I've started writing a guest blog on iamstaggered.com - a site to do with mens' wedding issues (stag parties, best man speeches etc...). I'm challenging the readers to follow my blog for a year and am 'guaranteeing' that by the end of it they won't be single anymore.
I thought I'd repost the first article for your interest and amusement
Welcome to the Batchelor-Buster blog! Over the next weeks and months I’ll be presenting short, informative articles designed to radically change the way you conduct your dating life.
Contrary to the usual wishy-washy dating advice out there, I won’t bore you with vague exhortations to “just be yourself”, “be confident” and “be funny”. I’ll give you specific, tried and true techniques that will, if followed, turn your dating life around.
Whether you’re single and looking for that special someone or just want to increase your options with women, I’ll teach you how to take charge of your dating life and become the selector.
Sounds pretty enticing right?
But there’s a catch…
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. – Einstein
Mark, a good friend of mine, is chronically single. He’s unsatisfied with the type of women he meets and always seems to fall into relationships of convenience with women that don’t really inspire him. Mark dates women from two main sources, his workplace and social circle. In fact, this is where most of us assume we’ll find our partners.
The problem is that Mark’s choices are very limited. His dating life is out of his control; with such a passive approach to dating he is forced to rely on Fate, Cupid or blind luck to send an attractive, single woman across his path. It’s much like a caveman hunting deer by standing still in a forest and hoping some poor creature will run onto his spear by sheer chance!
What if Mark had the skill and confidence to strike up a conversation with any woman, in any situation? What if he could approach the cute brunette in the queue at the coffee shop, or the arty redhead on the tube? What if he could actually meet, have an interesting conversation and set up a date with the kinds of attractive women he sees around him every day? His options would be limitless!
Well, that’s what I propose to discuss in this blog: the skills, habits and mindsets required to actually take charge of your dating life and create some choice for yourself.
Earlier, I mentioned a catch and here it is: change. If you want to change the results of your dating life, you’ll need to change what you put into it. I’ll be suggesting specific changes that may challenge you. Most of us tend towards homeostasis and resist change but I encourage you to consider that if what you’re doing right now isn’t working, what have you got to lose by trying something different?
First Things First
Let’s finish with a quick exercise to work out the kind of woman you want. Now, at times (such as at 2am in a Friday night bar after a stiff drink or six), I might feel like just about any pretty girl with a pulse and a cute smile could be a candidate for my time and affection, but in my higher moments I have been known to hold to some form of standards!
These flashes of refinement and discernment, however rare, are actually a necessity to being successful in dating. On a more serious note, as you follow this blog and start changing the way you conduct your love life, your options will increase so much that you’ll need standards to choose which women to get to know better.
I’m not going to ask you to list the physical attributes that you find sexy in a woman. For most guys this is a no-brainer, our bodies tell us right away if we’re physically attracted to a woman or not. Physical attractiveness is very important and is the entry requirement for a woman to qualify for a date with you. But there are throngs of gorgeous women out there who measure up on a purely physical level – many more than you could possible date in a lifetime. We’ll need to deepen our search if we want to sort through this bounty of beauties to find the right match.
Let’s list eight non-physical qualities that you look for in a woman. Whether you want someone who is enthusiastic about travel, sexually confident and open-minded or a great cook, write them down. A man who clearly knows what he wants tends to get what he wants.
Save this list, you’ll need it for later blog installments.
Next time we’ll discuss easy and effective ways to start a conversation with any woman in any situation. We’ll look at some great opening lines and reveal the oh-so-common mistakes that cause most men to send women running!
Until then,Steve Jones, AKA Keychain