1. Should I create a vacuum and stop contacting her for some time so as to show lesser interest?
2. How does one kiss close a target who refuses to sit or stand still?
3. How to kino without being too apparent in a cinema, or lecture theatre situation?
4. This HB and I have been out a couple of times, but I don't know what she's thinking about, should I go direct and ask her what she sees in store for us? I don't like wasting my time with an HB who doesn't allow even kiss closing and shows no interest in an LTR.
5. Are there any routines to test if the HB is ready for a kiss?
Preceding event: HB Shanghai was opened in a warm set. Approximately a 6.5-7. I met her again after 3 months. Prior to her leave to another country for a trip, we've been out up to day 4 in the game. It ended badly because I left her late at night to go back home by herself while i should've escorted her to the subway. Needless to say, she was pissed and I did not expect to be able to game her again. But after receiving friendly advice from friends I reopened her once she returned. Prior to her departure, I was still new to PUA material, so it was quite haphazard with plenty of sexual innuendo without qualifying her, thus I didn't move on to the comfort stage.
I wrote her a simple letter, stating that I would like to make amends for the previous incident in a non-AFC manner and she suggested going out to watch a movie.
So it begins...
HB Shanghai, a relatively tall and well-educated Shanghainese, proposed meeting up for a movie in 2 days time. I agree to the proposal and we meet up that week.
She at our meeting wearing a long pink and white dress and a pink cardigan. I stand casually against the wall and smile when she arrives.We then move on towards the cinema.
TheApostle: Hey, do you still remember our secret handshake? (Knowing that I need to kino ASAP)
HB: No, I don't...
TheApostle: What?! why not, let's do it again!
HB: why should I have remembered it? No, I don't want to do it.
I don't push further...
As we walk on towards the cinema, I ask her about her trip to another country and tried to emphasize asking her questions that would require her using her emotions.
Albeit, in a not so adept way, simply asking "How did it feel..."
I tried to tease playfully making sure not to neg her since Mainland chinese girls, not ABCs or CBCs, normally consider themselves to be of low value.
Every time I touched her arm, she moved away from me a bit, she seems not to like physical contact that much. However, from the time we met up till this point she'd occassionally preen her hair, moreso than most girls I'd interact with (I'm not sure if this IOI can be considered relevant because some girls have a habit of doing this quite frequently perhaps due to their self-consciousness) but she doesn't work hard to fill in moments when I am not speaking.
HB: How was your holiday?
TheApostle: It was alright. ( I take out a sheet of paper)
HB: You don't have to give me a report.
TheApostle: Noooo, this is something that I worked on in the beginning of my vacation, it's my 5-year plan, detailing what I shall accomplish every single month. (dhv)
HB: What?! 5-years, I don't even have a plan for next week!
As we arrive at the cinema, I pay for the tickets. Seeing this,she proposes that she'll pay for our dinner.
We're watching the Inception and sitting near the front row, . We walk on towards the theatre but wait for a bit, outside the movie theatre.
TheApostle: So, how was the place you've been to?
HB: It was dirty, they had poor sanitation, etc. But I heard from people there that the guys from your country are more handsome.
I smile and say that I agree.
Somehow it seems that she gets put off by this and her leg, crossed over her thighs, shift onto another side away from me.
There are still some silent moments and doesn't really endeavor to fill those in as of yet.
After a while, we talk about an affair her classmate and her professor had and how her classmate wrecked their marriage. She was talking quite animatedly.
HB: He was 50, and she is only 20 something. He is old, maybe she likes him for his nationality.
TheApostle: C'mon, females are interested in men of power and wealth. Age should not be taken into consider here, love is blind.
HB: (Preens her hair, IOI) Maybe, he did earn quite a bit as a professor...
Further on in our conversation, I touch her arm playfully, but she still seems to move back away after I touch her. Soon we enter the theatre.
It's a good thing that we're watching the Inception since it talks about the subconscious and how that could alter our view of reality, as I've recently been reading 2 books on this subject matter. Something I take note of to DHV myself later.
Throughout the movie, I'm not sure how to kino as we didn't buy anything to eat or drink thereby reducing the chance of kinoing opportunities while watching a movie.
TheApostle: This trailer seems like a horror movie.
HB: Yes, I don't like horror movies.
TheApostle: Oh, neither do I. Have you been to this themepark during Halloween.
HB: Yes, I have. I normally scream louder than the actors, I don't like people touching me in the dark.
TheApostle: Oh really (It's quite dark in the theatre, I touch her arm jokingly)
Her body language is quite OK, her leg, crossed over her thighs towards my direction. (Should the foot be pointed towards me to qualify as an IOI?)
The movie, begins and at the beginning 5 minutes, I talk to her occassionally. But not to come off as showing her too much interest i immediately stop and concentrate on the movie, but I do look towards her direction and mirror her body language intentionally. However, after her shifting her body language too many times, I stop and decide to concentrate on the movie.
1 hour into the movie, I notice her body is leaned away from me and she's yawning so I ask her what's up. Our heads knock against each other unintentionally, albeit lightly, i note it down as another kino down. She smiles and answers my question.
She says that the movie is boring. I ask her if she wants to leave and she says no, so I stay there.
After the movie is over we walk out and I start saying how cool the movie was and how it relates to the 2 books that I was reading over the holidays on this subject matter. Since she said that she was a bit confused as to the ending I elaborated that further (DHV spike).
I also state that i thought the protagonist's children were quite cute. Thereby, showing that I like children and I know she does too I think it'll be another bonus point to me.
We go towards this themed restaurant, where the owner knows me and where he inadvertently social proofs me with the things he says.
We find the restaurant and place an order. I show my conversational skills in another language, that the HB knows of but is not that fluent in.(DHV?)
The Apostle: Let's play a board game. (I bring one over) This is quite easy to understand. ( I set up the game) I shall let you win the first round.
HB: (Preens her hair)
I lose not only the 1st, but the 2nd and 3rd round as well!!
HB: I've played a similar game like this before. ( Is she trying to keep me in my status? So I don't dlv myself?)
The Apostle: Let's not play this anymore. I know in the Chinese culture palm-reading is quite developed.
HB: No, I don't know...
The Apostle: I know some. (I go on reading her palm, and kinoing at the same time.)
HB: Do you know what you're talking about or are you trying to make an excuse to touch me? (Shit test)
The Apostle: (Didn't see it as a shit test) No, actually a friend of mind taught me this. SHE is very interested in this and I asked her a lot of questions on this. (Showing that I do interact with other women, DHV)
HB: (Preens her hair)
I continue, treading carefully not to neg her.
Some of the food arrives and she offers to share her salad with me.
The Apostle: I want to learn mandarin. I've planned this in my 5-year plan. (I then take my 5-year plan and only show that part of it, ambiguity=ATTRACTION )
HB: Oh really, a friend of mine has just transfered to your university. I could ask her to be your language buddy. I have nothing planned that is that detailed...I like life of uncertainties, that's what creates excitement.
TheApostle: Well, that is not ideal, if you were going from Point A to Point B but you'd have a map that could be quite time-consuming...blah blah blah. i've even planned out where I am going to put my children for school in the future, I've even gone to the bank to look for some trust fund information. (DHV)
HB: I want my children to have a carefree childhood, blah blah blah
TheApostle: Well, I want my children xxxxxx
HB: What do you mean your children, you cannot have children you're a guy xxxxx (What is she insinuating if anything at all?)
TheApostle: That's not a problem I could find someone to have kids with xxxxxxxx
I then use this DHV story on her:
You seem like a very patient person.
That's not a bad quality, I'm sure you'd be very good tutoring children.
That reminds me of a student of mine that I taught at a tutoring service for unprivileged youth. He just came back from Mainland China and his English and Arithmetic was quite poor. He came from a very poor family and didn't have a steady education. He was 11 eleven years old but he didn't know the ABCs or the multiplication table. I felt really disillusioned looking at this student as it was not something that I'd expect in a developed city. Whenever, he'd come to the centre I was determined to see him succeed but more importantly to make him understand that even though he was not a high achiever in class that had nothing to do with his intellectualy capacity. Everytime we met, I'd sit him down and teach him the alphabet and the multiplication table. It was quite strenuous but it was well worth the effort. I once asked him to multiply two figures in the thousands. At first he struggled and he even got the result incorrect several times, but in the end as I pushed him to try again, he finally succeeded. The look on his face when he solved the problem successfully was epic. It was a very rewarding experience knowing that I had a positive impact on this child's life.
HB: Yeah, I like teaching children, blah blah blah, but I'm not very patient with adults.
TheApostle: Well, I think that's quite cool teaching kids, I like that (very small qualifier)
We play chess, and I ask her to teach me how to play chess.
TheApostle: The way you talk when you teach is quite cute (Statement of interest)
HB: Seems taken aback, preens her hair.
Then I decide to teach her something about body language and ask her to sit next to me.
I show her the body language of various people around and try to explain some of it to her.
TheApostle: Now, you see those two over there have poor rapport as can be seem from their varying body languages and her feet.
Then I move on to explain her body language a bit.
HB: Hah, my foot is pointed to the sofa, that means i am more interested in the sofa than you.
TheApostle: Things are not what they seem (I smile, even though her foot was pointed towards the sofa her right leg was on top of her left thigh where I was seated.)
HB:Now, what does it mean, when I'm preening my hair (continues preening her hair)
TheApostle: I can't tell you that,, that's a secret (AMBIGUITY=ATTRACTIO N)
HB: Why, can't you tell me that. Why should you be the only one to know that!
I ignore that and move on.
I ask her to get another board game and lean in towards her touching her shoulder, she smiles thinking that I asked her to move to my side bacause I wanted to touch her, but I act nonchalant and ignore that thereby giving her the impression that I had no interest in touching her.
The shopkeeper arrives and talks with us for a bit. The HB replies and sometimes preens her hair when she looks at him (is she attracted to him??)
Anyhow, he DHVs me by asking me questions about the group of friends that I was with the last time I was there and he asks me if she was one of them, I say no.
Anyhow, we soon leave the restaurant, and head on towards a park where I had intended to kiss close.
We arrive at the park, but I couldn't do it. Images of the reprecussions of that act swarm my mind.
I intended to get her to sit next to me and then say something in her intimate zone of her face and then go for the close, but she refuses to sit next to me.
HB: There are too many mosquitoes there!
TheApostle: no, there are none! I am fine, see no moquistoes.
TheApostle: Well, you're talking and moving around a lot, it's making me dizzy!
I rarely talk in the park, and she does most of the talking, filling out all the silence that I am creating. She also sees not able to stand still, nervous energy, and moves around and around.
I think about kissing her another way, with another excuse, but the distance between us is not large but not small, I would have to lunge and kiss her, she could move back and that could ruin the vibe.
We talk about various things then we leave the park without me kissing her or holding her hand.
HOW DO I KISS SOMEONE WITHOUT THEM BACKING AWAY WITHOUT BEING IN THE INTIMATE ZONE?
We move on towards the subway.
TheApostle: Hey, do you want to meet up again later.
HB: Sure. (Laughing)
TheApostle: Promise? Here take this (I show her my bracelet) this is a promise that we shall meet again (lock-in prop)
HB: Should I wear this?
TheApostle: Sure ( I put it on her wrist)
HB: thank you
We depart from each other.