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  1. #1
    pua4sx Guest

    Post Seducing a co-worker

    Hi Guys,

    I am new to this, and I would like some feedback on my latest attempt at seducing a co-worker. I learned PUA techniques only from reading on the internet, so I am not an expert. Nevertheless, here we go: she is a nice ~30 year old woman, and I am about 20 years older than her. Well, she has a bf, but always complains about him, so I think she will eventually toast him.
    This has been going on for 5 months now. In the beginning, I was able to flirt with her a lot, she would sustain my eye contact, blush, go after me frequently with work excuses, etc. Then, after she talked to me with her legs spread out in my direction, I invited her for a lunch date and she agreed. In this first date, she was very nervous, and appeared to calm down only when we arrived back. Thus we only had a good time and that was it. She agreed to another lunch date, this time she was relaxed and in the end of it I teased her saying it was her turn to pay - which she did. Than I kissed her on the cheek thank you, and she reciprocated. In the end she kissed me again in the cheek. On the third date, I intertwined her fingers in mine, we held hands for a short period,I laid my hand in her leg, I caressed her butt, etc. But did not actually go for "the kiss". Thing is, since she works with me, I was concerned about pushing forward too much and create problems at work. And also because a clear opportunity for a "first kiss" did not seem to arise, and because she failed a kiss test - the hair one. Anyway, I felt bad about it with myself and two days later, I decided to go for it, regardless. When I found her in the hallway, I grabbed her, brought her inside a room in the cafeteria, kind of in a polite but very assertive manner, and when I found her inside, I stared at her and went towards her. However, she mildly resisted and I decided not to pursue it further. Later I read we should not do any sudden movements with girls - I was only trying to go for it - you guys say that when we are in doubt, we should go! Well, I went! That is what confused me. Anyway, I then disappeared for a month. I e-mailed her only once during this period, but she did not reply. When I reappeared, we talked nicely, and I eventually invited her for a fourth date, which she agreed. However, on the last fifteen minutes, as I was talking to her in person, she tried to LJBF with me, which I successfully dodged. Yes, I did not allow her to engage in that nonsense. She then politely flaked on me. At the time, I did not even blink, and thought "her loss" as you guys tell us to think. She was actually puzzled by my lack of protest. But the fact is that, at that moment, nothing would make her go anyway. But, since, I then decided to ignore her for good. Yes, I decided to use the techniques you guys describe as "you must be willing to lose her".
    Now, she is starting to come after me in subtle ways. Finding me accidentally, etc.
    I am still ignoring her, but would very much like to have a go with this girl.
    What do you experienced guys think I could have done better, and what should I do next if she keeps coming to me?
    She is kind of conservative, she is a Mormon from Utah - would that be a problem? Any special techniques? What about the boy friend? And what about the age difference?

  2. #2
    prjav's Avatar
    prjav is offline Official PUA Forums Moderator
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    Default Re: Seducing a co-worker

    why do puas always want the girl with the bf sigh...

  3. #3
    El_Draque is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Seducing a co-worker

    hahaha im with you pjrav! All the singles girls and u wanna mess around with another mans girl

    girls ALWAYS moan about bf's, and they always use transference where they fancy the boy that agrees with them when they moan to them about their bf

  4. #4
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Seducing a co-worker

    lol well screw the other guys. they are just giving you a hard time

    me personally, i feel like you have been doing pretty successfully on working this girl, and obviously it was working at first if you could kiss on the cheek to holding hands to even massaging her butt. obviously that was the point to actually kiss her. your AFC move to try and go for it during the office was bad, she was a cold set at the moment and you had not worked any sexual escalation at the moment, so of course she is going to deny you. one- ur at work two- it freaked her out three- you hadnt done any groundwork or escalation to go for the kiss. you missed ur opportunity. after a kiss on the cheek, the next step would have been a tester to see if she wants to but only after escalating.

    u are doing good by Freezing Her Out and doing successful push pull but there only so long you can do that. so freeze her out more, be a little cold when she decides to bump into you accidently and then invent her out one night to go get drinks with some friends anf stuff like that. perfect time to talk, dhv, and sexually escalate towards a kiss. if she goes cold again even after that night, its not happening. she likes you somewhat but you wont get much farther. eventually you will start to be boring and just another co worker. personally i hate going for coworkers cause u dont want to fuck up your job. that is bad news!
    I live in my reality and you’re a guest

  5. #5
    pua4sx Guest

    Default Re: Seducing a co-worker

    Thank you crobinson1. Yes I agree about the dumbness of the AFC move. But, do you think that it did have the potential to seriously dampen the attraction?
    Another general question I have is: if one misses the opportunity for a kiss-close, as it was the case, can another one appear again? Or do things generally get derailed?
    Finally - after the last attempt you suggest, if it does not work, would it not be better for me to call quits for good, so not to risk becoming the bore you mentioned? (especially considering the co-worker scenario)

  6. #6
    crobinson1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Seducing a co-worker

    no problem. it had potential if she was feeling it but that move wil usually completely kill the attraction cause it will show ur needy, clingy, and thinking about her way too much. so i would avoid those silly desperation moves to kiss close. its not moments that just come up. you can work game and make her want to kiss you, you just need to sexually escalate. thats all.

    if ur attempt doesnt work i would either 1) call it quits for good cause it could mess up not only things between u two but ur job. or 2) freeze her out for a while and then come back after 3-4 weeks
    I live in my reality and you’re a guest

  7. #7
    prjav's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seducing a co-worker

    dude pursuing a girl in your job is a big no no. what if she sees you talking to somebody else and charges you on sexual harrassment?

    my point is: dont go for a Kclose in your job location, do it somewhere outside of it.

  8. #8
    pua4sx Guest

    Default Re: Seducing a co-worker

    Hi Crobinson1,
    May I ask you to elaborate on a few aspects of your post?
    1 - Why does it need to be 3-4 weeks? It seems to me to be a long time.
    2 - During the Freeze Out, if I act nicely, politely at least, will that sabotage my game? Or should I really act cold towards her during this period? What do I gain by acting cold?
    3 - How does one actually break the freeze out after acting cold for such a long period?


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