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  • 1 Post By T-Mal

Thread: Help me please, I am so lost

  1. #1
    MusicProducer914 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Unhappy Help me please, I am so lost

    I haven't been on here for a while. (Like months, probably years anyway....)
    I suck so bad. I wonder if there is a difference between low self esteem, and Approach Anxiety or are the two inter-related. Have girls lied to me and said I was cute, just to make me feel better? IDK!
    I am well educated, sophisticated (good in bed-good size blah blah blah) dress very well and I am fit. I am sure I expect you all to tell me I am a piece of shyt but I wish maybe for some better advice. Strangely, I almost feel like after I had a successful year or two at college (scoring many sexy babes) then finally got a girlfriend, I got too comfortable and I became to self conscious about approaching chicks. I swear at 19 years old before I had a girlfriend, I approached the hottest girls in town/college, without fear, I didn't even know what aa was. Now currently, I analyze everything. WTF happened to me. I am supposedly more successful with my career, more sophisticated, and more fit, WTF am I doing wrong. OK I know... I don't approach enough chicks, is it because I am too cute for them or do they think I am creepy? WTF I just need help it actually makes me depressed please gents I could use some advice. Do you just walk over introduce yourself and start to chat them up about BS? maybe I just don't remember how it is done. Please help. Desperate for help . I guess I am beyond AFC and more like (Ultimate)AFC. By the way 25 now and turn 26 in August. I suck at life. I could use advice from you successful guys with all your seduction game rapport neg whatever that is. Thanks much respect, you guys are the best. I wish I could just score a chick. I think I am just overanalyzing it. If i just see a cute chick I am just supposed to go say hi, game her if not interested then move on fast. I feel like I put the pretty ones on way too high a pedestal which I know is wrong. helppppp

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Help me please, I am so lost

    You're totally over thinking it.
    It should be FUN.

    Stop caring about the outcome & just learn to be sociable. That builds natural confidence.
    With confidence comes success.

    Start chatting or saying hello to everyone random person you can... Male of female, it doesn't matter. But it will begin to remove anxiety naturally.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    CavemanTactics is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Help me please, I am so lost

    You just have to start doing it and not caring. The way you look, how good your body is etc, doesn't matter. If you're not ugly you'll be fine. Just start talking to people at bars, chat to some girls about their night, what they like to do etc to get some confidence and then start doing the more advanced stuff. In my experience if you try to start with advanced techniques the moment you want to get into the game you come over insincere to women.

  4. #4
    Jaystyle001 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Help me please, I am so lost

    Dude just don't become an AFC.
    You seriously need to change your attitude.

  5. #5
    JackSarge's Avatar
    JackSarge is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help me please, I am so lost

    I may have been not the most well liked and someone is always giving me a rep comment "crappy advice" but let me tell you I am a badass. Let me remind you I game only 10's now. What I do doesn't work for everyone it works for me that's why I do it. I have reached an elite state of self-sufficiency not needing advice anymore. I am my own best teacher and coach.

    Got 3 dates from Facebook this year. Working on my 4th w a possible LTR.

    You guys are hitting on what I am hitting on lately
    Stop caring
    Stop giving AF

    but don't stop improving
    Don't give too much of no f's that's bad too.

    To the guy mentioned...
    I don't have these problems. I jumped right in. What is hard is not getting a chick. It is keeping her. The game is truly played not talking ONS, played by beating out the competition and winning the girl over.

    They right. Your Inner Game is huge. If you are hot and insecure ugly dudes steal your girl. I realize hot girls cannot be controlled by money, looks, things.

    I got a hot girl agreeing to an f-date in Bahamas and now St Paddy's with me. But there is a lot of pain and jealousy because she is into dating lots of guys after 10 year relationship and ex-engagement. So the only thing you can do is be a badass because chicks love a badass. Have a good time if you're doing that you have no time to worry about how well you're doing.
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack

  6. #6
    JackSarge's Avatar
    JackSarge is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help me please, I am so lost

    PUA guru's preach action, action, action like approaching will get you the b!tch. Umm no. I have made killer approaches. I have a rep for killer openers on killer sets. Getting numbers is so freaking easy I almost stopped. Trying to focus solely on the pull. What I preach is game. Game, game, game. That gets you the girl. Action don't mean sh!t when it is the wrong action over and over. Approaching like a friend means nothing. Getting the girl means everything. To get the girl you get in a relationship period. To date that you play the game. To play the game you learn how it's played.

    First step go out, approach, and close the rest will follow
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack

  7. #7
    Mike413 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help me please, I am so lost

    It sounds like the OP cares too much about the outcome and as someone in a certain movie once put it is "putting the p***y on a pedestal."

    Here's the thing. No action equals no results(that's a guarantee). Taking action doesn't guarantee results but it will get you closer. The more action you take while being confident and not caring about the outcome will get you closer to getting the kind of results you want. Each action builds on the last. Another thing to remember is to pay attention to her and her response. You probably won't need to worry about rejection much if you pay attention to the reaction of the woman. If you are getting less than strong IOIs(indicators of interest) from her(ie lots of eye contact, touching etc)then you know not to escalate or ask for her number or possibly even continue the interaction(that depends if there are other women around you would rather talk to or feel you have a better chance with). It's all trial and error. When you make a mistake write it down and learn from it. There are always going to be teachable moments in all your interactions.


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