Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 24
Like Tree9Likes

Thread: Thoughts on going direct.

  1. #11
    Gironon is offline Banned
    Points: 124, Level: 2
    Level completed: 48%, Points required for next Level: 26
    Overall activity: 99.7%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    58
    Points
    124
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Thoughts on going direct.

    Quote Originally Posted by mystique View Post
    This is truth. Motive is the only indicator but most of us lie to ourselves.
    If your motive is an effect, its relatively more manipulative.

  2. #12
    Gironon is offline Banned
    Points: 124, Level: 2
    Level completed: 48%, Points required for next Level: 26
    Overall activity: 99.7%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    58
    Points
    124
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Thoughts on going direct.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam981 View Post
    What if the guy is honest in his intentions but chooses to approach indirectly just because, in his mind, he thinks this is the "right way"? Would that be manipulation also?

    It's just like you want to point out someone for doing something incorrectly, but instead of telling him directly that "You suck" you just choose to be more polite.

    Actually most guys, imo, who approach indirectly are motivated by lack of confidence to go direct rather than with the intentions of manipulating someone, though it comes off as manipulative I guess. So in their mind at least they are still being honest.
    No the distinction is irrelevent. It only matters where it comes from. If youre using an "indirect" method because youre too insecure to be more "direct" then the fact that you see it as right action makes it so. That makes all the difference, your own perception and feeling about it. It all comes down to the action itself. If you dont feel congruent or authentic doing it, its not direct. I think the deciding factor is whether you are attached to outcomes. Being attached to outcomes creates a manipulative feeling. I think ive already said this though.

  3. #13
    Gironon is offline Banned
    Points: 124, Level: 2
    Level completed: 48%, Points required for next Level: 26
    Overall activity: 99.7%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    58
    Points
    124
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Thoughts on going direct.

    Quote Originally Posted by mystique View Post
    That would come back to what his intentions are. What is the driving motive? Is it to add to someone or detract for one's own benefit? (I try to ask myself: Helpful or Hindrance?) Being honest with oneself involves asking these types of questions. Although it does pay to remember one can justify doing anything one really wants to do. That's where accountability partners/mentors are essential to make any real change. However, I digress...
    If youre externalizing your intentions youll never be truly direct because youll be dependent on external reactions, rather than being aligned with your own intention whatever it is. You can just do what you want. Without justification.

  4. #14
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,840, Level: 44
    Level completed: 45%, Points required for next Level: 110
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    The frozen tundra. U.S.A.
    Posts
    595
    Points
    4,840
    Level
    44
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 24 Times in 22 Posts
    Rep Power
    228

    Default Re: Thoughts on going direct.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gironon View Post
    If youre externalizing your intentions youll never be truly direct because youll be dependent on external reactions, rather than being aligned with your own intention whatever it is. You can just do what you want. Without justification.
    That's why being direct doesn't work for most guys. When you're outcome dependent direct doesn't work because women can sense it. If you approach directly expecting an outcome it rarely works. When you approach directly because you feel like it, but expect nothing in return it's extremely powerful.

    That's how compliments work as well. You hear "don't compliment an attractive woman" and "don't go direct for night game". Both statements are hogwash but are treated as fact in the community. This is because 95% percent of men will crash and burn doing both of these things. They'll crash because they'll expect an outcome from the compliment. If you give a beautiful woman a compliment, at a bar, and expect nothing in return she'll love you for it.

  5. #15
    Gironon is offline Banned
    Points: 124, Level: 2
    Level completed: 48%, Points required for next Level: 26
    Overall activity: 99.7%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    58
    Points
    124
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Thoughts on going direct.

    Quote Originally Posted by DirectIsBest View Post
    That's why being direct doesn't work for most guys. When you're outcome dependent direct doesn't work because women can sense it. If you approach directly expecting an outcome it rarely works. When you approach directly because you feel like it, but expect nothing in return it's extremely powerful.

    That's how compliments work as well. You hear "don't compliment an attractive woman" and "don't go direct for night game". Both statements are hogwash but are treated as fact in the community. This is because 95% percent of men will crash and burn doing both of these things. They'll crash because they'll expect an outcome from the compliment. If you give a beautiful woman a compliment, at a bar, and expect nothing in return she'll love you for it.
    Approach direct and have expectations. Its the same thing. Its identical. It doesnt change it. Youre going to fail if you go direct, but thats only because you arent catering to some absurd expectation.

  6. #16
    mystique's Avatar
    mystique is offline A woman's perspective
    Points: 749, Level: 14
    Level completed: 49%, Points required for next Level: 51
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    500 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    146
    Points
    749
    Level
    14
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
    Rep Power
    39

    Default Re: Thoughts on going direct.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gironon View Post
    If youre externalizing your intentions youll never be truly direct because youll be dependent on external reactions, rather than being aligned with your own intention whatever it is. You can just do what you want. Without justification.
    I disagree. I'm also not referring to being direct, I'm discussing motive. Being direct/indirect and having a motive are two very different things. It's the motive that causes the 'tools' to be manipulative. I think you may be making this more complicated than it needs to be quite frankly. One doesnt have to be dependent on external reactions at all. A heart motive is what I was referring to to ascertain where one stands with his own authentic self and with regards to self improvement... to manipulate or not manipulate... to be alpha or pretend to be alpha... that is the question lol
    You will never do ANYTHING in this world without COURAGE. - Aristotle

  7. #17
    Kyl3's Avatar
    Kyl3 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 2,765, Level: 32
    Level completed: 10%, Points required for next Level: 135
    Overall activity: 34.0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    280
    Points
    2,765
    Level
    32
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
    Rep Power
    129

    Default Re: Thoughts on going direct.

    I did sales for awhile, and during it I had to cold approach every single person imagine able to try and sell them literal crap.

    going direct takes major balls, and it's going to suck at first. After the first day, it's going to get easier. By the 3rd day of going direct with people, you'll never go back to hiding behind indirect stuff.

    going direct gets you the best results the fastest. You will either get blown out (which doesn't happen hardly ever once you get good) or you'll get leads, results, success.

    with indirect, you pussy-foot around, run 10x more game, more energy, and more though just to get what you could've possibly gotten going direct right off the bat.

  8. #18
    mystique's Avatar
    mystique is offline A woman's perspective
    Points: 749, Level: 14
    Level completed: 49%, Points required for next Level: 51
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    500 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    146
    Points
    749
    Level
    14
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
    Rep Power
    39

    Default Re: Thoughts on going direct.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyl3 View Post
    I did sales for awhile, and during it I had to cold approach every single person imagine able to try and sell them literal crap.

    going direct takes major balls, and it's going to suck at first. After the first day, it's going to get easier. By the 3rd day of going direct with people, you'll never go back to hiding behind indirect stuff.

    going direct gets you the best results the fastest. You will either get blown out (which doesn't happen hardly ever once you get good) or you'll get leads, results, success.

    with indirect, you pussy-foot around, run 10x more game, more energy, and more though just to get what you could've possibly gotten going direct right off the bat.
    Lol how long did you last selling 'literal crap'?
    You will never do ANYTHING in this world without COURAGE. - Aristotle

  9. #19
    Gironon is offline Banned
    Points: 124, Level: 2
    Level completed: 48%, Points required for next Level: 26
    Overall activity: 99.7%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    58
    Points
    124
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Thoughts on going direct.

    Quote Originally Posted by mystique View Post
    I disagree. I'm also not referring to being direct, I'm discussing motive. Being direct/indirect and having a motive are two very different things. It's the motive that causes the 'tools' to be manipulative. I think you may be making this more complicated than it needs to be quite frankly. One doesnt have to be dependent on external reactions at all. A heart motive is what I was referring to to ascertain where one stands with his own authentic self and with regards to self improvement... to manipulate or not manipulate... to be alpha or pretend to be alpha... that is the question lol
    Sure motive is good if its your own.

  10. #20
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
    100 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    230
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 22 Times in 21 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Thoughts on going direct.

    Direct is but a way of stating your intentions at the start of the conversation - it doesn't mean you have to say exactly what you think if it's something along the lines of you getting a boner or something, but stating that you've been motivated to approach your target because she has caught your eye instead of manipulating her into thinking that that wasn't your main motive and that you only got attracted to her once you started talking to her, bullshit. I prefer going in direct, if I get blown out - okay great, you just saved me a lot of time and I made her feel better by validating her on her beauty while increasing my confidence by staying true to myself and having the balls to approach her in such a manner. Indirect is a good start, especially for aa and night clubs, but sooner or later moving towards making your intentions of the approach direct in the matter of seconds, should be second nature. I most certainly agree that sticking to Indirect Game too much is a sign of insecurity, I don't tend to frown upon it, due to the fact that I also tend to use it on some occasions (unlike in the past where it the only option I even considered), but as you walk further in your journey towards becoming better at this, your mind will most certainly evolve, and you'll most likely have a pretty different perspective on your game and how you should play it.


Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Direct Game
    By Playa in forum Common Pick Up Terms
    Replies: 14
    Last Thread: 01-18-2016, 01:32 PM
  2. How to be more direct?
    By Wolf24 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 06-13-2013, 12:48 PM
  3. Direct Approach
    By Playa in forum Common Pick Up Terms
    Replies: 20
    Last Thread: 01-25-2013, 12:11 PM
  4. Going Direct
    By chillout24 in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 04-20-2012, 12:29 AM
  5. Direct Day Game
    By kevin32 in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 8
    Last Thread: 06-26-2011, 05:17 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com