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  • 2 Post By LockDown
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Thread: Odd problem - confident girls love me, shy girls not so much. Thoughts?

  1. #1
    jlwmanagement is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Odd problem - confident girls love me, shy girls not so much. Thoughts?

    Hi guys!

    I recently began improving my game significantly and was doing much better but I started honing in on the women I REALLY want which is the submissive (shy/nice) girls. My issue is that if I run game on them they think I am a playboy, have too much value for them or just get intimidated by how comfortable I am talking to multiple people/women (I assume because of their perceived lack of self value). I have found that pre-selection tends to turn these women off as well because they think they don't have a shot with me. I am SO confused because confident women eat that shit up!

    The interactions tend to go sideways at qualification. This is normally what I do:
    *banter for a few minutes until I get some positive body language/IOIs
    Me: You seem like a really cool chick but I want to know what makes you interesting -
    Me: Tell me three things about yourself that will surprise me
    HB: Uhhh.....i dont know *blush*
    Me: Banter with something like "No need to be shy, out of all the great women in here, I am talking to you so clearly there is something about you that makes you special. I am trying to figure out what it is (I know, I know...it shows some interest on my part but without it they always shut down)

    Sometimes they are able to qualify themselves but they either shut down in sexual escalation (I have had them tell me that they aren't worthy of me a few times...which is ridiculous) or tell me that they find me intimidating and i get nowhere in rapport.

    More confident women (which I do enjoy, but not as much) have zero issue with me and the game is always afoot (and quite fun) so I dont think it is my game or me in general. I think its something about these submissive girls.

    Does this make sense?

    If so, how can I modify my game to pick up these shy/submissive women?

  2. #2
    LockDown's Avatar
    LockDown is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Odd problem - confident girls love me, shy girls not so much. Thoughts?

    Personally, I think you are giving too much away in your banter. Telling them don't be shy highlights their self esteem issue. Don't point out things like that. She should feel better in your presence. Typically, you need to take the opposite approach. Make it like she is a player and has guys after her. Tell her the quiet ones are always the devious ones, the ones out to score. And then say you know her tricks and it will be hard to trick you.

    I also want to ask you to question your motives. Do you like shy girls because they are playing hard to get? Is that really a good match for you?

  3. #3
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: Odd problem - confident girls love me, shy girls not so much. Thoughts?

    damn.. this was also bugging me for a pretty long time, because some girls who have more self-esteem seem to like the "player vibe" where as I struggled with shy girls.. I know this isn't my thread, but thanks for the advice, the more I learn about PUA the more I realize this is almost flipping the script 180% haha

  4. #4
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    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Odd problem - confident girls love me, shy girls not so much. Thoughts?

    Don't try to get them to qualify themselves. Why would you do that? They're women and they are insecure. How about you compliment them on their positive traits. That will make them feel good. Qualify THEM.

    Stop being afraid of showing interest. The biggest ruse in PUA is "don't show interest or compliment your target". If you had true confidence would you be afraid of showing your true intentions?

  5. #5
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: Odd problem - confident girls love me, shy girls not so much. Thoughts?

    Often times girls like to play the chase game where they try to make you chase them, when a girl is beautiful I often assume they are going to act like bi.... and try to flip the script and make them chase me, got to notice the signals when a girl is trully shy and try to make her know that she's the player. Another common mistake I make is not trying to sell my self to quick (qualifying them)

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Odd problem - confident girls love me, shy girls not so much. Thoughts?

    Quote Originally Posted by Alergy View Post
    Often times girls like to play the chase game where they try to make you chase them, when a girl is beautiful I often assume they are going to act like bi.... and try to flip the script and make them chase me, got to notice the signals when a girl is trully shy and try to make her know that she's the player. Another common mistake I make is not trying to sell my self to quick (qualifying them)
    That's the difference with shy girls and confident girls. Confident girls love a challenge. Shy girls just want to be included. When you're with a group of people and having a conversation include her. Ask her how she feels about the subject or what she thinks about it. Make sure you make eye contact with her and give her a genuine smile. Get her involved and she will feel special.

    The really good women don't like to play games and will throw you away as soon as they sniff you out. There's something powerful with the Mindset of "Hey you're awesome. I'm interested in you. Lets do something about this and see where it goes". You can chase and get plenty of women. You just need to have the true confidence and not come across as needy. You need to be optimistically persistent knowing you will get the girl. If it doesn't work out it doesn't effect you.

    I wouldn't even call that "chasing". It's really just laying your cards down on the table.


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