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  1. #1
    redstar1324 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default These guys just showed me why I'm not getting any...

    I'm at a bar right now, doing my best to figure out my issues and make progress... Even when I feel confident, I noticed that it's all in my head because I still don't talk...

    These other guys walked in, full of energy, testosterone, etc... And were nothing but nice and friendly... They chatted with the bartenders and got them all excited to meet then again... Exchanging Snapchat, etc....

    Me, on the other hand, am naturally EXTREMELY introverted... And I also remembered today that I had been diagnosed with something called "Schizoid Personality Disorder," at one point... Which is characterized by a tendency to retract from social situations and not desire to form relationships with people... I know this isn't a mental health forum so I don't expect good answers to that one... I was the kid in class who always stared at the desk, etc.... And didn't say much....

    YOLO, so this is not going to cure itself... But even a professional counselor would tell you that personality disorders are very hard to fix...

    The other guys were so extroverted, friendly, yet strong and true to themselves, and not creeps or weirdos.... I wish I could have some of their attributes, but if I were to admit or think they were better people than me, what would that do for my self esteem, self image, or self perception as an "alpha," male.....

  2. #2
    NMID is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: These guys just showed me why I'm not getting any...

    Whatsup man,

    Three things I can read from your post which is easily improved in my opinion.

    First, you gotta stop comparing yourself so much with other guys. Instead focus on improving your day to day life and it will reflect heavily on your game. You'll think less of if they like you and more if you like them.

    Second, you think too much. Wether you're aware of it or not most mental issues or personality disorders are just thinking to much warping your reality and thought pattern. Distance yourself from those habits by training your focus through meditation or whatever distracts and engages that mind of yours(for me, playing music, making money or extreme sports). Distance yourself from that noise.
    Which also relates heavily with the next point...

    Third is you lack confidence.
    Figuratively, those guys are playing in their field man. Maybe you need a different one that isn't exactly hypersocial like in a club. Doing whatever quiets or distances you from your internal chatter will also improve your confidence especially when you start to notice that you get better at it. And eventually you might make a few buddies you can have a drink with and be obnoxious loud and testosterony with in the bar.

  3. #3
    redstar1324 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: These guys just showed me why I'm not getting any...

    If I were to run from bars and clubs, I would be doing just that... Running...

    I have confidence in one thing... My sexual abilities...

    I'm not the best at "small talk," or "chit chat,"... But yes, perhaps over thinking the whole thing...

  4. #4
    NMID is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: These guys just showed me why I'm not getting any...

    You wouldn't be running man, you'd be getting experience in different settings. Bars are one of the easiest since people go there to blow some steam. Just drop all that heavy pressure and just go have fun. Try a pool(billiards?) bar, challenge someone and just relax and have a game.

    If you're confident in that area man, use that Mindset to actually be confident. Most people are confident in everything but that area, so feel free man. Just don't be overtly sexual if you can't handle the stress that comes with it. Save it for when you're isolated, so the girl can at least keep some of her dignity.

    Just relax man, take it easy. But don't be a wuss. If you're going for it, commit. Don't get emotionally attached, or distressed(salty) when they say no though.

    You'll be fine man, give it time.

  5. #5
    alphabeta is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: These guys just showed me why I'm not getting any...

    Hi Red Star

    Being Introverted is not the end of the World, as Extovert people sometimes make some very bad decisions, while Introvert people tend to think things through, though sometimes a bit too much as has been said.

    Believe it or not, you are not alone as I also have exactly the same thing as you!

    Though notice I'm not calling it a 'Problem'

    I don't like Crowds and don't like People near me and as for being Sociable then forget it because I am not, as I enjoy my own Company far more than I do of other People.

    Although there is a bit more to it than that, as I am not Anti Social all the time.

    I've got lots of Friends but like to keep them at arms length and I've also got girls that I can ring up and take out, whenever I want.

    So I'm very content and happy, just the way I am as that way I can be Selfish and do what I want, whenever I want, without being Selfish to others.

    That's the way I like it and I wouldn't change a thing, simply because I have never been one that likes to follow the Crowd.
    The Power in a Relationship always goes to the one who cares the least


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