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Thread: Starting conversations with women in bars when alone (and related stuff)

  1. #1
    boringusername is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Starting conversations with women in bars when alone (and related stuff)

    Hello. Sorry if this thread is redundant.'

    I have recently going to a few nearby bars to try to meet women. Note that it's a college town so that tells you about the demographics (and I'm just a little over college age and work at university so don't worry, not a weird old guy hitting on teenagers). Trouble is, I'm not really sure how to start conversations with strange women in bars.

    Also, I have to go it alone since the few friends I have in the city are married and not the bar-going type. I'm a rather taciturn person, but I like to believe at least that I can be a decent conversationalist once the conversation is started. Trouble is, how to start it? I've tried a few times, usually asking some innocuous question, like "what's that you're drinking", if her drink looks like a weird color or something and I am justifiably curious. Generally she'll answer and seem fairly nice but pretty quickly go back to talking to her friend or something.


    So what kind of thing do I say to initiate a conversation with a woman in this setting, keeping in mind that I am by myself (which I am aware is a disadvantage but an unavoidable one)?

    Secondly, how do you decide what girls to approach? Just intuitively, I usually will just sit and maybe order a drink or wait in line, and if I see a girl sitting or standing alone, I'd go and sit or stand next to her, and hope she isn't just waiting for her boyfriend. I generally avoid groups of them as I'm not sure how I'd handle a group of women. Any thoughts on how to decide who to approach? And of course, what to say to them to start the conversation?

    Thanks.

  2. #2
    dragon is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Starting conversations with women in bars when alone (and related stuff

    Hey dude. Im not a too experienced PUA. but i can give you my advice, that has worked for me.

    Ill usually approach a girl and start with a funny opener. Often i look for eye contact. If theres eye contact ill smile, or straight up go talk to her. I try to avoid a typical, "hi", or whatever. But if i cant come up with anything better, ill just use Hi. Dont be afraid to talk with a few girls man. There are some good openers on this forum.

    As far as deciding who to approach, go for the girl you want. You deserve her. You can get any chick you want. Now as far as approaching a group, as far as Style would say, you almost would ignore the girl you like, and really connect with the group shes in. Almost pushing her out. ( Without being an ass.)

    Regardless man. Theres a ton of openers on here. I started using a couple and they work if you show confidence. Dont take yourself too seriously. You will be rejected a couple of times, like me. But eventually youll get the hang of it. All you really need right now. Is balls. Dare to do it. Dont be scared of rejection. Go for the girls, try openers, get better at them. As far as being alone, what you can do, is start talking a girl, and tell her you lost your friends, or tell her ( im only here for a minute, as i need to get back to my friends or whatever). Use a time constraint so that she doesnt think your gonna stay there. Afterwards, if you see her again , and talk to her, just tell her you lost your friends, or that your friend wasnt feeling well and he went home. Whatever. But yeah. Thats my advice. Again, im not an ALL Star PUA. So take my advice with a pinch of salt my friend.

    Cheers!

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Starting conversations with women in bars when alone (and related stuff

    Let me tell you about myself. I usually sarge alone because:
    -My friends do not know shit about the art of PU, they'll just get in the way or worse dlv me.
    -I can do whatever the fuck I want without worrying who's drunk who's getting in a fight with who...

    I usually go out alone to a roof top bar where I know the bartenders and waiters. I am not friends with them, but we are social.

    @dragon Hi is not a bad opener, it is a good one in fact if you throw in a genuine smile.

    My opener is really strait up: "Hi I think your cute, but beauty is common. Tell me three things interesting about you."

    I usually don't about large groups as it would be tiring to keep up with all of them. A 3 set is the maximum I open.

    As for being alone you can make it a dhv just say: "That's not really your business, but I'm going to tell you...I was supposed to meet up with my friend, but he texted me that a girl wanted to see him and bump uglies so I told him to go for it and not worry about me and since I was already here and I am friends with the guys who work here I decided a couple of beers aren't going to do me harm. Enough about me... go into any routine"
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

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    Gary is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Starting conversations with women in bars when alone (and related stuff

    So you're starting conversations, good on you, but keeping them is harder. No surprises there, Churchill once said "The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." And he, you might be aware, was democratically elected. Imagine if you will:

    Guy: "Gee whizz, beautiful lady, that's an interesting drink. What is it, if you don't mind me askin'."
    Girl: "It is a cocktail of the most salubrious kind: a gin rummy. What about you kind sir?"
    Guy: "A beer."
    Both: *Fuck, what do I say next.*

    Conversation is a two-way street, and needs at least one person who knows the rules of traffic to avoid collision (or get into one if you know what I mean). You will be that person: ask something meaningful, say something fabulous, do something entertaining. What have you got to lose?


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