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  1. #1
    Dnice21 Guest

    Default Dance floor pickups/recovery from rejection for the average guy?

    Ey all, first time posting on here, so excuse me for any ignorance with my terminology/lingo.

    I was wondering your opinions on dance floor approaches and recovering from rejection on the floor. I am short(5'8), skinny, and pretty average looking by most standards (not hideous, but definitely someone who needs to work a girl a little before shes interested), so immediate rejection on the dance floor is a pretty common occurrence for me...usually before I even have a chance to say anything to the girl. To make it worse, i'm a pretty lousy dancer...but thats not my main concern, since it generally doesn't even get to that point. I don't let it get to my head because I'm usually just dancing to try to have fun, not to pick up girls (knowing my track record), and I save my game for the bar or elsewhere in the club. But I want to know if theres anything I could do to change my luck on the floor.

    Normally I won't go right up and start griding on a girl since I know that creeps them out. I dance a ways back from them, give them a smile, inch in a little, and see if they respond by closing the gap. The usual result is either she immediately relocates, she starts dancing on me for a minute or so and then relocates, or one of her friends will run an annoying cockblock and pull her away.

    In my opinion, approaching girls on a dance floor is 100% an appearance thing. Off the floor, I can generally use negs or dhv to bring a hot girl down to my level, and pick her up successfully. Targets are less likely to walk away from a guy approaching them to talk than they are a guy trying to dance with them. But once I'm out there, I just feel like a bug that girls want nothing to do with. Especially at the clubs where girls are in their heels and tower over me..i'm pretty much non-existent to them. It doesn't matter how good my game might be in 1-on-1 conversation...on the floor, I feel like if she doesn't think I'm an immediate candidate for hookup, I will be shot down. It makes the whole club scene not very enjoyable for me.

    I don't think my dancing skills have much to do with it either..since I always see taller guys who look like they're barely even moving with 10s griding up on them.

    Generally, after i'm rejected on the dance floor, I consider that girl a lost cause and I don't try an approach again off the floor. I don't usually like to waste my time on girls that I was already shot down from.

    What are some techniques an average guy can use on the floor to break the appearance barrier? Becoming a better dancer isn't really an option for me, since I'm one of the most uncoordinated dudes I know.

    Am I correct to treat these girls as lost coses, or have any of you had any success recovering from a dance-floor failure? Obviously if I am cockblocked, that doesn't necessarily mean the girl I was dancing with is completely uninterested, but it is usually a sign of disinterest if the girl doesn't come back. And I don't really see some line like "hey, call me crazy but it almost seemed like you were avoiding me out there?" going anywhere good.

    Or should I just give up on the dance floor altogether?

    Thanks for your help fellas!
    Last edited by Dnice21; 08-16-2010 at 01:46 AM.

  2. #2
    Spartan301 Guest

    Default Re: Dance floor pickups/recovery from rejection for the average guy?

    heres where the neg theory takes a huge shot in the foot.

    You can't neg or use any 'value maniuplation' material on the dance floor. It's all conveyance.

    On a side note, why I'm not the biggest fan of negs is it gives the PUA the mentality that he starts off 'low value' and has to 'knock women down a peg' while spiking himself up value-wise. Not only is this a weak Mindset to have, it's totally useless on the dance floor.

    So, you must start out with a high self-value when going on that dance floor. You must think, feel, and believe that you're a fun person to dance with. I typically augment that by opening various sets before midnight. 10pm to midnight is a perfect window for you to open set after set, and leave those sets when youre at a conversational high point. That way, you don't stay too long, dillute your set, and the next time they see you (at around midnight), you're not as appealing or high value.

    So first things first, get there fairly early and open those sets. When you feel the conversation's at a sweet spot, excuse yourself, "well I gotta head back to my friends, but I'll see you guys around here." or "...when i get back, we'll hit up that dance floor" then you leave, open another set, rince and repeat until midnight.

    At midnight, if the DJ of the club is good, the music changes from 'lounging' 'ok' music, to crowd pumping music, typically hip-hop, dance remixes, and top 40 stuff. Take a listen to the song, then look out to the club. Are girls getting energetic? If they are, this is where you come in.

    When approaching girls on the dance floor, keep in mind these cardinal rules:

    1) You must match the energy of the music, or slightly higher. Don't go in all half assed
    2) Match the energy of the girls or slightly higher. Once again, no half ass attempts. I'd rather go in ONCE at 100% effort, than a number of 50%s
    3) They must see you approach! No back grinding. Best approach angle for me is the 45 degree angle. Not directly back or directly in front.
    4) Learn how to spin a girl. Learn how to strongly and confidently hold your hand out to hers, and when she takes it, raise her hand, turn her wrist, and spin her. That's your opener. Spin, and you're in.

    Remember to always be the leader, always be the person leading the girl. Give her little leads to have her follow (hoops for her to jump through). some leads are more spins, pulling back and curling your hand in a 'come here' motion, etc.

    Once you think you've reached a very good high point on the dance floor, right before you two are tiring out, that's when you lead the interaction OFF the dance floor, "hey, let's get a drink" "let's sit down." "i don't know a thing about you, how about a break and we can talk?"

    From there, hopefully you know what to do.

    Let me know if you have any questions, and try it out. let me know how it goes.

    good luck

  3. #3
    Pokerbaby is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Dance floor pickups/recovery from rejection for the average guy?

    I'm an AFC and I'm looking for help too, but the one bright spot in my game is the dance floor.

    I'm a fairly good dancer, but I don't think dancing skill is all that important except to open a few doors.

    I don't think it's quite true that you can't neg on the dance floor, here's what I do.

    Step 1: Dance as well as you can with as high an intensity as you can. The easiest way is to learn one or 2 simple moves and practice them repeatedly and then speed up the pace in which you do them which will give you a semblance of being a good dancer. You can also learn some silly dance moves such as the "scuba" which are brain dead easy to do. Unfortunately they won't work on all women, it will depend on the type of club and if the woman seems loose and easy-going or stuck up.

    Step 2: As soon as a woman makes eye contact with you, here's what you do, immediately Pivot on one foot and turn your full body and head away from her, but continue dancing in the same high intensity. You are pretending you saw her and didn't like what you saw. After about 30 seconds, turn back and face the group again. I'd bet that the group never went anywhere. This is your "neg".

    Step 3: Another thing I like to do when dancing is dance and make eye contact with the least attractive woman in the set. This is very similar to the concept of talking to her when she's with a group of friends.

  4. #4
    Newbee is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Dance floor pickups/recovery from rejection for the average guy?

    Usually girls have eye contact or they dance close to you. Mostlikely girl is "accidentally" bumping or rubbing you. She won't move away even though she touches you. Then I try to get eye contact and Isolate the dancer. When im dancing with girl I have eyecontact with girl. I do something sexy and funny move with eyecontact. After that girl mostlikely smiles and she does something even sexier.

    I like funny and sexy moves. I know buch of them but it is difficult to explain here with my Schwarzenegger English.

    A bit by bit, not too straight, keep it funny, sexy and flirtatious.

  5. #5
    amino2 Guest

    Default Re: Dance floor pickups/recovery from rejection for the average guy?

    these comments are pretty good here guys. Gambler sells the theory that when your on the dance floor by urself to be in your own little world. Dont intitially make any eye contact, just dance and enjoy urself. the next thing you know u will be surrounded with women (Because u r just enjoying urself and not lookin on the prowl). Once you get to this phase you may begin to make eye contact and try to warm ur approach by forcing ioi's. Dont focus on one girl tho, yet, enjoy your options here! haha

    Again this is what gambler has said not me. However I do try to warm all my approaches lately.

  6. #6
    Pokerbaby is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Dance floor pickups/recovery from rejection for the average guy?

    Quote Originally Posted by amino2 View Post
    these comments are pretty good here guys. Gambler sells the theory that when your on the dance floor by urself to be in your own little world. Dont intitially make any eye contact, just dance and enjoy urself. the next thing you know u will be surrounded with women (Because u r just enjoying urself and not lookin on the prowl). Once you get to this phase you may begin to make eye contact and try to warm ur approach by forcing ioi's. Dont focus on one girl tho, yet, enjoy your options here! haha

    Again this is what gambler has said not me. However I do try to warm all my approaches lately.

    Yes, they will come up to you and start dancing near you.

    I just I knew what the hell to do next. I was on the dance floor last night, doing my thing. I get bumped. At first my AFC I'm a jerkoff mode turns on and I figure her pushing me was an accident and I ignore it. Then I get pushed a second time, I look back and she's staring me right in the eyes and smiling. I turn my back from her and "neg her."

    She walked away and I figured I screwed up and didn't act fast enough but 10 minutes later she's back and dancing beside me and making several IOIs. Ok now I know I should be doing something but once again I look away and look towards my wingman. She probably thinks I'm gay and she walked away never to come back. Wish I knew what A PUA would have done.

  7. #7
    Newbee is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Dance floor pickups/recovery from rejection for the average guy?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pokerbaby View Post
    Yes, they will come up to you and start dancing near you.

    I just I knew what the hell to do next. I was on the dance floor last night, doing my thing. I get bumped. At first my AFC I'm a jerkoff mode turns on and I figure her pushing me was an accident and I ignore it. Then I get pushed a second time, I look back and she's staring me right in the eyes and smiling. I turn my back from her and "neg her."

    She walked away and I figured I screwed up and didn't act fast enough but 10 minutes later she's back and dancing beside me and making several IOIs. Ok now I know I should be doing something but once again I look away and look towards my wingman. She probably thinks I'm gay and she walked away never to come back. Wish I knew what A PUA would have done.
    In my opinion its a veeeeeery subtle what happens. IoIs are so small that most of AFC's think "She don't want to dance with me!"

    I think you should have start to dance with her. You can go a bit closer towards her in a small angle. Mostlikely then you are dancing faces towards each other, if youre both interested. I would use confident moves and eye contact. I usually get so close when were dancing together that we "accidentally bump". When bumping is ok for girl and she doesn't retreat I get a bit closer until I grab girl on her hips. Then it goes more intimate humping and rubbing.

  8. #8
    newscctv Guest

    Default Re: Dance floor pickups/recovery from rejection for the average guy?

    In my opinion its a veeeeeery subtle what happens. IOIs are so small that most of AFC's think "She don't want to dance with me!"
    I think you should have start to dance with her. You can go a bit closer towards her in a small angle. Most likely then you are dancing faces towards each other, if you're both interested. I would use confident moves and eye contact. I usually get so close when were dancing together that we "accidentally bump". When bumping is ok for girl and she doesn't retreat I get a bit closer until I grab girl on her hips. Then it goes more intimate humping and rubbing.

  9. #9
    Pierrot's Avatar
    Pierrot is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dance floor pickups/recovery from rejection for the average guy?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pokerbaby View Post
    Yes, they will come up to you and start dancing near you.

    I just I knew what the hell to do next. I was on the dance floor last night, doing my thing. I get bumped. At first my AFC I'm a jerkoff mode turns on and I figure her pushing me was an accident and I ignore it. Then I get pushed a second time, I look back and she's staring me right in the eyes and smiling. I turn my back from her and "neg her."

    She walked away and I figured I screwed up and didn't act fast enough but 10 minutes later she's back and dancing beside me and making several IOIs. Ok now I know I should be doing something but once again I look away and look towards my wingman. She probably thinks I'm gay and she walked away never to come back. Wish I knew what A PUA would have done.
    you did push push push

    the idea is push pull push pull


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