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Thread: What is standard rapport building conversation in a bar or club?

  1. #1
    redstar1324 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default What is standard rapport building conversation in a bar or club?

    This is a huge hole in my game. After I do the intro, conversation tends to fizzle out. I'm not trying to waste time, I'm trying to get to know a person and be genuine.

    What do I talk about? Please don't tell me to ask her what kind of movies she likes.

    I'm especially interested in what Pimpin has to say.

    Also, I've noticed that I've been relying on other guys to get conversation out of girls. For example, I'll be sitting at a bar and some other guys will be asking her about her daughter, which will then give me a topic of conversation asking about how old her daughter is and go from there. This is not a good long-term plan. How could I get this information without going into interview mode?

    I have noticed sometimes that I will be deluding myself into thinking I have a chance with a girl, only to find out down the road that she is a lesbian or has a long-term boyfriend and two kids.

  2. #2
    Pimpin'Scout is offline PUA in Training Achievements:
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    Default Re: What is standard rapport building conversation in a bar or club?

    Red I gave you before a flow of my topics on one of my posts. I also asked you specific questions for you to answer. I need your answers to tailor for you topics that you actually can use in conversation.

    BUT you asked about rapport in a club. In clubs girls are there to have fun and don't want to talk about something serious. If what you are after is smart intellectual girls and pretty that is not the location you should visit.

    Anyways,
    How I build rapport and trust with girls is by assuming they are ALREADY MY Friends.

    This means on the approach during my approaching days I would walk over to her and assume something is great going to happen. A good way to think about it is I approach as If she was my lover .

    Think about the contrast between talking to your best friend and sitting on the bus next to strangers.
    With strangers you may talk in a very polite manner. Avoid Eye contact and takes less space.

    but with your best friend you can relax take more space joke around and even act silly. You don't care about the impression you give.Why would you they are your friends.

    By going first into such a energy the girls will relax.

    That is THE MOST IMPORTANT aspect of building rapport. THe words in the club are just spices. I have got girl without saying a word.

    Now when you go into such an energy she will follow you.

    From here you can start talking about topics.
    Also the way I approach a girl is very clear about my intentions. If she has a boyfriend or in serious relationship she will let me know from first second so I don't have to waste my time.

    I interview girls. Nothing wrong with that. It is an interview to decide if I pursue her . The first time we sleep together is also a form of interview to see if she is good enough for me.

    I may ask her about what movie she likes.......then music......then travel....to get her warmed up. I go from general to personal. I liketo be smooth.

    But in clubs mostly the real rapport building happened in my bed after we slept together. This is when a girl is most honest.

    Pimpin'Scout

  3. #3
    redstar1324 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: What is standard rapport building conversation in a bar or club?

    Was the question what I have to offer a girl? I'm smart, motivated, good in bed. That's about all I can think of right now. I plan to have one of the largest home building companies in Florida within 10 years. I have a factory that produces dietary supplements and detox pills. Is that even relevant?

  4. #4
    Pimpin'Scout is offline PUA in Training Achievements:
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    Default Re: What is standard rapport building conversation in a bar or club?

    That was one of them.

    There was others like:

    1) What does a woman have to offer you other than a pussy and being a pretty face?
    2) What are your turn ONS in a woman and turnoffs?
    3) What Are you interested in other than making tons of money?

    So your vision is to have one of the largest building companies. Do you know how cool this is?

    You can ask a girl "What are you passionate about?"
    Then you say " I am passionate about helping people built the home of their dreams"
    "Imagine waking up in a place that looks exactly like you want. You wouldn't want to leave that place and you will look forward to going there after a tiring day at work"...

    Women love when you paint pictures in their mind and get them to experience feelings. It opens them up for you.

    Pimpin'Scout

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    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: What is standard rapport building conversation in a bar or club?

    Great advice Pimpin'Scout, when I'm first interacting with a girl I like to behave as is I'm blind and immune to her physique and charm, which is something that's becoming a habit of mine. What I love to do is personally is to get them talking about what I WANT TO KNOW - what drives them, what's their current goal in life, not a big fan of book game but I've thought of a pretty good one-liner to get them talking about what they do in life besides having fun "So, how many homeless people did you steal from to get that "insert an expensive item you notice on her" then she usually laughs and I ask what she really does. But the best thing in comfort building is asking "why" questions, every guy asks what she does, sounds like an interview, but if you get her to reveal details to you about how/why she does it and show genuine interest in those words - she'll not only know that you're interested not only in her looks, but will also get the feeling that you've known her for a while.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Alergy For This Useful Post:

    Moxtermorgan (11-05-2015),Pimpin'Scout (11-05-2015)

  7. #6
    redstar1324 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: What is standard rapport building conversation in a bar or club?

    Allergy, do you know how I would get past this problem? This type of thing happens to me: I'm at a bar struggling to make small talk with a bartender, the best thing I can think of is to tell her about my business. Then, she talks to someone else about her daughter. This then leads me to be able to ask about her daughter, how old is she, etc.... But I totally rely on someone else to find this information c out. If not for that other person, I never would have found out she had a daughter, let alone one that was 12 years old at the age of 28.

  8. #7
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: What is standard rapport building conversation in a bar or club?

    When I'm talking to someone I don't know if it's their words or their body language, but I always have a 6th sense about how they are, what traits they have and I always point out my opinion right off the bat. Even if I have to stop them mid-sentence and say "wow, I have no idea how you manage to keep such a genuine smile on your face while serving guys who are drunk-off their ass trying to hit on you, you look like a very caring and positive person". But honestly, just because he got her to tell him about her daughter doesn't mean he was doing good, was she laughing? did she show him ioi's? was he interacting with her more as a friend and trying to be her nanny or her lover? If I see someone trying to hit on a girl "interview" style I don't care if he got to know her better, all I know it's going to be hard for him to get the girl attracted to him, that usually brings a snobbish smile on my face and sometimes even laughter.

    Back to the point - don't focus too much on factual stuff at first, it's best to leave it for when you're building comfort, I did Comfort and then Attraction building only before learning PUA. But now, I rather build attraction first - get blown out or receive IOI's, make a move and build comfort, instead of starting with comfort building and then trying to make a move and getting blown out knowing I just wasted my time, because of various reason which all revolve around - her not being attracted to me. By the way, women love talking about themselves, it's an unquestionable fact, but they want to get to know you as well (if you've struck their fancy). Approach a girl, focus all on attraction building, after receiving some IOI's, comfort building will be much much easier because due to the built attraction she will genuinely want to get to know you which means - you won't have to think of stuff to ask her or what to comment because she'll be doing the questioning and you can of course always share common interests or at least opinions on subjects you're talking about

  9. #8
    Pimpin'Scout is offline PUA in Training Achievements:
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    Default Re: What is standard rapport building conversation in a bar or club?

    Good advice man
    The only thing I disagree with is hiding your sexual interest. I do show interest in her body. You want there to be a sort of sexual pull between you. Also there is different types of women. Some respond kind of ONLY to sexual aggression to open up to you. You open up her body and then she invites you to enter her brain.

    Some the opposite where your keys to her body is her brain.

    Pimpin'Scout

  10. #9
    Pimpin'Scout is offline PUA in Training Achievements:
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    Default Re: What is standard rapport building conversation in a bar or club?

    Yes! Pleasure to meet you Alerg. I was going to leave this forum.

    Yes the ability to be in the moment and create shit on the fly and BE AWARE are keys to be a good player.

    Just some of the jargon u said I didnt understand thought. What IS ioi?

    Also I disagree with BUILDIN attraction concept. A women decides if the fuck will happen the moment you enter the room she has catogerized you.

    So YOU HAVE TO be attraction itself and not try to attract someone. Attempting to attract a girl not interested is a wast of time and energy.

    Good post all in all,

    Pimpin'Scout

  11. #10
    redstar1324 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: What is standard rapport building conversation in a bar or club?

    Well today at the bar there was these two girls in skirts right next to me. Now, I, of course, can't think of anything to say to them to save my life. The only thing that even enters my mind is touching them physically, but I believe, without a word of English, that is probably a crime. I just want to say "hey, how are you?" and rub their thigh.

    I actually did that one time and a girl paid my bar tab.

    Don't leave the forum, Pimpin', you're one of the only people I listen to on here. You give the best advice of anyone.

    I see people that just met that night having 10 minute conversations and I think "what on Earth are they talking about for so long?" Even the girl I had over the other day from Tinder, we didn't talk at all. We just went straight to it and she left when we were done.

    Pimpin', when you "polarize" (a term from a book I read that means to be yourself and find out which girls dig you and which don't), what is the usual ratio of girls that are interested to those that are not?


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