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Thread: she says she doesn't want relationships anymore. what do I do?

  1. #1
    Cement is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Unhappy she says she doesn't want relationships anymore. what do I do?

    There's this particular girl I met two years ago. She gave me here numbers and we took it from there. One year into the chatting and the calling I told her how I really feel about her and she immediatly told me that she has a boyfriend, I didn't panic all I did was use the boyfriend destroyer. A week back I called her just to check up on her and only to find that she was sad and told me that she just broke up with her boyfriend. I remindered her about my feelings for her but then she tells me that she is done with relationships now and all she wants is just to focus on her life. Please tell me what to do because completely out of ideas!

  2. #2
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: she says she doesn't want relationships anymore. what do I do?

    Give her time, she is just getting over the ending of her relationship and it could have been a bad break up for all you know. Telling her about your feelings again was premature, you should have just said you were sorry and that you hoped she was OK. Give her a few weeks, then contact her again to see how she is doing .... when you get the sign that she is OK, it's game on

  3. #3
    Cement is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: she says she doesn't want relationships anymore. what do I do?

    Well as I talk to her she seems and claims to be okay. Should I just stop talking to her?

  4. #4
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: she says she doesn't want relationships anymore. what do I do?

    NO ..... just ease into it and feel her out ... if she gives you positive signals like laughing at sexual innuendo jokes then just go for it … Just do me a favor, NEVER tell girls you have feelings for them unless you are in a relationship. When you do that it puts them on a pedestal and you don’t want that. Also don’t get caught in the trap of being the "ear" for her to tell you all about her past relationship. It’s a sure way of becoming the “friend”. When girls try to pull that shit with me, I tell them “you can talk to me about your ex for 5 mins, after that we are going to have fun” ... GL

  5. #5
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    Default Re: she says she doesn't want relationships anymore. what do I do?

    You spent a year in the friend zone, & then suddenly hit her with "I have feelings for you..."

    You need to gradually work your way out of that zone, by flirting & being patient, yet persistent.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  6. #6
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: she says she doesn't want relationships anymore. what do I do?

    i'l tell you one thing's for sure, you can't escape the friendzone by telling a girl you "have feelings for her".

    in my mind, there is only one good way to escape the friendzone.

    this three step process:

    1. break contact (doesn't mean you have to completely stop talking, but it does mean you have to give her space, and more importantly you have to stop idolizing her during this time)

    2. self improve (think of it like training for a fight) you need to get your sh!t together in every way possible. that includes: working out, improving your financial situation, having some success with other women, eating right, gaining confidence, having a greater sense of self worth, making more friends, and having some cool experiences you can talk about.

    3. reinitiate contact (only do this after you have improved yourself in a noticeable way) the key is that you need to be 100 percent non-needy. demonstrate your newfound value, and take things from there.

    you're real problem is that you're too attached to an outcome with this girl. you need to take a step back and learn to not get attached prematurely.

  7. #7
    Cement is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: she says she doesn't want relationships anymore. what do I do?

    She just sent me a text message now saying that she'd rather be friends for now but I just ignored it because I actually don't know how to respond to it.

  8. #8
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: she says she doesn't want relationships anymore. what do I do?

    She just sent me a text message now saying that she'd rather be friends for now but I just ignored it because I actually don't know how to respond to it.
    here's how I'd respond to that

    " that's nice. "

    often simpler is better. now you need to either forget about her or follow the three step process I outlined in my above post.

    good luck.

  9. #9
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: she says she doesn't want relationships anymore. what do I do?

    I think "that's nice" is a great response because it clearly shows you don't care but as the Dalai Llama says "Sometimes silence is the best answer" .... it's a good lesson that if you don't know how to respond keep your mouth shut and think about it or come here and ask for some input

  10. #10
    goodbetterbest is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: she says she doesn't want relationships anymore. what do I do?

    Her telling you she doesn't want a relationship right now is her nice way of telling you she doesn't want a relationship with you. It's a bitter pill to swallow because you've invested a lot of time and emotional capital into her. The time you are wasting trying to figure out how to get back a woman you never had would be better used working on yourself.
    Good, better, best, never let it rest, until your good is better and your better is best.


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