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  1. #1
    BrianPagan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Going out alone - nothing happens

    Hi,

    I am having trouble going out alone. I have zero conversations when i go out alone, I don't know what's going on because when i'm with somebody then it is so easy to socialize with people, I have the best time everytime I have a friend with when I go out. I want to learn the skill of being able to find have many conversations with different people when I go to a place where I dont know anybody.

    Anybody had the same experience? What were your solutions?

    Cheers

  2. #2
    Blackbird's Avatar
    Blackbird is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Going out alone - nothing happens

    Go to quieter places where it's easier to talk. If you try walking up to a group of people in a club and get into their little group, it's going to feel awkward as hell, because they can't hear a damn thing you say.

    Start off sitting between two groups of people because it doubles your chances right off the bat and there's often an empty seat between them anyway. Also, depending on how they're seated, or how well you can open them, it might actually appear to some that you are a linchpin between the 2 groups - bam!

    Try to sit somewhere that is more brightly lit, so people can see you clearly from across the room (this puts a little pressure on you as well). It also gets them used to seeing you. After 10 minutes under that spotlight, you're someone they are familiar with, rather than a complete stranger lurking in the dark shadows and coming out of nowhere.

    Walk around the room before sitting down. This gives you time to choose your seat. During this time, make a point to make eye contact with several people and even give a nod or a slight wave to a few of them without approaching. It'll help make you look like you belong there and soften your approach later on if you decide to walk over.

    If you're new to a place, sit near where the servers/bartenders are coming in and out. You can say a few things to each of them. They are paid to be polite. Don't waste their time, but make sure that they all know you're there and don't think you're a total creep. This can pay off down the line when they approach you first amongst a group of strangers.

    Tip well. Find one waitress, give her $20, and tell her to keep (whatever you're drinking) coming. You can even tell her you're a bit of a lightweight and ask her to make them a bit on the weaker side for you (most places I go to will only charge you for every other one, in that case. Another option is to tell her to alternate between, say, a rum and coke, and a coke with just a tiny splash of rum. That will keep their bar tab on you easier - you'll get a slightly weak one at regular price, followed by a complimentary "splash" on the next. Say you just want the splash to give it the "flavor"). That way, you can finish more of them, and have her coming and "taking care of you" all night without ever having to stand in a line looking like a chump. Just make sure she's going to be there all night long. (Note: this trick KILLS at open bars where the line is 10 people deep all night... but some waitress comes and delivers your drink in front of everyone else, before yours is even empty!). Suddenly, everyone's wondering why you're getting special treatment. Another hint on this trick: If you're with a group of guys, same concept, except all 6 of you throw in $10, you tell the waitress to remember all of your faces. And bam, she's already $60 richer. You've pretty much made her night instantly profitable. You'll never have to tip her again, but yet the drinks will keep magically flowing towards you. And by sticking with the same drinks every time, you make her job a lot easier as well!

    Open up a couple of guys while walking past with a simple, "Hey! You seem like a cool dude! What's your name? I'm so-and-so. Cool seeing you here, man!" Then just walk away. No risk of rejection, but the dude will remember you and probably be cool towards you for the rest of the night (social proof).

    Ummm... do I really need to give you more ideas? Or is that enough?
    Hypnotist, NLP geek. I've done: Tao of Badass, Hacking Attraction, How To Date Multiple Women (Pellicer's stuff), Get the Girl, How to Talk to Hot Women, No Strings Attached (Mehow's stuff), and now I'm getting into RSD's stuff. I don't go out a lot, but I kill it when challenged

  3. #3
    Zandor is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Going out alone - nothing happens

    How's it going man

    I saw your message and went through the whole registration process to respond to your post.
    Indeed Going out alone can seem uneventful, but my guess is that you are doing it wrong.

    I think of Pick Up Artistry (The Game) as a game of Baseball. Baseball is a slow moving game. The average game length in the MLB is 3 hours. then when you add in time warming up and cooling down its about 5 hours for the players or more. Like the writer of the Mystery Method wrote in his book. you should aim to go out for 5 hours. But dont go too hard though man. 5 hours? you could be on some good shit and that aint even gonna make you feel like going hard for 5 hours. So remember, take it slow, like a game of baseball.

    Now I think of going out alone as an playing an outfielder position. In baseball outfielders cannot zone out. they might have 2 innings of no action and then suddenly, 30 minutes into the 3rd inning, 30 minutes of standing in the sweltering sun, the ball gets hit out to them. Now at this point the whole crowd is watching them. this is their moment. The have to catch that ball and know exactly what to do with it. and in a fraction of a second. A good outfielder knows how fast the ball is coming at him, what angle it is coming at, where the ball needs to go, how much effort and energy he was to put in to get it there. All in a fraction of a second. The outfielder lives for this moment. His heart rate doubles at the drop of a hat. Everyone is watching him! will he get the job done?

    The Outfielder of the bar/club is the same. you sit and wait and wait. for that girl to come your way. and BAM it happens. now, you must calculate i;n the fraction of a second what her attitude is, how attractive is she on a 1 to 10 scale, you gotta read the field and know what's going on around you . All in a fraction of a second you have to know what to do to get her where you want her to go. This is what you came out for and you've been waiting for it for 45 minutes in a smokey club in itchy clothes. Can you do it? The crowd is watching you.


    Now, you gotta find your nitch man. These days I am an outfielder too. its a slow game to begin with, and playin the outfield and sitting around for long periods of time waiting on your toes for that moment is hard. So you gotta ask your self. Am I really an outfielder?

    I am guessing you live alone, as do I. So heres some tips to help you play outfield.

    5 hour sets. like I mentioned, the pros are practicing everyday for 5 hour game days.

    breaking it down

    hour 1: Warm Up
    take an hour to walk around the strip. talk to waitress at slow pace cafes and restaurants. try'n get their number for practice, but dont get too attached. Go talk to girls at shops and fashion boutiques. tell them your shopping for your sister and ask around but dont buy anything cause your sister is not going to like it. its not her taste. remember to ask them if they are going out after work. if they are then great you'll tryn see them later so get their number

    Hours 2 - 4: The Game
    All right now you are out. you are warmed up. you are alert. you are ready for anything that comes at you. and it will come at you eventually. If you are playing outfielder going out by yourself then you gotta be able to make friends on the spot, network, get to know other loners that are out and groups of guys girls and people. Do stress yourself out over this part, unless thats your thing then go ahead. Gay guys make great friends because the have lots of girlfriends and are typically very polite and want their friends to be happy. If they accidentally fall in love you, then just kept leading them on and keep them wonder. do turn them down. they will be one of your most powerful friends to have. But most importantly remember, that moment you came out for is coming, don't lose focus. stay alert and ready.

    Game tips

    -move around the area, play 9 innings. take a break and check out the starbucks down the street, check out the subway. chat it up with the cab drivers and door guys. But not too chatty. Remember not to lose focus.

    -expand your horizons beyond the bar. if you go down the street for a break and there's a single cutie there eating subway by herself and you get the feeling she needs a friend, then you gotta be able to read the situation and go for it. Maybe there is a girl taking a cig break i dont care what the situation is, you are on your break but still in the game and you gotta be ready for it.

    Hour 5: Cool Down
    Cool down man. before you go home take an hour to breathe and make some last minute phone calls to see if any of the hot mamas you met want to get together last minute. you wont seem desperate, they know its a game, just try and be smooth. at this point calls are more powerful than texts. and yes i know it takes more courage to make a phone call than a text, but its worth it.

    Now, after considering all of this you have to ask yourself, "am i really an outfielder?" maybe going out with friends and playing an in fielder role with them will end up being more your thing. if you wanna play an in fielder role, then I suggest moving to an apartment or living situation where you are around more friends. Join a frat or ask people who are local that look cool where they are living and if they party. Don't be afraid to knock on your neighbors door if he is having a party, just bring him a nice bottle of booze to share with everyone. These are infielder tips.

    Mystery was more of an infielder in my eyes. he loved going out with the boys. for me, James Dean, and other outfielders. we just enjoy living in solitude. I like it quite when I sleep. I like getting things done with no distractions during the day. Because I live in solitude it is necessary for me as an outside to learn the roles of an outfielder. you are gonna have to come to your own conclusion on that one. there is a lot of opportunity for a guy like you to live with friends in a great party community if thats what you need. Look at Florida, theres apartments going up everywhere and filling up with young adults who like to party.

    Good Luck brother

    Zander


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