Yeah okay, thanks crob.
Yeah okay, thanks crob.
Okay, time for another update.
I was with the girl yesterday, and this time I just tried not to be submissive and try to do anything with her, as I know how that went last time. I just talked with her for one hour or something and we laughed and so on, but I still feel there was a lot of sexual Tension between us. I looked her in her eye, she would give me a "brush through hair" ioi, I would lie down in the bed, she would lie with her head on my chest.. We didn't kiss or have sex (although I wish we had) and I just did it cool. I can't really evaluate my own situation right now, because I don't really know where I am. I really hopes she still likes me a lot and eventually wants to be more than the "just friends" act she has going..
Crobinson if you have any thoughts feel free to give in.
lol thats funny that ur picking me out of everybody just to be like. hey crobinson you have thoughts please share.haha
Ok yeah well actually this is either a really good sign or really bad sign. you have to give me more of the type of conversation you guys had. Whether you were building rapport, attraction and comfort of being real with you and you not being judgemental. She probably is taking this to a new level.
She knows that she can get you in bed and so can other women but she is trying to also get your attention by stimulating you emotional. So what you can do for the next time you guys hang out is this.
--Prepare yourself might or might not be a huge analysis.--
Ok so first off if she is talking to you and laying her head on your chest she is obviously attracted to you physically and emotionally. If she was sticking you into the friends zone it would more be just laying in the bed next to each other possible intertrining your legs but you wanted to feel closer to you and do a sort of cuddle.
She wants you to comfort her and feel like you are the man and can protect her. Next, for the next interaction you want to do the same. Invite her over and have some laughs and all that and through those laughs and humor try to merge it into a role playing. I did this last night and omg, the chick is already treating me like a boyfriend. Try to move this into a husband and wife roleplaying.
Just start it off with a joke like " ok wifey. look here. we have to work on our relationship if you still want to keep me tied down and not divorce you." Then just be playful and try to move it into like a counseling thing. the way i did this was by "ok well love, if you want me to not divorce you we have to talk about some things" and something like that.
Then you guys can play the role and just say the usual things like "ok well first off you need to stop cheating on me so much, i know i have cheated on you more than a couple times but i always keep thinking that the grass on the other side is greener, but sometimes i find that our grass is pretty green". but after being playful you can sneek in the question like "ok well we also need to be honest and straight forward sometimes and stop beating around the bush, i tied you down cause i found you fun and attractive and i want to try and give us another chance for this marriage".
i mean im making these up quickly and i know they dont sound as good as i made them last night but there are just the type of examples. this will allow her to have fun and laugh at the roleplaying but it also keeps down resistance cause she is not being herself, she is trying to play the role of your wife, so the resistance of being more open is taken down. then try to see if you can build a deeper connection and then maybe end it will some sex.
Start it off a little passionate and then move into a little more of the usual stuff you guys do. I didnt really put my thoughts in order and laid out but im sure you get the point. You basically want to use roleplaying to build a connection and then try to see what she feels for you.
Last edited by Bill Preston; 04-29-2010 at 12:03 PM.
crob - i am going to edit your post.. (try to break it up as it is easier to read)
Great advice, Crobinson.
I don't care if your posts aren't structured, because they make a lot of sense to me.
I talked to her about lots of things:
I told her I was just coming over to bring some of my stuff (She loaned two of my sisters blouses), so when I arrived and went to her room I was like: "Where is the things?" and then said: "Thanks.." and walked out the door and she was like: "Do you have to leave? Can't you stay..?" and I responded: "Yeah well, now when you ask so nicely I can maybe stay for a couple of minutes.."
Then I said she was a lucky bastard because she is going to London this weekend.. Then we talked about the English essay I helped her with and teased her about the teacher writing: "Did you really write this, or did you get help?" Then we talked about acting, I asked her about how she knew she wanted to become an actor, she told me about the acting thing she is doing right now, about the characters and all, and I teased her because her character is like this mean bitch type and I just did the whole: "Hello girl! Behave, dah!!" and so on to make fun of her..
So all in all she laughed a lot and I feel that we connected and talked about a lot of emotional stuff. I already did the acting thing with the girl, role playing, where she were Little Red Riding Hood and I were the wolf when we had our first water-fight (not at the party) and yes, it ended in us having sex, so role playing definitely sparks up girls sexual circuits. She was a bit tired yesterday and I don't think she was up for an energetic role play session so I think it was fine we just talked and had fun and connected emotionally.
It's really hard to remember all our conversations, let alone write them up, but as you said she's probably still attracted to me. Now, I just have to find out what the next logical step is.
I'm thinking loud here.. Getting here over at my place and perhaps some water-fight, role-playing stuff again (as she definitely liked that, I did too btw :P) and then see what happens from there.
I don't really know how this is going to evolve, but I hope she'll soon be over the whole: "People judge me, I can't have any "thing" going on with any "guy"; therefore - go away." attitude.
The whole session where she said: "Remember, Anders. We are only friends." is still a bit stuck in my head, but I'm evolving and having a thick skin here. I'm the prize as you guys so nicely pointed out. "Care less for the girl and she'll care more for you." and so on.
Again, thanks for your advice crobinson. I'm asking you directly now as I know you've got valuable input and you've already helped me understand her immensely. Thanks for being a great online-matey
no doubt im here. And im sure when i have a problem im sure you will help me with a girl. good luck
If i could make a suggestion...
Don't do the water-fight thing again (at least for a while), like you pointed out she thinks "People judge me, I can't have any "thing" going on with any "guy"; therefore - go away."
My suggestion is take her to do things that are very social, and when you get there be super alpha, own your space, and just in general show that when people do judge her (as all people do) it is a positive judgment because of you. Doing this will raise her attraction to you a huge amount, because this is the only problem she has with dating you.
I haven't seen her all week, and I think she was getting bored with me, so I spiced things up today.
I texted her the other day, (Tuesday) and this was the conversation:
Me: "Do you like cocoa?"
Me: "Well, do you?"
Me: "+5 points ;-)"
Me: "Are you at the studio recording for the movie?"
3 hours later
Her: "No :-)"
Her: Sends a picture of her new piercing in her ear.
Me: "Haha, what up pirate ;-)"
Her: "Hehe :-)"
Her: "What's up?"
Me: "Hey Little Red Riding Hood... I thought we should meet in the park, but don't bring berry's it might upset the wolf ;-)" (makes more sense in danish)
Her: "I'm too scared."
Me: "You're too scared of cruising with me as well."
Her: "Yeah, I'm that afraid."
Me: "I have a message from my car: You're not welcome in the car before you apologize for last times waterfight!"
Her: "That's a petty :-)"
I went too far here and when I look at it retrospectively, I can see that this is AFC game not PUA stuff... That sucks..
Anyways.. Today, which is two days later, this is the conversation, which I think went a lot better.. It seems like she's a bit jealous..
Me: "What's up, brat?"
Her: "What's up with you brat??"
Me: "Crazy day today! I met a girl that looked exactly like you. I was a bit scared.. :-)"
Her: "Haha. Where? Who ;-)"
Me: "I was out grocery shopping again, playing mom again and then this girl didn't know what asparagus looked like so I just gave her a helping hand.. She's a blondie like you, haha ;-)"
Her: "Haha. But you didn't know that either ;-)"
Me: "Oh yes.. Don't forget I'm a genius now..Damn, it was so funny. But anyways, I'm going to bed.. Bye, bye brat"
Her: "Haha okay. I'm going to the city tonight ;-)"
And then I cut it from there, because it seems like she wants to make me jealous ;-)
What do you guys think.. Did I play it right tonight, any tips on how to move on.. Things are going very slow and haven't had sex with her for a week now... :P
What do you think crobinson? :P
lol everytime i see..what do u think crob. i cant help but think...yeah im the shit...haha jp.
ok well first things first, you are doing some things right but your also keeping to the usual talk but i like how you put in the thing about the other girl. the things that sucks is that she didnt take the bait. but here we go lets see if i can come up with some things.
First off, she likes to talk to you because you see all her smiley faces and haha's. thats usually an indicator that she is happy when she talks to you, but as far as being different you are kind of doing that correctly. You need to be different and help her remember you with positive feelings. So being different like saying 'what kind of mischeif are you up to today dork" instead of "how r u". things like that.
Next thing you need to do is build some rapport, make her feel like you guys have a lot in common. i find that the little silly things work the best. Its wierd that this one worked out cause i actually do this but the other day she was talking about being in bed, and we were talking. I asked her when she sleeps if she likes it cold or warm in the room. she said cold and then i was just like "holy crap that is creepy, im one of the few people i know that likes the room cold." then she went on to say how she like building a thing of pillows around her. So i went of a complete cold read and said some crap about how i do the same thing because it makes me feel so much more comfortable and then i called it the Fortress.. she was laughing and giggling and i knew i was building rapport, and comfort.
Last thing is you need to start building more sexual tension over text. I like doing the dirty dream cause i learned that and it works so well.
Heres an example:
Race: I had the dirtiest dream about you last night…
Note: You can add the OMG at the beginning and a (!) at the end to soften it if you are messaging a girl who you haven’t build too solid of a connection with. This shows you are surprised you had a dirty dream about her. You can also add BTW to make it more nonchalant like it’s no big deal.*
Tuesday, Dec 23 2008 at 5:51:20 PM
Julie: Really?…do tell…
Tuesday, Dec 23 2008 at 5:53:14 PM
Race: Well we were in the woods and it had been raining so we are both soaking wet when you fell in the mud and we began to mud wrestle…it was SO dirty!
Tuesday, Dec 23 2008 at 6:09:21 PM
Julie: Haha you are a dork to the core. You might want to take a shower after that one
One of the beauties of this technique is that by referencing a dream you now become free of responsibility. After all you can’t control your dreams. For that very reason it makes women even more curious! If you are in the so called “friend zone” with a girl you like this can be the spark that begins her thinking of you in a sexual way.
Another fantastic feature of this technique is you lead her into thinking sexual then you release it by using the literal meaning of “dirty”. She isn’t expecting this and it makes her laugh. But now when you take her back into the sexual state she will be more relaxed and receptive allowing her to get more aroused and invest more in the interaction!
Tuesday, Dec 23 2008 at 6:12:38 PM
Race: Did I mention how after I pinned you down mud wrestling I picked you up and pushed you against a tree and slowly began to slide my hand up your ribs under your clinging shirt?
Tuesday, Dec 23 2008 at 6:16:57 PM
Julie: Well damn…so you feel like going hiking or camping any time soon?
Tuesday, Dec 23 2008 at 6:20:13 PM
Race: I haven’t even told you how as I gently lifted your shirt over your head I stopped pinning your arms up and passionately kissed you using your shirt as an umbrella for us…I’m telling you this dream was DIRTY!
Tuesday, Dec 23 2008 at 6:25:54 PM
Julie: How is it that you just perfectly mixed being aggressive with being amazingly passionate and adorable…thats definitely a dream that should come true…
Wednesday, Dec 24 2008 at 8:11:21 AM
Julie: So i’m about to go to sleep finally and i keep thinking about the dream you had lol. Hopefully my dreams are that good…it would definitely be a better night if you were actually here though i must say. G’night peter pan!
As you can see this is a simple yet powerful technique you can use right away to move the conversation in a sexual direction. Women will not be able to look at you the same way. Often times they will continue to bring it up over and over. Have fun with this one