I went to a total of probably 8 different bars....

Here's what I took from the night....

I am a paranoid schizophrenic and I do take medicine, but I noticed how it affected me at first... A girl was making a face like I thought she was patronizing me, but I realized it was just her natural face and I realized how this has affected my socialization for probably most of my life... For example, there was a guy who showed the bartender his ID and it looked fancy and she said "cool," like it was some sign of value... I asked the guy if he worked for the government... he said no that he was from Jamaica and that's what was cool about it...

I also noticed that I give off kind of a "rapey" vibe and I would never do that, but sometimes the desire when you see those girls in those shorts and you can just imagine how wet and nice their pussy is.... oh my god... but that desire HAS to be there.... and yes I know rape is illegal and I would never do anything without someone's consent.... but I am actually glad that I have that amount of desire now because it means I'm coming out of my depression...

I tried making small talk about real estate about how I'm about to take 33% ownership of an apartment complex.... and I thought this alone would impress.... it "does" depending on how you bring it up... if she ASKS YOU, then it's cool.... but if you go ahead and brag about it....

The word EMPATHY is something I felt tonight that I haven't felt in a long time.... I don't know why tonight was the night... but I'm glad it was... my anger seems to be gone... and that's something I can say I've never had for my whole life dating back to when I was a child.... I have always had anger problems and feeling empathy that I felt TONIGHT for the first time EVER seems to have made them go away....

I saw how I should not put them on a pedestal and not give them more credit than they should have... for example, after talking to a hot bartender..... I realized that she most likely sits around and watches television when she's at home... that's not something I like in a girl... I find it lazy and I would never be with someone like that.... hot ass or no hot ass... that's not my standards....

I talked to some other bartenders and I noticed that I got PROXIMITY from a very good looking girl... she didn't talk to me, but she stood close and listened.... I was talking to a bartender.. as an opener, I asked her how she would invest $1,000,000. She said a Strip Club. I asked her why. She said that she worked at one as a bartender. I told her that last time I was at a strip club, the dancer looked incoherent and drunk at least.... and I asked her if she thought most strippers were also prostitutes... she said some.... I then noticed how the girls around me (not that I can read minds, but The Vibe) saw that how I viewed women was important... this is something they look for.... your views on women and it's important that they be good..... I said that I kind of felt sorry for them....

At one point, it struck me that in order to get the most attractive of them.... I need to move up the socioeconomic ladder.... I do not make as much as I may sound like... I might in a year or so.... I NEED to buy an Aston Martin and have a nice and cool friends, etc.... it can't work without this... the hottest girls won't be with someone who lives in a trailer, like I currently do....

I SUCCESSFULLY peacocked with some $350 Versace sunglasses.... you have to SMILE WITH CONFIDENCE.... and I was..... I noticed people looking at me while I was walking around and through bars....

I sat next to a good looking girl and asked her how her night was so far... asked her her name (which I quickly forgot and had to ask her again)... asked her what she does... she told me where she works.... bla bla bla... but it was a nice conversation and the point was the EMPATHY behind it that I felt.... I told her that she seemed sad and I actually cared....

Also, since I've taken from this forum.... I feel I should give something back..... this is an opener I used a few times tonight... or as a conversation extender.....

"Do you know why women have a longer life span than men?"
Answer is that they take better care of their bodies. They, on average, drink less alcohol, smoke less, eat healthier, drink more water, etc....

I feel that I made so much progress in just this night... that tomorrow I could approach Kim Kardashian if she were standing there and hold eye contact like I deserved to be talking to her....

Also, one thing I noticed is the importance of common interests... there is one bartender who is interested in real estate... so this gives us something to talk about.... this is important in seeing them as individuals and not just as some random hole to possibly stick your dick in.....

Also, I do not care to let some girl see me staring at her ass or tits like I want to fuck her right there.... they NEED to see that..... it's the only way it's going to happen....

I ALSO noticed that the "friend zone" is an important thing for me. It is a GOOD thing for me to be in there. Earlier posts, I have been described as "sick in the head," and it's important for me to show these girls that I don't pose a physical threat to them....

It also struck me, after actually getting close to some of these girls... that I'm a recovering drug addict and that's actually important to my identity... it's not a good thing... I think it's a low value, but it is what it is.... I spent the years 2008 - 2012 high on LSD 24/7..... oh well.... I see benefits of it, too.... but it has to be a thing of the past and also NO ALCOHOL WHATSOEVER.... that is important....

I also STILL need to hit the gym.... and get a tan..... and I think wearing cologne is overrated and I might have just wasted $65 on some cologne, but oh well.... I don't think anyone can even smell it....

Also, I noticed that my narcissism has declined.... I am more friendly with other guys as well.... more generally sociable.... I think that the narcissism is a defense mechanism just to think that YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN ME..... because why would you be better than me? But is their BOYFRIEND better than me... because you have to think that a lot of the hottest girls already have boyfriends and if you want them, you might have to outcompete him.... it is what it is and it is a reality..... they might not have kids yet so it's nothing official and maybe their current boyfriend is weak....