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  • 1 Post By drgnsfire12

Thread: re-building attraction

  1. #1
    klngskir is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default re-building attraction

    I have a girl (we were friends for a long time when neither of us were available) who I want to make a move on. A while ago she was showing serious interest, lots of IOIs (touching, hugging, joking about dating, etc) but because she was going to be gone for a month, I didn't make a move (regret that now). Last weekend we chilled and she seemed a lot less receptive (still friendly and didn't reject my flirting but didn't return it as much). She was also super stressed over other shit so that might be relevant.

    While things were higher intensity we were texting daily but since things have sort of fizzled that has trailed off significantly, to the point where we only text to set things up logistically.

    I'm going to see her again soon and I feel like I need to rebuild the attraction (we have a ton of comfort from being friends for a long time) so I either a) go for kiss, or b) ask her out on a 'real' date (not sure what order to do it in yet).

    Thanks a lot, i'm pretty new so my skills need a lot of fine tuning

  2. #2
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: re-building attraction

    What you have to be careful of is comfort with no or limited attraction equals friend zone ....... you need to ask her out but keep it simple go for coffee or ice cream or pizza ...... avoid a dinner date for now, girls tend to read too much into dinner dates it's best to keep that for date four or five ..... I would also for now avoid trying to kiss her, it will only lead to issues .... if you play this right you'll get your kiss soon
    "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - his Holiness the Dalai Llama of Tibet

  3. #3
    klngskir is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: re-building attraction

    While things seemed to be 'on' we went out on several occasions - breakfasts, lunches, museums etc but neither of us acknowledged that they were dates. Do I need to do the same thing but make sure she knows it's a date beforehand?

  4. #4
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: re-building attraction

    To be honest, who cares what you call it, that's not important, just keep taking her and spending time with her ....... I've dated girls who would never say that we were dating they would say that we were "seeing each other" ..... I was still going out with them, spending time with them , sleeping with them ...... so they could call it whatever they wanted ..... who cares ....... I will say that you should rake care out to an nice dinner at some point to escalate things ..... I think you'll know when the time is right
    "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - his Holiness the Dalai Llama of Tibet

  5. #5
    klngskir is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: re-building attraction

    Last time we were hanging out she specifically mentioned that we weren't dating, in the context of someone earlier saying that we were (but like you said this was while we were out to breakfast). I'm not sure if I should take this as a hint that I should ask her out or if it's an indication of disinterest.

    Either way, should I try to build more attraction/get her flirting with me like before asking her out to a nice dinner?

    Drgnsfire since it seems like you have been in a similar situation before - what are good ways to build attraction that attraction in this situation?

  6. #6
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: re-building attraction

    Attraction is nothing more than curiosity. It's really not about how you look and more to do with causing a psychological emotional response .
    When someone is intrigued by you they will want to know more about you, that is what we call attraction. People think they're building attraction when they're buying someone a drink, or paying for things, or telling the girl they're beautiful, or asking them about work or their interests, but that kind of stuff will most likely end you up in the dreaded "friend zone".Instead be bold, flirty, confident & fun. Tease them, ... joke with them, make them laugh ...be unique, be flirty, be original, be confident and be fun, fun, fun and you will be OK ....YES , work on building more attraction and when you feel the moment is right ask her out to dinner .... when you have her at dinner tell her you don't want to be just friends anymore
    "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - his Holiness the Dalai Llama of Tibet

  7. #7
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: re-building attraction

    To add on to what drgns fire said

    fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun,

    create that atmosphere, since it will be the perfect mood setting to get seductive...next thing you know you're wrestling and somehow you manage to kiss close...woops, but it was fun

  8. #8
    klngskir is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: re-building attraction

    Thanks both of you! Is there a good resources on this site (or elsewhere) that is a good guide to flirting with people who aren't strangers? I have a pretty good idea but I want to brush up if I can.


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