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  1. #1
    kamuflage is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default first things you say when you open

    hey guys, i'm kamuflage, and i'm pretty new here. the thing is, i'm really good with girls i meet through mutual friends, or because of things i'm not responsible for (like when a girl accidentally spills a drink on me), but i'm horrible making the first move.

    i don't know what to say to a girl when i approach her, like when i'm in the club or at a party. What do people say when they walk up to a girl, either when she's alone standing at the bar or when she's part of a group?

    thanks in advance!

  2. #2
    SpiritualGangster is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: first things you say when you open

    If she's young, like the minimum drinking age, a simple hi how's it going will do.

    But if she's hot and more mature, she's heard that shit a million times. You gotta be interesting and use an opener. There's a billion on this site

  3. #3
    Cool Lover's Avatar
    Cool Lover is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: first things you say when you open

    Hi kamuflage,

    Lately I've been fond of situational openers. I keep a list of canned/standard icebreakers on my phone & can bust those out in an emergency, but after reading about situational openers on here, I tried it out more and started doing it to initiate socialization anywhere. I spent one night at a bar opening half the sets by defaulting (making statements) about the band playing, still got great responses because I was confident, and was able to transition to normal conversation. You can open about the group or something nearby, or if a band is playing, open about the show, or I'd talk about the location and the neighborhood we were in. People and stuff are everywhere, if it's there, it is in the field and part of the game to use.

    My goal is to be creative enough to drop a custom situational opener for any situation, and thinking back, there always was at least one thing in plain sight I missed when I didn't think I had a situational opener. And like I said, you can try with random people too. The challenge is getting something good and being able to cook it up while maintaining confidence in the 3 second window... But it helps knowing you have some backup openers in the can & just having them in your phone and having a default one in your head should give you more confidence to perform more gracefully under pressure.

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  5. #4
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    Default Re: first things you say when you open

    "Hey girl, see something you like?" *wink*
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  6. #5
    jacky12 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: first things you say when you open

    Hey cool lover, is it possible to post your list of situational openers you have on your phone. I can make good conversation but I am bad at opening. Thx alot

  7. #6
    Cool Lover's Avatar
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    Default Re: first things you say when you open

    Hey bro, I'll do you one better, I only had the icebreakers on my phone and haven't had to pull them up in months. I added to them with my notes on approaching and maybe it will give you an idea on how to build your own stack to run the newbie drill. I've really started to enjoy the process of opening. It can be fun, plus you get lucky and make friends.

    Openers

    Opener is just a social interaction to get you from the 3 second rule to the start of a normal conversation with a stranger. If the opener doesn’t land you into a natural conversation and you get stuck, just move on to icebreakers…



    Whatever opener you use to land conversation, it will leave a better impression when delivered in a loud voice, with eye contact, assertive confidence, timing, and it is from a frame of socialization and fun. This ability gets better with repetition both in the short term (through the night) and long term (your life). This is because of the artform aspect. It becomes easier to open naturally once in state and congruent.

    Approach in a direct line, slide in from the side but don’t approach from behind.

    A well-delivered opener is a dhv. A poorly-delivered opener is, well, still an opener, and better than no approach at all. It still takes balls to approach strangers. Say you open a hottie and it seems like she blows you out. Keep in mind, most guys do not do this, they sit on the wall and spectate instead of getting in the game, so be happy you are playing the game! Even if you get blown out, stay positive, keep smiling, just laugh it off, it doesn’t matter. The point of the opener is to initiate conversation with strangers. Keep opening more sets. She still might wander back into your conversation circle later once you establish/demonstrate social proof and because you had tried an approach. There is no downside to approaching all. Learn from each approach and keep opening, you’ll wonder how 4am comes around so quickly.


    Default Simple Openers


    “Hello, my name is ____!”
    “Great to meet you, I’m ____!”
    “Hi, I’m ____!”
    (you may lie about your name once for fun, if you come clean after delivering the joke. twice is pushing it, three times is sociopath behavior and girls may scatter from you.)

    Greeting

    (simple greeting, remember a handshake is a good opportunity to initiate kino)
    (enjoy shaking peoples hands, have a firm grip, hold a little longer than you should with women, act like you enjoy it, you will, say her name again, say it all sexy and spell it out while holding her hand and smiling)

    If they are silly/wierd/mean and refuse to shake hands, do knuckles, if they refuse to do that raz them and cross your arms or hands in pockets, basically treat them like tools for not being socially savy and being so serious and find a new set.

    If energy is high you can/should initiate high fives, be sure to connect hands! watch and feel your hands connect
    test a girl with kino if she interlocks fingers with you, it is a IOI
    If she doesn’t give you her name and you gave her yours, raz on her.

    Default Direct Opener:


    Once you are out of your head and in the zone, you can just let go and let your body direct the opener.

    (Approaching girls while in zone dancing and not giving a fuck)
    “Hi girls! wooo whooo yeah party! party... and bullshit... and party and party!”
    (girls are having fun and eating it up, they say you are fun and want to know your name and start to introduce themselves)

    (Dancing next to girl who has watched you approach sets throughout the venue tonight, approach hot girls and take numbers, and joke around with everyone, busting balls with the 300 lb bouncer who looks like Jerome Bettis.

    You make eye contact, gaze, and she smiles nearly laughing, you reach up and run your fingers through her dreadlock hair...)
    “Hello. What’s this? Ohhh I liiiiike this… No… Nooo…. That’s hot.”
    (anime eyes, her jaw drops and she starts laughing with her friend. Vibing/kino commences...)

    So, if you are not in the zone, you can still have a canned direct opener when your hand is tipped and you want to go high risk / high reward:

    (delivered with eyebrow flash on eye contact, a smile and confidence)
    “Hiiiiii… oh you looked like someone I know, or maybe someone I want to know…”
    (intro or better assume rapport and launch into conversation about dopplegangers/twins/sisters/brothers/genetics)

    Default Bar Opener

    “Cheers!”(clink glasses)

    (or a silly canned toast
    “A cheers to toast my favorite food, a toast to Cheers my favorite show.”
    “Sit Booboo, sit! Good dog *woof*”

    Icebreakers

    Icebreakers are for when conversation stalls, or you need to pick it up and move it in a new direction. Situational is best, otherwise, used canned:

    Default / Key Icebreaker # 1 for groups:

    (This icebreaker will typically reveal the dynamics of the group)
    “How do you guys all know each other?”

    (Or go one better and look for a situational statement/joke
    (to a group set with same color shirts
    “Ahhh, I see you are on the same bowling/basketball team, did you guys win?”
    “...Oh cool, how do you really know each other.”

    Key Icebreaker # 2:

    (This will reveal the group’s itinerary, so you can schedule a instadate or day 2)
    “What are you guys up to later/tomorrow?.. I’m doing ____”
    (Then you can follow up to your target)
    “Have coffee with me tomorrow.”


    “Where are you guys going after here? I get hungry when I stay out late. Let’s get pizza/breakfast/sushi at ____! Yeah, they have plenty of bars up that way too...”


    Stories

    Storytelling is a DHV. Have some canned DHV stories ready to tell.
    “Performing is no joke, I’ve done a few performances in my life…”

    Or just a silly story.
    “What is up with the US duck craze of the late 80’s?”

    Improv Jokes

    Improv jokes can make you the man. Alpha males are not afraid to joke.
    A lot of improv is just identifying patterns and relating real events to something funny.
    You can do physical comedy or verbal comedy. Verbal comedy is a story with a punchline.
    Or you can do one-liners, like DD used to say you can do things from movies, then bust on the girls CNF for not knowing the awesome movie or pop reference:
    “First things first I’m the realest...”
    “Bueller…? Bueller…?”
    “We talking about praaaaactice!”
    “You’re killing me, Smalls…”

    Prop Jokes / Stories

    Game is played on the field, so know your venue, scout out your environment and think of jokes / stories / anecdotes tied to props in the environment.
    (leading through dark room...)
    “Watch out for zombies / dracula / werewolves / Nosferatu!”
    (spice it up with unusual, funny words and people will start hanging on to listen to your words)

    (big photo on wall)
    “Hey, look at this kid in the photo, isn’t that creepy…?”
    (at the sports bar)
    “I was actually at that game, let me tell you what happened. It was incredible…”

    Situational Jokes

    There are common situations you run into, so make jokes for things that occur frequently

    (order number called in take-out line)
    “I WON! I WON!”
    “BINGO!”

    Ooops Situational Jokes

    You mess up, recover with a joke, laugh it off and continue like nothing happened...
    It is a DHV that you are secure enough to make blunders and laugh at yourself.

    (You spill your drink at the bar)
    “Hi, I’m ______, rank amatuer bartender.”

    (You stutter as you deliver your opener…)
    “Hablahabala… Pleased to meet you. Doctor Rex Reddington, Speech Therapy.”

    (Go to lean against a fake Greek column that is not as sturdy as it appears to be)
    “Whoa, gotta be careful… I don’t want to tip over the Parthenon here…”

    (use the joke again later with different sets when they get too close to it doing the same thing)
    “Oh yeah! bringing down the house! / Raise the roof / Get out before the place collapses! Ejaculate the building!”

    (or a prop for physical comedy)
    “Hey check this out…”
    “Yeah... yeah.. baby what’s your sign? Can I get your number… whoa!”
    (clowning like an AFC to girls and purposely leaning into unsturdy column)

    Situational Icebreakers

    There are situations that open up opportunities for social interaction.

    (Coffee shop girl has new hairdo)
    “Oh I see you got your hair did!”

    “Oh cool nails”
    (take her hands and brief kino)

    “Ooooo your hands are cold…”
    (taking her hands into yours)

    (new strangers enter the set)
    “Oh hello, I’m ____, this is ____, ____, nice to meet you. Want some popcorn?”
    (reintroduce members of the group)

    Canned Icebreakers:

    Remember to be genuinely curious about other people. Ideally these are rephrased as statements. When people give you info about them, it is good communication to complete the loop and answer the same question about yourself, but this doesn’t need to be automatic, you want to keep conversation going and get into natural flowing conversation where you can express sexuality/presence/fun/social value. I copied a few from books but there are an infinite number of things to talk to people about. Some topics will draw people in better than others, but even if they don’t like it, you are still socializing.

    “Have you seen the movie ___?”

    (You can use current box office hits, but it may be cooler to use older movies that less people are aware of and get excited about parts of it)
    “Ever see Rolling Thunder/True Romance/Donnie Darko? I saw it that again a few weeks ago.
    That movie is intense…”
    “Ever see Ferris Bueller’s Day off? I saw it that again a few weeks ago.
    I agree with the message in life, you need to take time off to smell the roses…”
    (Maybe she didn’t see it… Invite her to watch the movie with you)

    “How do you think about bar/restaurant/party?”

    “Best vacation you’ve been to?”

    “Where would you go on a dream vacation? Why?”

    “What’s favorite thing to do on a stormy day?”

    “Replay any moment in life what would it be?”

    “One thing you’d like to own and why?”

    “Favorite relative? why?”
    (Kind of an innocent probing question which be used to reveal if she has a SO or...)

    “Kids?”
    (If a girl mentions her kids you can use this, as it is probably her priority in life. but I wouldn’t dwell on it or use as an icebreaker with a target until she tells you. Then let her talk about her kids/show you photos/etc. Ask older couples/people if they have kids)

    “Hometown?”

    “What would you come back as in your next life?”

    “Whats the perfect age and why?”

    “What’s your typical day like?”

    “Best place you’ve lived?”

    “Best holiday? Why?”

    “Favorite Family traditions? Maybe hated when growing up?”

    “First car?”

    “Who were your heroes growing up? have they changed?”

    “Memorable teacher you had?”

    “Favorite restaurant / bar?”
    (Tell her yours and invite her)

    “You look irish/italian/korean/cuban/cambodian… No? I dated a girl who looked just like you and she was irish/italian/korean/cuban/cambodian… “

    “What’s the origin of your name?”

    We Don’t Need No Icebreakers

    (Eye contact, then you match gazes)
    “Staring contest… huh?”
    “Fellow chucker, eh?”

    (Sudden silence in conversation and she is giving you a look...)
    (Stick your tongue out at her)
    (She smiles and does it back)

    “Can you touch your nose?”


    There’s no way you walk through life responding to every situation like a computer program, but this is the map I choose to convey the idea. Feel free to use whatever from this list, but the real benefit will be adding your own content and building your own list. You can put it on your phone as a cheat sheet and review it when she’s checking her phone/pretending to ignore you. And fuck, it you probably will find you won’t even need the list, because you will have run your brain through the exercise of creating openers/jokes/whatever and you will just naturally do it in the moment once you get in the zone. Credit Mystery and RSD for breaking down a lot of these concepts.


  8. #7
    Suave Kino's Avatar
    Suave Kino is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: first things you say when you open

    Kamu, thanks to you, I'm going to put together a video on this topic. I'm going through some footage right now. It might take a couple weeks but I'll get it done.

  9. #8
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: first things you say when you open

    Cool ...... could you have made the text ANY smaller !?!?!?!?!
    "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - his Holiness the Dalai Llama of Tibet


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