How to remove all neediness from your interactions with girls!
Hi, since i have to post something within 24 hours, here's some advice that might help some of you:
First of all - Neediness means you don’t trust in yourself and your own worth. You value the opinions of others over your own. You seek external approval of who you are and what you do.
Simply put, being needy is caring more about how people perceive you rather than how you perceive yourself. Because of it, your behaviors and actions will revolve around pleasing others rather than satisfying yourself.
Now, there’s a great way to remedy this:
It’s all about your Mindset, really. The thing I learned and personally do to remove all neediness from my interactions with girls, is that i go into the interaction with the mindset of “Whatever happens – happens”.
Let me explain. Most guys when they go out they have a certain goal in mind – to get laid or find a girlfriend! Having that goal will fuck up your whole evening, because you will be subconsciously imposing that goal onto every girl that you interact with during your evening. As a person, you can only control yourself – you can’t control others! Other people are going to do whatever the hell they were going to do anyway, and you can’t change that. That’s why having a goal that involves someone else is incredibly counterproductive! The girl will sense that you have an agenda, that you want something from her – and she will be right, because you DO!
That’s why going out with the mindset of “fuck it, whatever happens – happens” is incredibly liberating. You will be interacting with a ton of girls when you go out:
1 – If any interaction ends in a hook-up, date, etc – fucking amazing!
2 – If it ends in nothing but a friendly conversation – even better – because you can make new friends like that, take her phone number for later use to expand your social circle and so on! Or even because having a friendly conversation is actually NICE and enjoyable, because we are all people and it’s better than sitting home alone!
3 – If your interaction ends up with a totally brutal rejection or she screams at you out loud or slaps you, or whatever other incredibly, exaggeratedly bad thing that you can imagine happens – it’s perfectly fine too! – because you will get a lot of experience out of that, gain more reference points to your interactions, get a chance to calibrate yourself for LATER! All your bad interactions will eventually make you better, that’s how you LEARN.
4 – If your interaction ends up with you getting killed – what the fuck were you even doing? Snap out of it, get back to the real world, no one ever got killed trying to pickup a girl, unless she was simultaneously in the embrace of a huge redneck with a shotgun called Bubba, stop making up random outcomes or excuses not to talk to girls!
You see, with this mindset, every interaction is great and every outcome is agreeable, because you get something good out of all of them (ignore the 4th one, you weirdo). And if you convince your mind that you actually do feel like “fuck it, whatever happens happens”, you will notice that you will never again be needy with girls and they will be that much more attracted to you.
All of this is also called being outcome-independent.
Now, actually convincing yourself of this and getting into this mindset is the hard part… I’d write more on how to do it, but i don’t wanna write up a whole novel, since the subject is incredibly vast.
By the way, all of this can also be called being outcome-independent.
If you like my advice, check out my dating blog at www.saulisdating.com/blog.html