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  1. #1
    TheApostle is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Hoop theory? Controlling the frame.

    1) My understanding of Hoop Theory is that PUAs must never do what a female interest has asked oneself to do unless they do it for us first? Does it apply only to material things or does this also apply to her questions. For instance, she asks "where do you work?" do I say "I would like you to tell me where I work, but I'm more interested in yours?". And then after she answers one question we're allowed to jump through 2 of her hoops...because it seems that whatever question they ask, if I always ask them to answer me first and it gets awkward.


    2) Mystery said a PUA must always be leading the conversation. But does that mean they should be doing most of the talking as well? As of yet, I I lead and talk through 80% of the conversation. I think that shows neediness. Or should it be the other way round, I simply lead the questions and direct them while the ladies do 80% of the talking. Who should do most of the talking?

    3) Controlling the frame. This happened on facebook game. A girl with a halloween costume display picture looooooooooooong after halloween.

    Me: Hey,

    Looking good. The blood smeared across your face and your black teeth remind me of my ex.

    Her:

    Did you pick her up at a halloween party or somthing?? lol


    Me: I like cheesecake, debating and talking to zombies in my spare time...u?


    Now, I'm still learning and that could be improved. My question is, she reacted to my statement about her black teeth and blood joke. Was me switching the topic "I like....u?" controlling the frame? Would answering her question "Did you pick her up at...?" have been the wrong approach and would it be falling into her frame? Mind we don't know each other and that was the first contact...


    Also about frames:

    HB has rarely initiates chat with me, so I go:

    Me: OMG, you won't believe what I saw last night!

    HB: What?!!

    Me: I saw a cat and dog fighting but the dog was sh1t scared of the cat. The cat chased the dog and the dog fell into a sewer. The SPCA had to come rescue it.

    HB: ahahhahaha

    Me: So did you clean up your room like you said you would?

    Her: Yup, did that in the morning.

    Me: You're so diligent...that's it we're breaking up!

    HB: Huh??

    What do you mean?

    Me: You can keep the cat, I'll keep the house and car...

    Then she didn't reply.

    Welcome back, I thought that me saying "you're so diligent...we're breaking up!" was controlling the frame?? Comments please.


    Thanks in advance

  2. #2
    JaxGallant Guest

    Default Re: Hoop theory??? controlling the frame??? leading the convo???

    instead of qualifying yourself to her, make her qualify herself to you... your opener was great though. good thinking.

    you can be like

    "you seem like a fun, energetic person what's two interesting things about yourself?" This FORCES her to start qualifying herself to you.

  3. #3
    tcomea2 is offline PUA Forums VIP Member
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    Default Re: Hoop theory??? controlling the frame??? leading the convo???

    It's more of a role play but that works for frame control. I use the " we could never work " bit alot. It makes them qualify themselves to me. Like if I said we could never work your not adventerous enough for me she will most likely try to prove she is. This is qualifying. I try to avoid asking questions as much as possable except an opener. AFC s ask alot of questions. Pua s lead the conversation.

  4. #4
    TheApostle is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Hoop theory??? controlling the frame??? leading the convo???

    Quote Originally Posted by tcomea2 View Post
    . Pua s lead the conversation.
    What's the difference between leading the conversation and asking questions? Asking questions is also a form of leading the conversation, is it not?

  5. #5
    tcomea2 is offline PUA Forums VIP Member
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    Default Re: Hoop theory??? controlling the frame??? leading the convo???

    It seems try hard. If you playing the question game it something like that I understand. This is my opinion but I think it shows two much intrest. If you are starting each thread with a question it telegraphs and makes you seem boring. Where as if you start a new thread with a dvh story and tell it well it's going to almost force her to do the same this will cause her to invest in you and make it harder to flake later.

    I'm not saying that you can't follow up something with a question, I just don't open a thread with one.


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