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Thread: How to handle these bar problems?

  1. #1
    redstar1324 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default How to handle these bar problems?

    Most of the girls there are:

    With people they already know.
    Surrounded by guys they met that night, whether they like them or not.
    Work there or are too busy.

    How do I get past this?

  2. #2
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to handle these bar problems?

    Hmmmmm, I don't have a whole lot of experience with bars. These obvious thing would be to look for girls who are there by themselves. You could start out by talking to a bartender(preferably if she's female and these days most of them are) a bit to get you warmed up. If you are there with your friends you need to break away from the pack maybe. The most important thing is to just act natural and act like you are there to have fun no matter what and not some creep who is only there to hit on chicks.

    So when you walk in and see a group of females that are there(could be a mixed(ie both male and female)set)just walk up to them but not in a straight line and say something like "hey, guys......you all seem very relaxed(nice) and I thought I would just say hello before I grab a drink." This way, you are letting them know you are about to grab a drink which is a false time constraint. If they think you are cool they might invite you over or not. They probably won't but at least this is when you get to see if they are friendly and worth your time.

    After the initial awkwardness you can proceed. After you get your drink say "ok, so are we past the initial awkward conversation yet?" Don't single any women out yet and make eye contact with all of them and engage all of them(even the dudes if there are some). Or you could return and say "so where were we?" "Oh, that's right, you were wondering who the cowboy from out of town is. That would be me." Of course you smile when you say this.

    The thing to remember is don't go into this with the Mindset of trying to pick up a woman and don't single out any females until at least a few minutes into the conversation like when some go off talking to each other and one is just standing there(the one next to you preferably). There is an approach that says ignore the hot one if you want her but that might be a bit risky if you are new to this.

    Also, be social. Talk to everyone and introduce yourself to everyone(especially if they ask). If they don't ask your name either wait until way later or just don't worry about it. Don't be like every other guy. Be different. Be mysterious. Don't answer every question with an obvious answer and don't be afraid to break rapport.

    One mistake some guys make(including myself at least once)is to wait until one of the girls goes to the bathroom or is by herself. I remember a guy telling me he did this once and he also got shot down. He might have gotten shot down anyway but doing something like this will creep her out because she knows guys do this and they view it as cowardly. Just talk to the whole group or not at all. Most girls do not go to the bar by themselves anyway. If she happens to be by herself for the whole night then obviously that's another matter. In these cases they most likely work there and are just hanging out on their night off.

    So be brave and go out there. Think of what you want to happen and strike up a conversation. If your goal is to get a number at the end of the night just say "well, hey it was great talking to you, how about if we continue this conversation sometime." Or even better yet "let's continue this conversation sometime." Also, don't be afraid to throw in some sexual innuendo or something a bit risque. Something like so "who do you think get's turned on more easily men or women?" THrow that in much later though after you have been chatting for a while. Good luck.

  3. #3
    Dizzie's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to handle these bar problems?

    Quote Originally Posted by redstar1324 View Post
    Most of the girls there are:

    With people they already know.
    Surrounded by guys they met that night, whether they like them or not.
    Work there or are too busy.

    How do I get past this?

    Night/bar game is by far my favourite. Been doing it religiously for almost 8 years now. I've seen almost anything that can happen at a bar and the scenarios you've mentioned are basic logistics you'll be confronting every time you go out.

    Women will be in groups 99% of the time at the bar because that's why they go there, to socialize. I'll give you a quick break down of the types of groups you'll find at the bar and what strategy you should take.

    1. Women by themselves
    I never approach women alone because they will fall into one of the following categories:
    i) She is waiting for her friends in the washroom
    ii)She is waiting for her Boyfriend to come back from the washroom
    iii)She is the type of girl that goes to the bar alone and she's batsh*t crazy

    If she is waiting for her friends, I'll wait for her friends to rejoin her and then I'll approach the group. The reasoning behind this is that women are more likely to have their guards down when they are in the company of their friends. It also shows confidence and good social intuition by opening up the whole group. Also if you start talking to a girl before her friends are back, when they do get back, they'll have their guards up and they'll try to peel her away. You're way further ahead to approach the group and win her friends over and get them on your side.

    2. Groups of Two Women
    Typically these groups get hit on the most at a bar. It's best to approach two girls with a wing but it's still doable alone. It's not an excuse not to approach. The reason it's best with a wing is because he can engage the friend will you build attraction with your target. If you don't have a wingman, you're going to either have to keep both girls engaged and go for the number, or hope the friend takes off and leaves the two of you alone (yes I've seen this happen sometimes). What's likely to happen though is the friend is going to try to pull way the girl you're interested in.

    3. Groups of Three or More Women
    Easiest groups at the bar. When you approach the group, make sure you project your voice loud enough so the whole group can hear you. Stand closest to your desired target. As the conversation continues, pay less attention to the group and more on to the girl you're interested in. If done properly, her friends will converse with themselves while you're free to talk to the girl. The majority of my same night lays have come from 3 or 4 sets.

    4. Mixed Groups with Guys and Girls
    The rules are the same as #3 above. The only difference is you'll want to ask the whole group how they know each other so you can establish relationships early. If the guys are longtime friends or they know each other from work, you're going to have to win them over. I'll talk about typical guy things such as sports, cars, women, make fun of AFCs at the bar,...etc. If the girls just met the guys that night, I'll completely ignore them and keep talking to the girls until they go away. It sounds ballsy but it's actually not. I do it and have seen it done regularly by my wings. Don't worry, they aren't going to fight you or cause a scene. If they try to cause trouble they are either going to get kicked out and/or they'll look dooshy and will blow their chances with those girls. Trust me, typically the guys just go away once they realize you are running the show with the girls.

    5. Indirect VS Direct
    In night game, I do both type of approaches. If a girl holds eye contact with me and smiles, I'll immediately walk over and open her with something direct. Otherwise I'll use an indirect opener for groups.

    -Dizzie

  4. #4
    redstar1324 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: How to handle these bar problems?

    What do you talk to the girls about?

    Here's me: I run a home building company that will soon make me over $1,000,000/year and will have a villa in Italy and one in Puerto Rico in addition to my Lamborghini.

    I find of the girls at the bar aren't worth my time unless they're super hot, which is many times just the bartenders.

  5. #5
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to handle these bar problems?

    All you have to do is practically stand next to a Lamborghini and hot girls will come flocking. If you already have one well I'm not sure what you are doing here. LOL.

    Talk about whatever you want: sports, the weather, etc. It's probably best to engage her about herself rather than talk about yourself. Then just throw in some mild disqualifiers such as "you like such and such tv show?" "I'm not sure I could date a woman who likes such and such" but be playful about it. Talk about stuff that is relevant. If there is a band playing talk about that etc. Then tease her for liking/not liking the band. Just keep going. I'm sure it will get easier the more you do it.

  6. #6
    Dj Chill is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to handle these bar problems?

    you can keep it simple now a days, dont even mention who could date, just bust on em for that TV show... XXXX show? Really you watch that? That simple

    BTW im back.

  7. #7
    Fzone is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to handle these bar problems?

    What if you run into a woman you feel really hot for immediately and she is there with two males. Maybe flirting with them obviously knows them but not acting out as a couple or lovers but surely having something going on. Do you just wait your chances on running into her again and go for another one or do you somehow move in and shift things?

  8. #8
    Dizzie's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to handle these bar problems?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fzone View Post
    What if you run into a woman you feel really hot for immediately and she is there with two males. Maybe flirting with them obviously knows them but not acting out as a couple or lovers but surely having something going on. Do you just wait your chances on running into her again and go for another one or do you somehow move in and shift things?

    This was answered in my above post. I approach mixed groups with guys all the time. The key is to ask the group how they all know each other early in the interaction so you can establish relationships. If she's good friends with the guys, you'll have to win them over first before hitting on the girl. Sometimes I'll actually direct my opener towards the guys at first that way they don't think I'm trying to steal their girl right off the hop. If you wait for the guys to go, it's sneaky and when they finally do come back they will pull her away from you. When you approach mixed sets with guys, you're coming in with high value in the woman's eyes when done properly. If they're random guys she just met that night, your chances are even better. I'll just direct the conversation towards the woman and ignore the guys. Usually what I have to say is far more fun and interesting then what the guys had to say in the first place.

    Skilled wingmen come in real handy here as well. I'll have my wing come in and distract the guy(s) while I talk to the gal or vice versa.

  9. #9
    JackSarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to handle these bar problems?

    Quote Originally Posted by redstar1324 View Post
    Most of the girls there are:

    With people they already know.
    Surrounded by guys they met that night, whether they like them or not.
    Work there or are too busy.

    How do I get past this?
    Semantically these are very real problems. I find ways of dealing with these problems and turning them into rewards and benefits but I certainly do agree they can be a pain. Still I try to use adversity as a strength and for this I get more chicks anyway look at things differently!!

    (Doing it a little backwards)

    Question #3
    Work there or are too busy.

    I used to see this as a HUGE hurtle starting out. approaching bartenders for conversation was extremely hard.It was super loud, they were there to make money, can't flirt with customers, etc.

    Till I forced myself.

    I saw it as an obstacle. Now I love bartenders and bartender game.

    Closed bartenders before. Get free drinks for flirting. Get free entry to Clubs for knowing the Bartenders. Find out about exciting events in the area. Build social proof for gaming other chicks. I love Bartender game for these reasons and mine is super strong.

    Question#2
    Surrounded by guys they met that night, whether they like them or not.
    Serious problem for me cuz I usually am pretty chivalrous in that bros before chicks. I don't try to saddle up the ladies from other dudes as I think that's sleezy. I wait till the dudes leave and usually look like the hero. I will AMOG only when extremely in state and totally confident I can compete with the other dude. If he is looking like a Boss and makes me feel insecure ain't happening. But if he looks like a chode totally going for it. My thoughts are correct and my inhibitions do not fail me.

    Be back for Question #1 gotta run!
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack


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