
    Rep Power
    228

    Default Re: Gor her phone but she doesn't answer

    Quote Originally Posted by ConnorMaxwell72 View Post
    Bro. You called her. Dude. Seriously? No one's done that since the 90's. It's too confrontational these days. You should have texted her. Texting is awesome because you can create a personal and intimate connection with someone in an abstract world that you create and control.
    .

    I like your whole post except for this. This guy is in his 30's so I'm going to assume this woman was over 25. She's grown up talking on the phone. Calling isn't blowing it.

    In fact I would argue that calling, especially these days, is extremely ballsy. Does it take ANY balls to text? No. In fact all the way up until about 2009 if you texted a girl to hang out you would be immediately nexted. I went through this many times. Calling was the only way to go otherwise you would come across as a pussy.

    If a girl is in her late twenties or older calling is still the way to go, because they're used to it and some still believe it's extremely spineless.

    If a girl is under the age of 25/26 texting is the way too go. They don't know HOW to talk on the phone. It confuses them and can freak them out.

    In fact many young people who are entering the workforce are losing their jobs because they can't communicate over the phone. It's becoming a real problem in the corporate world that will only get worse.

    I still call women under this age because it's the type of communication I prefer. Some don't like it, some LOVE it. I've had multiple women in their early twenties tell me how much they like it that I call. In fact they gush over it. "No one EVER calls me, especially guys! I REALLY like it!"

    When I get their number and they say "text me" I respond with "I don't like to text so I'll call you". This gets them ready for it so they aren't super surprised.

    If they get freaked out it's their problem. It's how I like to communicate so that's what I'm going to do. If they don't like it they can get lost. It doesn't matter to me. Do I lose out on some opportunities because of it with younger women? Yes I do.

  6. #6
    DeviantMethod's Avatar
    DeviantMethod is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 900, Level: 15
    Level completed: 50%, Points required for next Level: 100
    Overall activity: 35.0%
    Achievements:
    Social7 days registered500 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    133
    Points
    900
    Level
    15
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    45

    Default Re: Gor her phone but she doesn't answer

    All that attraction and build up is wasted if you don't go for the kill. You asserting your self quickly and boldly could actually separate you from the pack of guys hounding her. Next time go for it immediately. Worst case scenario you'd be unsuccessful. You've waited and missed your opportunity and your unsuccessful anyway. You really have nothing to lose. If you get another chance some how make sure you get the girl you want. good luck bro..
    NowYourFucked.tumblr .com/
    READ MY BLOG (farked is the 4 letter curse word)
    put it in correctly and follow me.

  7. #7
    Tongue is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 59, Level: 1
    Level completed: 18%, Points required for next Level: 41
    Overall activity: 80.0%
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    9
    Points
    59
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Gor her phone but she doesn't answer

    first of all there is nothing wrong with calling a woman in her 30s...i do it and they like it, most women love talking to you if they are remotely into you..

    as far as these guys saying you waited to long to escalate, it could be that or she just was not that into you..i have waited weeks to call women back and they ended up texting me, obviously they were into me so i was lucky..if she is attractive she probably has many other options so yeah u should act fast on there but again it goes back to how interested she was in you....you have to attract her in some way, make her remember you..

    so like i said you have to get a girl interested/attracted to you in a way where she will almost pursue you...hard to do of course but can be done..you cant act too interested or beta or needy but at the same time definitely let her know you want her..

    we could all be wrong though, she might be with switching between 5-6 other guys..hard to say...

  8. #8
    WillEdward's Avatar
    WillEdward is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 884, Level: 15
    Level completed: 84%, Points required for next Level: 16
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social500 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    294
    Points
    884
    Level
    15
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
    Rep Power
    51

    Default Re: Gor her phone but she doesn't answer

    Good job on building attraction with her before. You shouldn't have punished her compliance with a break in rapport when she agreed to go out with you by giving her that , even if she changed the activity from lunch to drinks. She was actually helping solve logistics for you by suggesting drinks. Drinks is far more better than lunch because it sets the right mood and you pull her more easily than just after lunch, when people usually get a little tired after a meal and may have errands to do later that day. You should have agreed to drinks and set up a time and date and then get her number by having her text you so you know you have right number and she is already investing in you through text. You should always text a girl first because she may be busy. You already called her 3 times AND left a voicemail and she didn't answer. You are heavily more invested and chasing in the interaction than she is. You are in recovery mode and best use of your time and energy is to see other girls. Best thing to do with her right now is to wait a couple weeks and send her a ping text on how's doing and get the ball rolling again. Do a few light and playful texts and then setup a date.
    Elevate Your Game | Check out my blog for lay reports, attraction and dancefloor game tips !

    willedward.com

  9. #9
    Blackbird's Avatar
    Blackbird is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 3,686, Level: 38
    Level completed: 24%, Points required for next Level: 114
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    Western Burbs of IL
    Posts
    95
    Points
    3,686
    Level
    38
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 8 Times in 7 Posts
    Rep Power
    154

    Default Re: Gor her phone but she doesn't answer

    Quote Originally Posted by DirectIsBest View Post
    I like your whole post except for this. This guy is in his 30's so I'm going to assume this woman was over 25. She's grown up talking on the phone. Calling isn't blowing it.
    I agree that calling isn't blowing it, but I do disagree with your timeline a bit. And bear in mind, those of you reading this in the year 2030, that these numbers will increase by 1 every year.

    I got my first cell phone when I was 19 or so. Actually, I had my dad's old bag-phone since I was 16, but it was just kept in the car for emergencies, so that doesn't really count. I think it's rude when people call me without texting and asking first. It's like an intrusion into your day. Even my parents now text me first. Even the 50 year old lady at work who's a friend of mine texts me (she likes to hear my pickup stories and finds them amusing).

    I'm 37, but maybe I was a couple years ahead of most in terms of getting a cell phone.

    So I'd say anybody under 35, text first. If you prefer talking on the phone, that's totally fine, but I'd still say to text first with a message like, "Hey, do you have a minute?" It's vague enough that she could just be expecting to text with you, but then you can spring the call on her if you feel like it. That's what I do with everybody. My sister, the old lady at work, girlfriends, friends, pretty much everybody.

    I do have one friend in his mid-20's. And he calls me out of the blue. I admire that because it DOES show that he has balls and doesn't give a shit. It also gives the appearance that he's busy, which is reinforced by the fact that his calls with me are seldom over 4 minutes long, which is another concern for those of us with unlimited text, but only so many minutes per month.

    Anyway, depending on her cell phone plan, it could be a massive turn off if she has to spend 10 cents a minute to talk to you because her allotted minutes are used up. Or, for the younger girls, they're probably on a group plan because it's way cheaper and maybe she doesn't want her parents prying into who all those calls are from or where all those minutes are going. Personally, my plan gives me 100 minutes a month. I usually use 200, but it's still cheaper to pay 10 cents a minute for the overage, rather than upgrade to the next highest plan. But for that reason, I do hate long telephone conversations. Besides, the point is to set up a face to face meeting, not become phone buddies.
    Hypnotist, NLP geek. I've done: Tao of Badass, Hacking Attraction, How To Date Multiple Women (Pellicer's stuff), Get the Girl, How to Talk to Hot Women, No Strings Attached (Mehow's stuff), and now I'm getting into RSD's stuff. I don't go out a lot, but I kill it when challenged


Similar Threads

  1. Shows interest and makes plans, then wont answer her phone?
    By jstorm1140 in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 04-28-2014, 12:15 AM
  2. if you can answer this please do...
    By ItsRaySuper in forum General Questions
    Replies: 5
    Last Thread: 07-12-2013, 03:45 PM
  3. How should I answer?
    By PUAmath in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 10-03-2011, 07:27 PM
  4. how to answer this
    By bantaro in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 08-10-2010, 02:15 AM
  5. What would you answer ;)
    By Ziegler-DK in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 5
    Last Thread: 06-19-2010, 06:02 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com