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  1. #1
    Snack Guest

    Default approach vs opening

    I feel like these two concepts are different:

    I'm a noob at this PUA stuff, but I've been studying it quite obsessively this last week and finally got a chance to go out and get some practice. I decided to go to a mall, not only so I could find some clothing for my alpha personality, but also because I didn't feel like going to a club and essentially paying money to fail.

    I immediately came across a dilemma: my openers don't feel like openers. I've tried them on a few people I know here and there and they were successful, but I feel what I'm using is more useful for leading a conversation, inserting DHVs and gaining rapport. Maybe I'm totally wrong, but these openers I read from PUAs seem more appropriate as A2 material. Here's what I have:

    Jealous Girlfriend
    Who's more deceptive, guys or girls? (altered "lies"; I have an interesting personal story)
    Little Sister Wants a Tattoo
    Is Herman a Deal-Breaker name?
    Is David Bowie Hot?

    I just end up thinking "who would actually want to stand there with this complete stranger and listen to his story?" because personally, I wouldn't want to. I'd farking hate it if some guy or girl just randomly interrupted my day to talk to me about this dumb Sh1t (though I guess I wouldn't mind as much if it was a hot chick). It's like "why are you asking me? Don't you have any friends?" It immediately seems lame to me. It conveys a sense of neediness, like I need other people's opinions or I need someone to talk to. This girl from work instantly comes to mind; she talks to me about the stupidest Sh1t and it has less to do with liking me and more to do with her being desperate for attention. I find myself gravitating toward situational openers like:

    I like your jacket! Kinda makes you look like a lumberjack.
    When you bought your jeans, did they already have holes in them?
    Omg! Your socks are so colorful!
    You're very little (go into story about my mom pointing out tall women to me)

    I realize now that this would be commenting on their pea-cocking, which only goes to show how effective the technique is because it feels so much more comfortable. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to use their clothes as an opening for myself and then throw in my "openers" while using the right body language to move into a set. I've also been thinking of profound/absurd openers like this one:

    "Are you familiar with the game? This game... we're playing a game right now. Tell me, what is the meaning of life?"

    Which kinda fits my personality a bit more because I say some really weird Sh1t. Bringing up those other "openers" out of nowhere just feels so awkward to me because I get the feeling I'm conveying way too much interest just by giving them attention. I understand I'm initially going to start off with less value (and then shift her perceived value of herself in relation to me), but how do I get her attention without appearing interested? Is the answer "if you're opening, you're going to seem interested no matter what" and "by buffering your openers with IODs, she'll let her guard down" or are these alternatives I've posted more effective?

  2. #2
    Salaami Guest

    Default Re: approach vs opening

    You are confusing day game with night game.

    The openers you made up yourself are better for day game (in my opinion) and the canned ones you tried are better for night game.

    Most people say direct openers are better for day game but I disagree because I like situational openers the most, they lead into the best conversations, plus I find it boring to walk around having the same conversations with every hot girl out there even if I do kclose them.

    So how do you get her attention without appearing interested? Well if that is what you are going for then it's very complex. The trick to doing something like that is going to be in every single little detail of your opener, forget about your opener being a one line sentence, it's really the first part of your conversation.

    Openers for me last around 8-20 seconds, the idea of them is to make her comfortable with your presence (just enough so you can stay and talk, there is more comfort building required later). I have had openers that go from me complimenting something she is wearing, to asking to borrow a chair, one opener was just me saying hi to some girls my friend was talking to and ending up kclosing one of them. Any basic sentence can be an opener, but whatever it is it needs to lead into a conversation, if you say an opener and don't Phase Shift then you are going to be stuck saying, "And uh, cya." and you won't ever get any farther. So what I'm saying is the trick to openers isn't the first part of the opener, its the lead into another conversation.

    Lets go down the examples I gave:
    Me: Hey, my sister has that dress! Did you copy her?
    Her: What? I bought this dress like 5 months ago.
    Me: Oh sure, I'm going to go home and tell my sister you stole her dress.
    Her: No! Haha what is your name?
    Me: Jim, and yours?

    Me: Hey can I borrow this chair?
    Her: Yea sure.
    Me: Really? So in five minutes you arent going to come and make me give it back?
    Her: No haha why would i do that?
    Me: Well I don't know, what if a friend of yours shows up and demands that you get her a chair.
    Her: Well I guess I would come and steal your chair then.
    Me: I knew it! So whats your name? Mines Jeff.

    Me: Hey bro whats up.
    Him: Not much you?
    Me: Just chillin, so who are you talking to?
    Her: Sarah

    In all of these I can move on to talk about whatever I want! And the best part is it's not awkward at all, this is because I am a high energy person, she knows my name, and no guy has ever had this conversation with her before.

    Hope I helped,

  3. #3
    Coyote Guest

    Default Re: approach vs opening

    yeah there is definitely a different vibe by day than by night. i guess its important to feel your way in. different scenes by day and at night the same scene will play out differently depending upon a whole lot of factors. i gotta stay authentic cos otherwise it wont work. smartass wiseguy antics aren't from the heart and whilst i can use them to get the ball rolling early in the piece i have to be communicating as me... from my heart source.

    it might mean i go in with an opener that is my mask but i find it difficult to keep the mask or persona up for long and i certaintly cant have sex as the persona... that sorta gets me wondering and i guess its a bit icky that one.....

    communication once i have approached and opened, well once i am really conversing i wanna be talking as me and she wants to imagining what it would be like....

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