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  1. #1
    PT-Swagger Guest

    Default WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!!

    this is something that has been bothering me. I know i am an attractive male but at times women who find me attractive will begin to talk to me and that is when they slowly lose attraction for me. Im a funny guy so i think at times i might be too goofy so they realize im not "that guy" they thought. but even when ive tried stopping with the jokes the same thing happens. im really not sure what im doing or what im not doing.

    what is it? any input will help, this is really buggin me.

  2. #2
    Instinct Guest

    Default Re: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!!

    Quote Originally Posted by PT-Swagger View Post
    this is something that has been bothering me. I know i am an attractive male but at times women who find me attractive will begin to talk to me and that is when they slowly lose attraction for me. Im a funny guy so i think at times i might be too goofy so they realize im not "that guy" they thought. but even when ive tried stopping with the jokes the same thing happens. im really not sure what im doing or what im not doing.

    what is it? any input will help, this is really buggin me.
    Ok give me 3 detailed scenarios where this happened, the first 3 that pop in your head.

  3. #3
    PT-Swagger Guest

    Default Re: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!!

    1. I went to a bar with roommates, my roommate introduced me to his friends 2 of which were females, 1 of them was given me googly eyes since i got there after we were introduced we talked for a min, cant remember about what, except that i was smiling alot ( i tend to do that when i talk to a girl i like alot). after that we separated in the bar and every interaction after that didnt feel the same.

    2. meet a cutie playing pick up soccer, as soon as i hoped on the field she literally wouldnt stop lookin at me, it was almost borderline rude how hard she was staring (i had my shirt off, that helped) i walked slowly to her smiled slightly she then gave a big smile i asked what team she was on. we were on same team then she introduced herself, she was there with a guy so i didnt know if it was her bf so i didnt talk to her much. then a few days l8r i randomly met her at my church we sat next to each other, afterwards we went outside and we talked about random stuff she was always lookin down and fiddling with her keys, she would later say she is waiting on a friend to pick her up. i think this was a hint, i prob. shoulda asked her to goto lunch because theres a pita pit and subway around the corner, but i left, i didnt even ask for a number. next time i saw her at the field she was distant.

    3. i was at a club at the bar a chick came next to me and said hey, we talked lightly. the drinks were free so i got her and i a drink we talked a lil more, we exchanged names, then i told her im goin to the dance floor and i left, didnt get her number. i saw her l8r that night and grabed her hand to lead her to the dance floor she said she didnt want to dance, so i said ok and that was that.

  4. #4
    Instinct Guest

    Default Re: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!!

    Quote Originally Posted by PT-Swagger View Post
    1. I went to a bar with roommates, my roommate introduced me to his friends 2 of which were females, 1 of them was given me googly eyes since i got there after we were introduced we talked for a min, cant remember about what, except that i was smiling alot ( i tend to do that when i talk to a girl i like alot). after that we separated in the bar and every interaction after that didnt feel the same.

    2. meet a cutie playing pick up soccer, as soon as i hoped on the field she literally wouldnt stop lookin at me, it was almost borderline rude how hard she was staring (i had my shirt off, that helped) i walked slowly to her smiled slightly she then gave a big smile i asked what team she was on. we were on same team then she introduced herself, she was there with a guy so i didnt know if it was her bf so i didnt talk to her much. then a few days l8r i randomly met her at my church we sat next to each other, afterwards we went outside and we talked about random stuff she was always lookin down and fiddling with her keys, she would later say she is waiting on a friend to pick her up. i think this was a hint, i prob. shoulda asked her to goto lunch because theres a pita pit and subway around the corner, but i left, i didnt even ask for a number. next time i saw her at the field she was distant.

    3. i was at a club at the bar a chick came next to me and said hey, we talked lightly. the drinks were free so i got her and i a drink we talked a lil more, we exchanged names, then i told her im goin to the dance floor and i left, didnt get her number. i saw her l8r that night and grabed her hand to lead her to the dance floor she said she didnt want to dance, so i said ok and that was that.
    Ok, it sounds like you are attracting women, but you arent using the initial attraction to a) present your own value, b) challenge them, and c) (isnt this just a plus b) create sexual Tension. So how do we do these things? We go get a pick up book and read it.

    Ask Bill which is the best, he knows the people in the industry way better than I do and can give you one that fits you better than I can.

  5. #5
    Instinct Guest

    Default Re: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!!

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-flirt/2...r-negging.html <-- this might help a bit, but you will need some real studying, or practice or whatever, I would say, find a natural who is a real player. Read a book, and spend 2-3 weeks doing everything in the book 4 nights a week. Then start doing 3 nights a week alone, and then 1 night a week just watching the natural. Saying hmm, that is what I was trying to do, that is what that looks like and so on.

    This is what I did.

  6. #6
    Bill Preston's Avatar
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    Default Re: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!!

    PT - what is your 'strategy' when talking to women?

    It sounds like you need a step by step 'roadmap' from the moment you say hi, until the moment you know she is into you (from there it is easy).

    What is happening is that you must be a good looking guy, but as I keep telling people that will only get you the first 30 seconds or so, then if you don't have more she is disappointed.

    What is good as that a not so HOT guy, if he can get past the first 30 seconds, he has every bit of a chance as the good looking guy.

    I am actually making something to help with this exact scenario.... but until that time - be sure to listen to these blog posts:

    Instant Attraction & Bombing Runs | Pick Up Artist Forum Blog
    Temperature Check Questions | Pick Up Artist Forum Blog

    Reminds me of this guy who was at a boot camp last year. He was a great looking guy, but he didn't know the basics of getting a women engaged in a conversation, and how to escalate the sexual tension and what not. Within about 6 hours of Nick, Christian and myself showing him a few things... he was just killing it. I remember the three of us were having a beer, and we looked over and he was sitting in the middle of 6 girls.. all of them were trying to get his attention and leaning in to him and I looked at Nick and was like, welp - he doesn't need us anymore.. LOL.

    So with that said, you situation is easy to fix - you just need the right tools.

    BP
    Last edited by Bill Preston; 02-18-2010 at 03:24 PM.

  7. #7
    TheresNothingToIt Guest

    Default Re: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!!

    Skipping past the access reading and stuff you may not need to search thoroughly through... I had this same problem. I could attract attention from someone, got complimented, and only left with a "thank you" and the last the seen of me was the back of my head, or wherever else they were staring. I've had friends come up and thump me on my head saying "you idiot, she's interested, go back and talk to her!" or "dumbass, she wants your number" either way it was a downer on me and because my friends chased me down, I let it hold me back even more.

    Now go get some practice cause you're back to square one. Start with a chick who's only slightly attractive, maybe a 5 or 6 in your books, then move on. Initially to higher your standards as well as your game, you must lower your standards first. This way, you can get a feel for how to talk to the decent looking girl, and (always think this) as you start getting these scenarios, think back to how you talked to the other chick. How easy it was...

    Also, if you need things to talk about, check around for some good questions to ask her that could come with reasonably long answers that'll keep the conversation longer than 5 minutes, and less than 10. You should have the number (or) facebook by then. So pick 5 questions, good ones though, not the same normal thing you'd hear from anyone else in the bar. Common ones such as:
    What's your favorite color?
    When is your birthday? (unless you're good with the signs and horoscope stuff, there's no good follow up for this question)
    IF you choose to take this route look up which signs (according to astrology) goes with which, and which signs should avoid others. This way you can follow up with knowing her sign and comparing it to yours (whether it's good or bad)

    Good comparison: "Ya know our signs are said to have a lot in common, maybe we can get to know each other more outside of this [bar, restaurant, etc.]"

    Bad comparison: "Oooh... Our signs aren't supposed to be too good for each other. It says that I should try staying away from [her sign] but there's something about you that's keeping my interest..." *continue* This I feel is like a neg. You don't point out WHAT is keeping your interest, nor do you compliment her either. She might even laugh and see a sense of humor as well as knowledge in something that not many people take into consideration.

    Some good questions:
    Ask about kids and/or siblings.
    Ask about her interests outside of the bar or club, such as getting coffee, long walks, etc. (You can find common lists of girls interests by reading through their social profile pages, or what they agreed to according to online surveys)
    Her thoughts on something going on in the world today. A lot of time girls are suckers for people helping people. It's "sweet and caring and thoughtful" to help people.
    Maybe she was previously playing a bar game or watching a tv close by. Take notice to that and either offer to play a game with her (and kinda talk yourself up but not enough to where she'll lose interest in playing) or ask about the tv show. If you know what it is and have relevant knowledge on it, talk to her about an episode you liked.

    This works for your bar/club scenario.

    As for the soccer chick... That game was an opener itself, especially when she asked what team she was on. You coulda went for "how long have you played soccer for?" or "are you into any other sports?" and made continuous small talk. Trust me. I've failed this many times and I could probably still be with a "HB10" right now had I spoken up a long time ago in High School when she was interested. After High School, the guy she started dating after waiting for me to stop being stupid, she ended up marrying and now she's long, long gone. Don't make my mistakes

  8. #8
    Instinct Guest

    Default Re: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!!

    Let me clear this up, this where most guys who can get into sets and start talking screw up with the back and fourth talking. You dont say "what is your hobby" oh you play guitar thats cool, "what kind". You say "what is your hobby" oh you play guitar, thats cool "what about the guitar made you feel that it was the right instrument for you?" Do you see what I am saying, when she says something about her hobbies, job, family, music ect.. you arent interested in knowing the logistics, you are interested in knowing the emotions. This is one of my biggest secrets. If you can do this correctly, you can make any women fall in love with you. (btw, do this at business meetings during small talk, see who gets the contract...you!)

    I do this

    Open, tease, false time constraint, a few bhrr, then, when she is really ready to work for me, and turned on, we Isolate, and that can even mean that she is ignoring her group, and I start getting into her motivations and feelings about the world.

    Not too deep, and not too weird "How does diet coke make you feel?" is odd, but "Ok, we are in a room full of happy faces, what makes you happy" - "Disco music" - "Really, I love rock and roll cause it makes me feel free to do whatever I want, what about disco makes you feel happy?" - "It makes me think of john Travolta in Saturday night fever!!" - "that is goofy..., you are so dorky cool!, I would dress you up in a little neon disco space suit, and fly you to Mars and have a big disco party!" - "YAYY!!" - It would be the best party ever, until we went out to get more Mars Soda at the store, and you got us lost!" (omg did you see the BHRR, there were 3.) is cool (it sounds stupid I know). Other guys don't do this kind of thing. Just stick with surface emotions though, not what she does, why, and do it in a friendly, curious way, not like WHY!, but "oh cool, why did yo get into that!". Don't go too deep in a bar, you are learning her public persona, not her inner child, not yet.

    This post is too long and unorginized, but this is why I see guys not getting call backs, they either dont get into emotions at all, or go way too deep without learning the social character first. It goes in layers, skip or ignore a layer, and you're screwed.

  9. #9
    InTheMaking is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Instinct View Post
    You dont say "what is your hobby" oh you play guitar thats cool, "what kind". You say "what is your hobby" oh you play guitar, thats cool "what about the guitar made you feel that it was the right instrument for you?" Do you see what I am saying, when she says something about her hobbies, job, family, music ect.. you arent interested in knowing the logistics, you are interested in knowing the emotions. This is one of my biggest secrets.
    Great post.. rep

  10. #10
    King Inkling Guest

    Default Re: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!!

    similar problems now and again. its kind of hit or miss with me, i either feel fully in the moment and can chat really well. or find myself fully in my head wondering what they think of me.

    Nice one instinct, really enjoying your posts! very manageable stuff, the whole BHRR seems a little hard to get through in my mind, but perhaps its one of those things that will flow alot easier than you think. i find it funny on those times when i've really easily got the girl before really knowing any of this but still it kind of fits the formula.

    need to go out more, but as for a program i was thinking of getting unbreakable. havnt baught anything and its not too bad priced. pluss i quite like what ive heard from Christian and nick. the break down of what to say etc. the dynamics of the interaction. any thoughts? as a rule i have pretty good inner game.. its just trying to not let it get dampened by those initial interactions.

    whats with the not drinking while doing pick up? haha thats an issue, i should do some day game cause at night im always drinking! and it definitely is a bit of a weekness because its a vice to find myway into 'that' state. anyway, dont mean to jack the thread. cheers


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