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Thread: What if your pretty much broke!

  1. #1
    bsanders51 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default What if your pretty much broke!

    What if you want to get a woman and your pretty much broke and just feel like you can't spend much on them because of what you owe and how much money you make? How do you get around that one?

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    Default Re: What if your pretty much broke!

    With ease, my friend! With ease...

    LOL. I'd say I spend 1/3rd of what my gf's spend on me. Although I got "negged" the last time I said this, probably by some dude who hates the thought that his money doesn't mean shit, the truth is this: she doesn't want you for your money. She wants you because you create great times with her.

    First, try honesty once in awhile. "I'd love to do this with you, but it's expensive, but man, it'd be so much fun. It'd be cool if we could split the cost to make it happen..." The key is, you are getting her "on your side". You aren't a guy trying to ask a girl on a date, you're a dude with a wicked awesome plan and she just needs to help pay the fare. I did this about a week ago and am taking a girl out on a $700 black-tie date. And she's paying half because it'll be fun to dress up and play imaginary-rich for a night. And guess what... anybody looking at the pics won't be able to tell who paid for what! There's no shame in it, ESPECIALLY when what you're proposing is clearly a financial stretch for a normal person. You think I do $700 dates regularly? No way! But we each have a couple hundred we could throw around, so we're doing it... together. And she's just as psyched about it as I am! "It's gonna be like prom!" she said, "Only without all the awkward bad dancing!" "This sounds like fun!" she said.

    Second, be a half-price baller. During a date, never let a girl think that you care about money. In fact, always make a point to splurge on something ridiculous and memorable. That way, you are creating a memory, just like when her daddy paid for the pony ride at the state fair or whatever... You then become a provider. So yeah, she wants that horsey ride, so you give it to her. But do you think her daddy brought her there in a limo? Or took her out to a fancy restaurant afterwards? Probably not (unless she's some really high-class upper crust type... in which case money is even LESS of an object to her and she'll probably be even MORE willing to pay for things). So you spend money where it matters and cheap out everywhere else. Who cares?

    Third, never underestimate the power of "hanging out". "Dates" are for AFC's. Just be likem "I wanna go do this. Wanna come along?? When she says yes, you say ok, "I've got dinner, you pay for drinks after." or whatever. You set it up from the start as a non-date, with equal participation, but at the same time, aren't freaking out about splitting a bill or whatever.

    Most quality chicks who are really into you won't think twice about this. They're used to splitting bills with friends and whatnot. It's perfectly normal. And it also disarms them in a way because then it doesn't seem so much like a date. Not that I make any moves on married women or anything, but when I like a girl who happens to be married or have a serious bf, I use this technique every time, as a precaution, to be able to hang out with her while specifically avoiding the appearance that it's a date in any way shape or form. It's probably the key to GETTING those taken women to go out with me... of course, I only do this for innocent purposes, like building friendships and such... but the point is, I use it to get a girl to feel more comfortable around me... like I'm clearly NOT trying to have a date, but simply have a good time with a cool girl. Expecting her to pay her own way (or, even better, "splitting" the cost by having you pay for one part of the night while they pay for the other) makes for good friendships, good relationships, and comfortable easy social interactions with them down the road.

    One final tip... be GENEROUS when it comes to the little stuff. This sets a precedent in the relationship. If you think nothing about being the one to pick up the bottle of booze this weekend, then it'll seem pretty normal when next weekend you tell her "Hey stop by, but bring a bottle over..." because you've already gotten into the "we're not counting pennies here" groove with her.
    Hypnotist, NLP geek. I've done: Tao of Badass, Hacking Attraction, How To Date Multiple Women (Pellicer's stuff), Get the Girl, How to Talk to Hot Women, No Strings Attached (Mehow's stuff), and now I'm getting into RSD's stuff. I don't go out a lot, but I kill it when challenged

  3. #3
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What if your pretty much broke!

    Bsanders - as an Italian guy, I was raised with the idea that if you take a girl out you pay, because it's what a well put together man does. I'm lucky that at this point in my life money is not an issue. When I was younger it sure as hell was difficult but if you look around and do some research you will find lots of things that cost nothing or very little. I'm in Manhattan and it's an expensive city, but walking in Central Park is free, going down to a Noodle shop in Chinatown is cheap, grabbing a slice of pizza in Little Italy is cheap, there are free museums, I know a little Kebab house that lunch for two is like $12, a roller skating rink where three hours of skating is $9 a person and $7 if you bring your own skates, ..... the point is look around, you'll find things to do that fit your budget ..... of course there will come a time in your life when hopefully money won't be an issue ... when that time comes just make sure you spend your money on girls who deserve it .... GL

  4. #4
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What if your pretty much broke!

    For me personally, and I am in the same situation at the moment(ie very little money), I would not look for a serious relationship. Just go out and have fun.

    The other thing is that you don't want to go out on "dates." In other words don't frame them as dates but rather just the two of you going out and doing something fun and getting to know eachother. Don't do dinners, movies, concerts or anything that will cost you more than a few dollars. There are ways to weed out gold diggers. In my opinion any woman who expects a man to pay on the first meeting is at least a little bit of a gold digger. It's considered standard for the man to pay but I call bs on that. You barely know her and don't owe her anything. This is the twentieth century. On the opposite side of the coin you can wind up looking cheap if you don't pay so really the only solution is to avoid anything that is expensive right away. You could also say something like "hmmmmm, I bet your the kind of woman who expects a man to pay for everything...I know your kind." This way you test her to see who she really is and what her values are without actually accusing her of anything. It's of course done in a very playful teasing kind of way.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: What if your pretty much broke!

    Psst... hey Mystik... it's now the 21st century, bud!

    If you really want to get over feeling weird about not paying for dates, there's nothing better than getting into the habit of going dutch with your female friends. In fact, you probably already do this. I have an HB9 for a friend at work. For awhile, we were a little unseparable. We used to hang out all the time. She had a side job as a bartender. So guess who was in charge of supplying all of my drinks. It was a socially functional friendship. She gets half her drinks comped, so why would I go up and pay full price all the time? Over time, as we spent more time together, it became a perfectly fluid thing, "Hey let's order lunch. Oh you don't have money? Alright, I got this. What do you want?" And vice versa. In fact, it became so normal, that I started modeling my other prospective female relationships on this model where I assume we're just friends, so naturally, I'm going to ask you to pay for your half.

    In a way, this is actually an awesome, wickedly subtle, "neg" if you think about it. "Oh. I'm sorry. You though you were pretty and cool enough that I wanted to take you out on a date? No... I'm just thinking you're maybe cool enough to hang out with me, that's all..."
    Hypnotist, NLP geek. I've done: Tao of Badass, Hacking Attraction, How To Date Multiple Women (Pellicer's stuff), Get the Girl, How to Talk to Hot Women, No Strings Attached (Mehow's stuff), and now I'm getting into RSD's stuff. I don't go out a lot, but I kill it when challenged

  6. #6
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What if your pretty much broke!

    [Psst... hey Mystik... it's now the 21st century, bud!]

    You don't have to tell me. It's everyone else who seems to be living in the past.

    Seriously most guys seem to be stuck on the idea that they have to pay for their dates simply because they are the men and they are expected to. I might be missing out on some great girls but more importantly I'll be saving a lot of money(and time on women who are only in it for the free ride and in the long run it probably wouldn't work out with them anyway since I prefer women who are independent and not looking for me to be their provider).

  7. #7
    Blackbird's Avatar
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    Default Re: What if your pretty much broke!

    I agree. It wasn't till I was in my mid thirties that I really realized clearly what a bunch of crap that is. I mean, I'd been paying for "dates" with girls I wasn't even trying to sleep with, simply because I was the man and so it was expected. WTF.... When I got over that, things started to work a lot better for me.

    In general, and just off the top of my head, the rules work like this: If you're married, engaged, or have some serious bf, then we're going to split costs because anything else makes it look like I'm trying to steal you away, and that's not my intention. So, sorry babe, you tell me you have a boyfriend? Then we're going dutch. It's for your own benefit, you see.

    Money is a funny thing. It's got value, obviously, but it's also rather amorphous. There have been HB10's in my life, who had bf's, but did such awesome things for me, wing-girl style, that I'd buy them stuff.. I'd buy them lunch, I'd get them drinks... because the things they did for me were just out-of-the-park! I once had a guy talking behind my back about what a chode I was. I didn't even hear the conversation. All I knew was that this HB10 friend of mine randomly came up to me in his vicinity and said, "Hey Benny? Can you walk me to my car? It's dark out there and I don't want to be alone..." At the time, I didn't even know why she said that, I thought it was kinda weird. Later, I learned that she was doing it to diss that guy who was right there and had been talking smack about me. That girl got a few free lunches... one for what she did, and a few others because I knew she would do it for me again. That's the kind of shit I want to reward. Never hesitate to pay for a girl who is BEING a 10 for you. That doesn't mean that you should pay for girls who are 10's... it means pay for the girls who are being 10's towards YOU. See the difference there? And one of those girls, honestly, a couple of months ago, I was going through a brutally dark time in my life. I was just miserable and scared. And I hit her up. Yes, she's now engaged to her bf, no we never hooked up, I was just having a shitty time and needed someone to talk to. And guess what. Once again, she was a perfect 10 for me. She helped me out, gave me a shoulder to lean on. Even years later. You know? She's a real friend. I'd buy her a hundred lunches if I could...

    Another time, another dude didn't think I was all that cool, was saying shit. Again, it was behind my back. This girl called me over, explained that she had gotten hit by a softball on the inner thigh, and asked if I'd tell her if I thought the bruise was bad. And this girl was gorgeous. And she's asking me to rub her inner thigh... in public.

    Most PUA's have their idea of what a 10 is. But I have my own. Does she ask you to rub her inner thigh to check out a bruise? Or seek you out to have you walk her to her car? If not, she's not a 10 for you.. she's just another pretty girl who may, or may not be worthy of your affections. But the ones who are 10's to me have earned my respect. They've earned my respect if they want to sleep with me, and they've earned my respect if they want to go off and marry someone else. I don't care. I only want them to be happy because I'm entirely appreciative for what they've added to my life. It's not all about just getting a notch on the bedpost, guys. Sometimes it's about the ones who help you get to wherever you're trying to be.
    Hypnotist, NLP geek. I've done: Tao of Badass, Hacking Attraction, How To Date Multiple Women (Pellicer's stuff), Get the Girl, How to Talk to Hot Women, No Strings Attached (Mehow's stuff), and now I'm getting into RSD's stuff. I don't go out a lot, but I kill it when challenged

  8. #8
    DSAN1 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: What if your pretty much broke!

    Because I'm sure that Frank Sinatra always asked girls to go dutch LOL. If that works for you guys great, but I'm not going to have a girl think I'm cheap because I don't want to spend a few bucks taking them out. I've got a good job and I can, if you can't or don't want to then go dutch. Do what works for you

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    Default Re: What if your pretty much broke!

    What if you want to get a woman and your pretty much broke and just feel like you can't spend much on them because of what you owe and how much money you make? How do you get around that one?
    first off who cares if she thinks you're cheap? or better yet who has time to worry about what any woman thinks?

    here's 3 solutions to have good dates during times of financial ruin:

    1. budget: as in, actually keep track of everything you spend a dime on, and find places where you can save money and thus have money to go on dates. (yes you may have to make some sacrifices to have money especially if you're on a low income)

    2. split the bill: anyone who pays for everything because of antiquated ideals of courtship is just asking to be taken advantage of.

    3. cheap dates: go around town and find the cheapest places that are still chill. even free dates can be the most amazing ones. sometimes a walk in the woods can be 10 times more effective than a fancy dinner (and what girl doesn't love connecting with nature while being bent over a rock on a hiking trail lol ) dinner and movie dates have been well over-used, think outside the box and take her places no other guys have (and fortunately many "outside the box" date ideas are also fairly cheap) instead of taking her to a movie, try having her to your place to watch funny youtube videos. instead of taking her to a fancy dinner, get sandwiches from a deli and go have a picnic at the park. instead of going to a bar, get a bottle of cheap wine and go star gazing. be creative and save money at the same time.
    don't ever let anyone tell you dates have to be expensive. sometimes the cheapest dates are the most amazing ones.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: What if your pretty much broke!

    Quote Originally Posted by DSAN1 View Post
    Because I'm sure that Frank Sinatra always asked girls to go dutch LOL. If that works for you guys great, but I'm not going to have a girl think I'm cheap because I don't want to spend a few bucks taking them out. I've got a good job and I can, if you can't or don't want to then go dutch. Do what works for you
    Well, to be fair, Frank Sinatra didn't have my game skills. He was simply a famous musician. I'm sure I'd get laid too if I was a famous musician. But this isn't musicianpickupforum. It's puaforum.com It's about pick up. So if that's not an aspect of game you're comfortable with, that's cool. I'm not a fan of some of the other techniques people teach, so I can respect the differences.

    But no, going dutch doesn't make you cheap. As I said, it's actually a subtle neg on the girl. And besides, it allows me to save money for my new racecar. Racecars are farking expensive! More expensive than most girls, even...
    Hypnotist, NLP geek. I've done: Tao of Badass, Hacking Attraction, How To Date Multiple Women (Pellicer's stuff), Get the Girl, How to Talk to Hot Women, No Strings Attached (Mehow's stuff), and now I'm getting into RSD's stuff. I don't go out a lot, but I kill it when challenged


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