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  1. #1
    civilian's Avatar
    civilian is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default My Personal Advice About Approaching Women

    Part 1

    Approaching women in itself is easy; it's getting the courage to do it that seems to hold people back. A guy sees a girl he wants to approach, makes eye contact, and then, instead of approaching, does one of two things:

    1. Thinks it over
    They sit there and analyze all the possible outcomes. What if she doesn't fall madly in love with them? What if she is having a bad day? What if she's a lesbian? The girl notices the guy, but he is sitting there thinking it over (wasting time). If he eventually does approach, the girl thinks of him as a wuss because he took too long. This guy obviously has 0 confidence.

    2. Sits there trying to come up with a witty line
    I've been there. My entire life I've seen girls I would have loved to get them, looked at them, THOUGHT about approaching, but instead, sat there trying to come up with a witty line. This causes a few problems. A) You're wasting time. If you ever do approach, you look like a guy with no confidence and B). You won't think of a witty line. And if you somehow do, you have too many odds against you because if the girl isn't gone, then she realizes you have to little confidence to see something you want and go get it.

    To those of you who are afraid of rejection, here are some comforting points

    1. Every PUA has been rejected. It happens. It's like wanting to learn the guitar, but then holding back because you might play the wrong chord on accident or you might drop your pick.
    2. Rejection is a learning experience. It helps fine-tune your game so your chances of getting rejected drop as you go on
    3. Girls aren't rejecting you because of your looks (unless you're just hideous), you just did something wrong or were a little nervous and they picked up on it. That's why the more you approach; the less you'll actually get rejected. You'll improve on these things.
    4. Girls are usually pretty nice when you approach, as long as you avoid saying something vulgar or just walking up and saying, "I want to **** you." The worst rejection you may ever get is, "I have a boyfriend" or, "Why don't you give me your number." What is so scary about that? (there are good responses to both by the way)

    Now, here is the big rumor that people seem to believe when they either consider approaching girls or when they start doing it. They think that they need some kind of pick-up line or impressive opener to be successful. That's just not true. In all honesty, it doesn't matter what you say to a girl when you approach; you just have to say something...ANYTHING . You can pick-up girls no problem by just walking up and saying, "Hi" with a smile. The problem now is following this up with conversation (which I'll get into later).

    Now, imagine being at the mall and there are all sorts of HB's there. If you've ever really paid attention, how many guys have you actually seen approaching a girl? I don't think I've ever actually witnessed it. If you're scared of people noticing you trying to do a pickup, I don't think you should have a problem. Nobody would even pick-up on it. But, not only that, most guys DON'T approach girls. They go to the mall with a group of friends and just walk around trying to look cool. They look at girls, they whisper to their friends, then, they go home thinking about how hot that girl was.

    Another interesting point: YOU reject girls ALL THE TIME, you just don't know it. How many girls have you ever seen look at you and smile and you just kept walking? That's a rejection bro. If you don't approach a girl who is begging you to, you're rejecting her. You probably never even picked up on the signals (I know I used to never even notice them, and now they're so easy to spot), but you reject them. And think of how bad girls have it that they have to go home wondering if they're ugly because they didn't get approached. All us guys go for is looks on a girl; lucky for any of you who aren't so good-looking that girls go for personality

    I'll give you a perfect example. Yesterday I went to the mall with one of my girl friends (social proof, and the best was that she had no idea how she was helping me). There surprisingly weren't that many people at the mall (I think we went at a bad time), I only saw one I would've approached when I was pulling in to park but she was way to far away and there were no open spots on that floor. So after we're done picking up a few things, we go to the Starbucks there to get some coffee. She lets me know that she's going to the bathroom, and after a couple seconds when I decided what I wanted, I walked up to the counter and some guy took my order. There were 2 guys working, and a HB 8. After the guy took my order and was about to ring me up, the girl walks over and the guy asks her if she wants to make the drink or ring me up. She looks at me and says she'd ring me up. She then looks me right in the eye, gave me a great smile, and asks me How I'm doing? CLEAR SIGNAL. It's their job to be friendly, but when you get eye contact AND a smile, you know you're in. Here's why:

    Lets say you're walking around the mall and you notice this ugly girl is looking at you. You make eye contact (accidentally) then quickly look away. Why...because you're not interested. Now if this were a HB, you would've kept eye contact and most likely smiled. Smiling is a clear "come talk to me" indicator for cold approaches.

    So anyways, me and the girl made some small talk but I didn't feel like number closing so I told her it was a pleasure meeting you and walked away from the counter (as my friend was coming out).
    DISCLAIMER: All things said/suggested by "civilian" are strictly for entertainment and general information purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. I accept no Liability for such comments or suggestions whatsoever.

  2. #2
    civilian's Avatar
    civilian is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: The Art of Approaching Women

    Part 2

    Ok, now that you have some confidence and see that this is really easy, lets get into some different ways of approaching.

    Approaching can be broken into the following steps:

    1. Spotting out the target. You have 3 seconds to approach, so make sure you notice all the details in those 3 seconds. Maybe something interesting she's wearing if you want to do one of those approaches.
    2. Approaching the target and getting her attention. This is called an opener. Avoid canned pick-up lines.
    3. You got some kind of response from the target. You scan for body language, facial expressions, eye contact, and anything else to get an overall sense of interest level (depending on your approach there may not be any interest level yet. Don't give up)
    4. Your response to her response.
    5. Small talk
    6. Close

    Hopefully that seems logical to you. Now, how do you actually approach a girl? Get her attention, then once you do, talk about ANYTHING that's not boring. Good topics would be something going on at that moment around you, something you noticed about her (NOT LOOKS), or anything any regular guy wouldn't talk about.

    Here are some examples. You make eye contact, target returns EC and smiles; you approach without hesitation

    Guy: You know you have a great smile. I bet you use that toothpaste with the swirls [smile]
    Girl: [laughs] Actually, I use Aqua Fresh (or whatever brand)
    Guy: Not that I do consumer reports or anything, but how do you like it?
    Girl: It tastes kind of funny, but it does the job.
    Guy: Yeah, but surprisingly a lot of things that are really popular taste funny. Have you ever eaten at that Thai place over there [points]?
    Girl: No, I've actually never had Thai food.
    Guy: Really? Well, if you could pick one country with the best food, what would it be?
    Girl; I'd have to say Italian food. I love their bla bla bla and their bla bla bla.
    Guy: Yeah, they have great food. Have you ever been to Italy?
    More small talk

    Or

    Guy: [notices her carrying an Abercrombie bag] Do you actually like the clothes at Abercrombie, or do you just buy it for the pictures of shirtless guys on the bags?
    Girl: [laughs] A little bit of both. But I just LOVE their clothes. I think it looks great on guys too.
    Guy: yeah...they've got some decent clothes at Abercrombie, but to be quite honest with you, I like to shop at more up-scale institutions like Target [smile]
    Girl: [laughs] I would never buy anything at Target!
    Guy: Not even shoes....[looks down at her shoes, smiles]
    Girl: Oh my God! [gives guy gentle shove as she laughs] These aren't from Target!
    Guy: Mervyns?
    Girl: No! These are from Nordstroms! [smiling]
    More small talk

    How both these approaches used a little bit of humor (great tool to get girls to put their bitch shields down), but look at how they flow. Everything the guy said was based off of what the girl just said previously. This keeps conversation flowing smoothly, and the girl feels as if you two are connecting (and if she's laughing, this is a closed deal). Small talk for a little bit then Number Close by saying

    Well I've got to get going, but you seem like fun, we should get together sometime...[girl offers number]

    How about a simpler, more straight-forward approach?

    Guy: Hey there, I noticed you when I walked in and wanted to meet you.
    Girl: [smiles] Oh really? Why's that?
    Guy: Well I noticed something about you that I've never seen before [pause. This will create suspense, and girls get REALLY curious]
    Girl: What's that?
    Guy: Well we barely know each other...I don't know if I'd feel comfortable telling you this...[smile. Building even MORE suspense]
    Girl: [smiling] Come on! You have to tell me.
    Guy: [smiling] Why's that? Wouldn't it be a little awkward considering we JUST met? (keep in mind I used her same words, and with this question I'm now in control. I have a piece of information that she wants)
    Girl: Cause you can't do that to a girl! We HAVE to know things like that.
    More small talk

    Here are some more:

    You notice a girl looking at something in a store and you walk up and say, "You're not seriously considering buy THAT, are you?"

    At ATM: I don't know why you're playing around with that machine, It's not like you actually have any money there...

    If you're at a bookstore (or some quiet, calm place), you can say something like, "What is such a NICE girl like you doing in such a WILD place like this?

    At a coffee shop, if there's an empty chair at her table, walk over, put your hand on the chair and say, "Excuse me. Is anyone using this chair?" (she'll think you want to take it to another table). Then you sit down and say, "Ahhh. It feels great to finally sit down. [pause] So, what are you drinking?"

    Find an interesting item of clothing or jewelry (make sure it's something DIFFERENT) and say, "I really like your necklace. What's the story behind it?" (open-ended question which could easily lead to more conversation).

    "Has anyone ever told you you look just like [name celebrity that she resembles]?

    "Excuse me, you look like you have a good sense of style, and I was wondering if I could get your opinion on something?" (Girls love this one. Especially since you're going to ask them something about Fashion, but don't make it seem like you have no clue how to dress yourself).

    And here's one I woke up with this morning that I'm going to try. It's a cell phone approach. Put your phone on silent (so it doesn't ring) and get near a girl you want to approach. You're totally going to Disarm her (by making her laugh) without even talking to her. She'll probably approach you if you do this right, and even if she doesn't, she's easy game after this.

    You on Phone: "Yeah, there is this interesting girl here who is checking me out but hasn't approached me yet. I think she's just shy" [make sure she made eye contact, or else, change the line respectively]
    :: Girl looks at you and smiles ::
    You: I don't know, she's like 5'5, long brown hair, brown eyes, and she's wearing brown Capri's with a button down shirt (describing her)
    You: What does that have to do with anything?!?!? [pause] Ok Ok...... she has smooth skin.
    You: Ok man, how am I supposed to know if she uses Neutrogena facial wash to get her skin so smooth? It's not like she's wearing an orange logo T.
    You: WHAT? No! I'm not going to ask her.
    You: No! I'm done talking to you. This girl obviously wants to approach me and is just waiting for me to get off the phone. Goodbye! [hang up]

    Now if the girl doesn't approach you immediately, act as if you don't think she heard any of that and are just waiting for her to approach. She may play along also. If she doesn't approach immediately, but is playing along, you can walk up and say, "Hey, you wouldn't happen to use Neutrogena facial wash, would you?" and smile.
    You can change everything after the girl's description. That was just an example. Use anything that will make her laugh. The more she laughs, the less work you'll have to do later.
    Any creative approaches are always going to be great because I guarantee you no guy has ever used them on her. The attitude a guy that uses these approaches conveys is a cocky/funny, confident one who likes to have fun, and always talks to girls. He's totally relaxed and isn't going to get all nervous and be pathetic like other guys.

    And one more thing: Don't spend a really long time talking to her, and don't actually reveal much about yourself; instead, reveal using your words, facial expressions, and body language that you're a fun, relaxed guy that she would have the PRIVELAGE of spending some time with. (It's always the girls privelage, NEVER yours)

    I think this is a quote from the movie Big Daddy, but he says, "Initiating conversation is half the battle." Once you talk to her, and you're relaxed and laid back, you're set.

    These aren't canned openers or once I have memorized. Some are common, but don't get wrapped up in what you say, just say SOMETHING. The rest is a breeze. Stay relaxed, confident, and don't talk fast or slur your words together. Project your voice so she knows you're not intimidated by her. Keep good posture, hold eye contact, and talk. It's as easy as that.
    DISCLAIMER: All things said/suggested by "civilian" are strictly for entertainment and general information purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. I accept no Liability for such comments or suggestions whatsoever.


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