Hey guys I have been doing some study on inner game and natural game again through some products from the great guys at the social man. One of the things I wanted to pass on was a concept that is known through psychology as the cognitive reality loop. The basic principle of it is that you have a reality that is your own. You develop your reality by observing your environment and interpreting it. What you see and what you observe then affects your expression (both verbal and nonverbal). Your expression in return will affect the final step in the loop which is the feed back you will receive from the people around you. This is basic psychology but I think it is incredibly relevant to running proper game. Reason being is that if we break this down what it does is create a situation where you are in control of your state, and where you are in control of the interactions you are involved with. Im not going to regurgitate what Nick and Christian say word for word, or try to steel their theory here, but I am going to state my interpretation of what this mean to me.
I was always told growing up that the choices we make in life affect the outcome of events. I think this is totally true here. Reaons being is that I think you can choose your outlook and you attitude. I harp on inner game and frame control on this board all the time and always tell guys that they must work on their selves before they can run proper game. This is why: The way you choose to view the environment around you will affect your words, and nonverbal communication. When I walk into a room if I have a poor attitude regarding the night or the possible outcomes of the night I will not be successful. This is due to me taking an observation of the environment in a negative way. In return my verbal and nonverbal will throw a negative connotation on the interactions I have. Whereas if I walk in a room with a smile on my face, and the attitude that Iím going to have fun and enjoy the evening with people and make some new friends then Im going to have a higher rate of success simply cause my verbal and non verbal are going to scream that I am a fun person to be with and want to have a good time.
Letís take this a step further: If you see a HB10 and your first reaction is no way am I good enough for her, well guess what your not and you already lost. However if you say to yourself she is a beautiful woman, and I want to get to know her better and I deserve to do so then you are on a path for success. As style would say: you must remove your limiting beliefs in order to find success with women.
This is what we call game. The words coming out your mouth, your body language. This must be congruent with you observations of you environment or you will look fake. And women will see right through to your shallow self. Learn to line up your observations with your expressions and you will see an increase in your success.
This is basic, how the people around you react to your expression. However, when a woman tries to frame grab, or challenge your outlook it can affect your outlook or observation. If it puts you in a better state, let her do it. However, if it takes you down maintain your stronger frame and withstand her attack on it. Women will do this just to see how strong you are, itís a pure Sh1t Test. Donít fall prey to her attack.
Here is the deal guys, we must realize that our attitude about ourselves is the most important thing to work on. Game is not just an opener, comfort building and a fclose that we should strive for. But we should strive to make ourselves better as men, and in return make the women we interact with better. I think I was David D who said always leave her better then you found her. I agree 100%. If you are in this for selfish gratification this post isnít for you. But if you are in it for the betterment of yourself and others, and if better experiences with women are a result then I welcome you to my reality and my out look.
Thanks again to Nick Sparks and Christian Hudson for introducing me to this idea and helping my game out tremendously.