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  1. #1
    checkmeout Guest

    Default How to approach her, at work

    Hi there, I am writing from Paris France,
    Got a question on how to approach this girl at work.
    She basically comes to have lunch in my company restaurant every day, a 12:00.
    She does not work here, she's from another company.
    I noticed her, and I think she did notice me, few eyes contacts and smiles.
    I iniated a "bonjour" :-), hi, and she responded well to it, so basically everyday we have our daily "Bonjour" when we meet. I call her the "bonjour girl".
    Well..That's it!!! it's been like that for almost a month, many co-workers told me that there was something, but I just did'nt do anything, and don't know what to do, how to get to the next level.
    One of the reasons of my non-action, except the fact that I realized that I was a bit shy, usualy I am not, it's the face that she is never alone, always with her co-workers, and so, not easy to talk to her.
    Also talking to her at work, not easy with my co-workers around...
    One last thing, I already have a girlfriend...I guess it's blocking me too .... so if you have any idea...
    Almost forgot...as I am quite good with computers, I managed to find her on facebook!! I wanted to write to her on facebook, but I am scared that she thinks I am this weirdow who has been looking for her on the net...
    thanks for your help in advance!
    Au revoir!! :-)

  2. #2
    BadMedicine Guest

    Default Re: How to approach her, at work

    finding people on FB is no longer considered 'stalkerish' especially if you're "known" to her for about a month. Just be quaint and to the point and say you've been admiring her from afar but thought you might be overstepping your 'professional' relationship talking to her at work or in front of her collegues. Tell her you'd liek to get to know her and ask her to something not super date like, like a coffee somewhere OTHER than where you work. Inviting her for a game of pool or darts is pretty low-pressure to, just be fun with it, I bet she'll reply and you can build there.

    At work I used to say "I'm probably not supposed to be talking to girls at work but I noticed some non-sexual chemistry (they always laugh at that if said with a little grin, or emphasis on the "NON-sexual" because its kinda a disclaimer or easy way out, while still bringing it up..) and think you seem like a nice person I'd like to get to know." might tell her you notice she 'coincidently' keeps coming to the palce YOU work and ask if she has anything to do with the selecting of where they'll be dining. Keep it short, and even if its a no go you'll have somewhere to start without losing face at work!

  3. #3
    Coyote Guest

    Default Re: How to approach her, at work

    Quote Originally Posted by BadMedicine View Post
    finding people on FB is no longer considered 'stalkerish' especially if you're "known" to her for about a month. Just be quaint and to the point and say you've been admiring her from afar but thought you might be overstepping your 'professional' relationship talking to her at work or in front of her collegues. Tell her you'd liek to get to know her and ask her to something not super date like, like a coffee somewhere OTHER than where you work. Inviting her for a game of pool or darts is pretty low-pressure to, just be fun with it, I bet she'll reply and you can build there.

    At work I used to say "I'm probably not supposed to be talking to girls at work but I noticed some non-sexual chemistry (they always laugh at that if said with a little grin, or emphasis on the "NON-sexual" because its kinda a disclaimer or easy way out, while still bringing it up..) and think you seem like a nice person I'd like to get to know." might tell her you notice she 'coincidently' keeps coming to the palce YOU work and ask if she has anything to do with the selecting of where they'll be dining. Keep it short, and even if its a no go you'll have somewhere to start without losing face at work!
    good one. the workplace has experienced some change in the last few decades. political correctness, office politics, the glass ceiling... have all played their part in what was once not done and now things that are done, and the accepted ways that we go about them.

    i worked in catholic run private hospital and i should have had so many opportunities. it was not so though. i struck up a friendship with a HR manager who was a HB9 and that went a bit deeper into a friendship out of hours, online, and when we both left. i sabotaged that one but the other HB9, the brunette, that i wanted a crack at in this workplace; i just could not get a clear shot at.

    over 5 years it went from conversation getting coffee and the divisions between where she worked in the hospital and where i did were too hard.

    i did approach her on facebook after i left just to say it was a shame and she wrote back quite positively. i think i was just leaving the door open in case i see her around town some time cos i would love to


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