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  1. #1
    Budco83 Guest

    Question How to approach girl I work with? Too busy for convo.

    Whats up, I'm sort of a newby so maybe this is basic.. we'll see. To the point. I just started a job at a resturaunt a week and a half ago. I work in the back but I was sweeping the front by the hostess and had some good conversation with her for about 15 minutes. (I obviously failed to close or I wouldnt be typing this right now.) Afterwards, anytime I seen her there was eye contact and she seemed overly smiley and gitty. I played it cool and went on about my business. The next night I was sure I was going to get her # but I was too busy to start any conversation, (just a hey, how you doin?) she got cut 2 hours into the shift because we were over-staffed. I havnt seen her since because she only works weekends. She will be there tomorrow and saturday and I'm unsure how to approach if I'm too busy to initiate a real conversation like we had the 1st night. I thought about going up to her and just asking her if she has a cell phone and taking a 'yes' as a go ahead and hand her my phone and tell her 'lets hang out'. Too direct? Suggestions please. Any help is greatly appreciated.. okay nevermind that.. PLEASE HELP! lol

  2. #2
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to approach girl I work with? Too busy for convo.

    lol well first off i would like to say welcome to the community.

    OK so well i usually go like shitting where i work cause shit can always end up bad, but i mean if you want to try it go for it. Well best thing is to figure out what time her shift starts and if its before your i would say go in a little early and just have a quick talk, the time constraint you would really give yourself is that you have to work. So she would understand, idk though cause knowing some newbies the worst thing they can do is pull a number and have to be around the girl all night. i would keep an eye on her throughout the night and then maybe talk to her right before she is going to leave and pull her number then, it doesnt make it awkward and you guys dont have to see each other all night. and if you guys get off early enough you can take her out with some coworkers and grab a drink or a bite to eat.

    I would just talk to her naturally and then just tell her, "hey you seem really cool, we should exchange numbers and ill invite you out one night". that would be very simple, and direct. It seems like that what you wanted if not direct than we can go into a big huge ellaborate game.

    First off, for indirect. you can talk and tease and false disqualify her. This shows that you have standards and she needs to live up to them. Next thing is to know a couple of the guys and girls you work with and plan a night to go out and have a drink so we you do invite her, you can get her number to give her directions and tell her what you guys decided on. Then when you get to that venue you wanted to build attraction by talking to her, building rapport, sexual tension, using Kino and then qualifying her making her feel like you like the person she is and that she is unique. After that its just a matter of keeping her interested, having fun. fuck closing and kiss closing. not in that order though. haha
    I live in my reality and you’re a guest

  3. #3
    Budco83 Guest

    Default Re: How to approach girl I work with? Too busy for convo.

    Hey, thanks for the quick response! I don't mind sh1ttin where I work, even if I fail, I'll just play it cool. haha They all love me up there. Anyway, she starts at the same time I do, if I get the chance I'll talk to her. I'll probably go the direct route as I'm not up to speed on the indirect yet. I have a lot to learn. I want to take swift action tho, to avoid Approach Anxiety.. ya know? Plus I think girls appreciate a guy who doesnt mess around and goes for it.. right?

  4. #4
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to approach girl I work with? Too busy for convo.

    lol see thats not true...girl love having fun. if they have fun with direct or indirect, they will like it. Some girls like it to be direct and others like indirect. If you want to learn about women to there very core, check out my post on cold reading and pandoras box. that will help you a lot with what women like and what they are like to the very core.
    I live in my reality and you’re a guest

  5. #5
    Budco83 Guest

    Default Re: How to approach girl I work with? Too busy for convo.

    Well I blew a golden oppurtunity tonight but she left with a big smile so I at least I didnt blow it with her for good. When I say 'golden' I mean just that. When I say 'blew it' I mean that too.. haha I didnt get a chance to talk to her all night but then I was pulling trash and she was getting off work, She waited by her car for me to come back from the dumpster. She smiles and waves right, we had a brief conversation and she looked like she was waiting for me to ask her but my Approach Anxiety kicked my ass. She left but was all smiles as she pulled off. Tomorrow it's mandatory to just do it.. but I probably wont see an oppurtunity like tonight so I'll have to take what I can get. Any more help is appreciated and I'm going to study up tonight and make a gameplan for tomorrow. I'd be more mad at myself if I dont do it then if I fail.

  6. #6
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to approach girl I work with? Too busy for convo.

    lol well obviously she was waiting for you. so how about next time you get over the aa and ask her out. Lol you dont even really need to open her to get her interest. Ask her to have a drink or a snack after work and thats where you will work your magic. but yeah totally blew it, if you noticed that you should have just said to yourself. "yeah she wants a piece of me in her life"... that will make you comfortable and get you to think yeah no need to be nervous cause she wants to talk to me. lol
    I live in my reality and you’re a guest

  7. #7
    Budco83 Guest

    Default Re: How to approach girl I work with? Too busy for convo.

    Hey, thanks a million for your help! I know, shes allowing me to skip the hard part of opening and I still blew it! I'll let you know how tomorrow goes and if I dont do it, please track me down and slap the wuss outta me! lol But really, I'm confident that I will just do it because it's a must now. Thanks.

  8. #8
    Matrix Guest

    Default Re: How to approach girl I work with? Too busy for convo.

    Bro, I macked the hell out of Applebees years ago...

    I worked as a server and we had a heap of hotties. I learned early on that things were fairly fast-paced and you had to keep a fun vibe...

    It's super easy to mack in a restaraunt (even if you work in the back)

    2 things to remember in this particular situation

    1. social value

    2. cocky/funny vibe


    How a back-of-the-house employee attains high value

    The cooks would always fuck with us servers, telling us they were out of ribs or we had to re-do our orders because the ticket didn't show up in the back. They'd really fuck with us and try to make us look bad, sometimes they'd get a rise out of us. Do stuff like that, but be careful not to over do it. If you go to far you'll look like a douche and possibly get fired.

    If you can keep a fun, high-status vibe you can attract a lot of chicks at work.

  9. #9
    Budco83 Guest

    Default Re: How to approach girl I work with? Too busy for convo.

    Hey, thanks Matrix. I already seem to have the social value, all the girls there love me. But unfortunatley about 75% of them are 5's and under. I def agree with the c & f but have trouble applying sometimes. I seem to do much better using it with the 5's. lol And I have been practicing on them and I think the target (8.5) has noticed. Maybe why shes showing interest..? I have a clear view of my boundaries as to avoid any trouble with work so that wont be an issue. I'm 99% sure if I just ask the girl, she'll give me the #. You guys have any advice on rapport? I couldnt find too many articles or posts on it. Shes a hostess so I see her less than the servers. It would have to be brief. And how does this sound as a possible routine (General idea, improvise with any changes she makes):

    Me: Whats up
    Her: hey
    Me how're you doin?
    Her: good
    Me: Really? Its an hour into this shift and I'm ready to go. ha
    Her: (blah blah whatever)
    Me: It's too bad they keep me busy, I dont get much chance to talk but you seem pretty cool. You gotta cell phone?
    Her: yeah
    Me: (hand her my phone) Here, call your phone real quick. {Maybe we can} or {Lets} hang out sometime.

    Please feel free to criticize, critque, or approve this routine. I leave at 4:30 today so a quick response would be cool. haha If not I'll still be interested in your thoughts. Thanks.

  10. #10
    Matrix Guest

    Default Re: How to approach girl I work with? Too busy for convo.

    Quote Originally Posted by Budco83 View Post
    Hey, thanks Matrix. I already seem to have the social value, all the girls there love me. But unfortunatley about 75% of them are 5's and under. I def agree with the c & f but have trouble applying sometimes. I seem to do much better using it with the 5's. lol And I have been practicing on them and I think the target (8.5) has noticed. Maybe why shes showing interest..? I have a clear view of my boundaries as to avoid any trouble with work so that wont be an issue. I'm 99% sure if I just ask the girl, she'll give me the #. You guys have any advice on rapport? I couldnt find too many articles or posts on it. Shes a hostess so I see her less than the servers. It would have to be brief. And how does this sound as a possible routine (General idea, improvise with any changes she makes):

    Me: Whats up
    Her: hey
    Me how're you doin?
    Her: good
    Me: Really? Its an hour into this shift and I'm ready to go. ha
    Her: (blah blah whatever)
    Me: It's too bad they keep me busy, I dont get much chance to talk but you seem pretty cool. You gotta cell phone?
    Her: yeah
    Me: (hand her my phone) Here, call your phone real quick. {Maybe we can} or {Lets} hang out sometime.

    Please feel free to criticize, critque, or approve this routine. I leave at 4:30 today so a quick response would be cool. haha If not I'll still be interested in your thoughts. Thanks.
    don't ask her if she has a cell phone, comes off low-value. you know she has a cell so just tell her to program her number in your cell.


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