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Thread: The Biggest Mistake Newbies Make: STOP COMPLIMENTING HER PHYSICAL APPEARANC

  1. #1
    acuriousman is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default The Biggest Mistake Newbies Make: STOP COMPLIMENTING HER PHYSICAL APPEARANC

    When you start complimenting a girl's appearance (Saying she's beautiful, cute, has great legs, etc) and you haven't f-closed her yet, you're DIMINISHING your value.


    She hears those kinds of comments all the time, especially if she's a HB9 or HB10. These kinds of girls are tired of hearing how beautiful they are and they don't need to hear it from you.


    THEY ALREADY KNOW.


    These are the type of comments that make you seem like every other "Average Joe" that tries and fails to talk to her. They always open or give a compliment about her physical appearance within the first 10 minutes. You don't want to be bunched in with them, you want to stand out and let her see that you can appreciate her on MORE than just a physical level.


    That isn't to say don't compliment her, but ALWAYS keep it about things that aren't physical. Her sense of humor, style, and ability to make you laugh are great examples.


    TLDR: Never compliment a woman on her physical traits until you've already slept with her. It hurts you more than it helps and it's an outdated/inefficient tactic. Keep compliments strictly about things they've accomplished (Their sense of style, humor, etc).

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  3. #2
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Biggest Mistake Newbies Make: STOP COMPLIMENTING HER PHYSICAL APPEA

    I would agree with you to an extent. Yes, girls don't like it when someone says comments on their legs, butt, whatever. They do get enough of that. What you can do is politely complement them in a non-sexual way. Here are some examples to show what I mean:

    "Wow, that dress really complements your hair!"
    "Those shoes look amazing! Where did you get them?"
    "Your earrings really bring out your eyes"

    Now, stuff like that is what girls really appreciate. They put a lot of time and effort into looking nice in public, and when someone notices the very small things they do to look nice, they feel rewarded and more confident in themselves. Also, compliments like that prevent you from coming across as a jerk.

    Yes, a typical party girl won't care what kind of comment you make about her, but the more sophisticated women will appreciate these kinds of non-sexualized compliments.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  4. #3
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    Default Re: The Biggest Mistake Newbies Make: STOP COMPLIMENTING HER PHYSICAL APPEA

    Ahhh the old "don't compliment a girl on her looks" bit. I used to think this, and I got plenty of women when I followed this line of thinking. However it's not true. I pulled the hottest girl of my life by doing the exact thing you said guys shouldn't do.

    I've found that the best looking girls are, allot of the time, the most insecure. They haven't heard it all and they LOVE compliments, even ones about their looks. That being said I wouldn't tell newbies to compliment girls on their looks. That would hurt them more then it would help. Once you gain confidence and experience you CAN use compliments to great advantage.

    Nonverbal compliments are usually the best. If she has a nice ass or boobs go ahead and look at them. You don't need to hide it. Women pretend they get upset when guys do this, but they actually like it. Why would a woman wear a REALLY low cut shirt if she didn't WANT guys to look? If a girl goes out and she thinks her rack is her best asset she will wear a low cut shirt. If she thinks her ass is her best asset she will wear little booty shorts or yoga pants. They know and want guys to look. If they give you attitude it's just them shit testing you. If you don't back down you pass.

    I do this all the time, even with my girlfriends who I'm not sexually interested in. If I'm bringing a group of women friends out I'll tell them to wear swimsuits. When they ask me why I tell them so I can look at them in swimsuits. I have no interest in these girls but it makes them feel sexy. They love it!

    So that's my long winded version of saying you're correct. Newbies should not compliment a girl on her looks before they sleep with her. It won't help them. However it's not a bad thing, especially if you have high confidence, and once you progress it can be a very powerful tool.

  5. #4
    fancy16 is offline PUA in Training Achievements:
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    Default Re: The Biggest Mistake Newbies Make: STOP COMPLIMENTING HER PHYSICAL APPEA

    I would not agree with the things that are said. I think that guys think too much what to say or what to do, especially on a first date. Why there must be some compliments involved? Go out, relax, talk about random stuff and enjoy. Through conversation try to find out what a girl might like to hear and leave compliments for next, or even 5th date. Regular girl like to feel relaxed, I am sure that 10s like that too.

  6. #5
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: The Biggest Mistake Newbies Make: STOP COMPLIMENTING HER PHYSICAL APPEA

    Swag is right, it's cool to say stuff like nice earnings, nice shoes, nice dress I even have a little routine that I have a lot of fun with where I turn into the gay male diva when asking about shoes and earnings (a girl once even gave me a heart shaped box of chocolates that said DIVA BITCH on it) ...... just stay away from the common AFC .... "YOU'RE SO HOT/SEXY" crap .... it's so lame

  7. #6
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    Default Re: The Biggest Mistake Newbies Make: STOP COMPLIMENTING HER PHYSICAL APPEA

    Quote Originally Posted by drgnsfire12 View Post
    Swag is right, it's cool to say stuff like nice earnings, nice shoes, nice dress I even have a little routine that I have a lot of fun with where I turn into the gay male diva when asking about shoes and earnings (a girl once even gave me a heart shaped box of chocolates that said DIVA BITCH on it) ...... just stay away from the common AFC .... "YOU'RE SO HOT/SEXY" crap .... it's so lame
    That stuff is lame. That's the point. If you're just throwing compliments out there to try and "get" a girl it will never work. If you compliment her because there is something unique about her, or you are qualifying her to you and you GENUILY feel that way it's amazing. It has to be original because she's unique. This is what I said to an HB 9 BEFORE I made out with her. I had created allot of attraction before I said this.

    "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Looks matter to me but even more important in personality. You have this aura that lights up a room. You are so bubbly and energetic. These are traits that are very difficult to find. Especially when they are paired with exceptional beauty on the outside. This is what I look for in a woman. Every time I see you I can't help but smile."

    I totally meant everything I said so it was completely genuine. She then got the hopelessly attracted look and told me "no guy has ever talked to me like that" and that I "swept her off her feet".


    I know this wasn't ONLY about her looks, but I made sure she knew that I REALLY liked her looks as well.

  8. #7
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: The Biggest Mistake Newbies Make: STOP COMPLIMENTING HER PHYSICAL APPEA

    Direct, I recall a while back T-Mal conducted a very interesting experiment. He created a fake female profile for Match.com using pictures he borrowed from a girl friend. Now this gal was attractive, 8.5/9 and he wrote a good profile with her likes and life goals. The "intro" messages that he got were funny and sad. The majority were, you are hot/sexy, nice breasts/ass/legs or Hello Beautiful. Now I'm thinking if I was a girl, I would be thinking that men are lame, there is no hope, and I'm going to give up, so I think it's our job gentleman to never say/send messages like this and give girls hope that there are fun, interesting, and exciting guys out there. T-Mal posted all the messages he got in the forum, I think it's under the online dating section, it's a must read for what not to do
    "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - his Holiness the Dalai Llama of Tibet

  9. #8
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: The Biggest Mistake Newbies Make: STOP COMPLIMENTING HER PHYSICAL APPEA

    I found T-Mal's post, if you haven't read this please do


    T-Mal says, DON"T DO THIS!!
    "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - his Holiness the Dalai Llama of Tibet

  10. #9
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: The Biggest Mistake Newbies Make: STOP COMPLIMENTING HER PHYSICAL APPEA

    Newbie mistakes:

    Over complimenting (especially complimenting her appearance; it can be ok as long as you do it as a neg)

    Paying for first dates (or buying for drinks right away)

    Taking them out to the movies or dinner(ok if you are well into the relationship but not recommended for first five dates or so).

    Hanging out with her and her friends (you want to Isolate her not be another friend)

    Inviting her friends along (similar to above)

    Allowing her to talk about her ex boyfriends (Listen, I really don't want to hear about your past problems)

    Allowing the girl to lead the conversation and make plans etc.

    Not stepping up and just waiting for her to make the first move or show interest first.


    I know because I have done all or most of these. Lol.

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  12. #10
    WillEdward's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Biggest Mistake Newbies Make: STOP COMPLIMENTING HER PHYSICAL APPEA

    You can genuinely compliment a girl on something she has put effort into and get a positive response. With that said, it is possible to go strictly direct on the open and still get the girl if your confident and hold a strong enough frame. I enjoy Direct Game more but I find that indirect is more practical in more situations.
    Elevate Your Game | Check out my blog for lay reports, attraction and dancefloor game tips !

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