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  1. #11
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Holding conversation

    There are a lot of studies that show that people, when they listen and respond to what the other person is saying rather than do the speaking about a topic, they tend to be looked at as great people to have conversations with.

    In easier ways to look at it, there is a good conversation person, and a bad conversation person.
    Studies have shown that if person A, listens to person B and just responds a little bit, enough to just have person B continue talking about topics and what interests them, person A is viewed as an awesome person to talk with by person B.
    But, if person C likes to continue to lead the conversation and get most of the talk time, person B will look at person C as a boring person to have a conversation with, even though person C said more words.
    In the first scenario in the study they did, person A said far less words than person C did in the second scenario, however, person A in the 1st scenario was regarded as a better listener, talker, etc. over person C.

    Take this and flip it to the PUA world. If you get a girl to talk, ask her opinions, questions, and keep her talking about herself. Throw in comments here and there to make the conversation go. But she will look at you and be like, "omg I had an amazing conversation with this guy."
    It doesn't mean let her lead the conversation to anything she wants, because you can easily lead it to the topic you want to talk about. It is just about guiding her motor boat (mouth) to what topic it is you want to discuss.

  2. #12
    jtp156 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Holding conversation

    this post is way old. there is no conversation anymore!

  3. #13
    jtp156 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Holding conversation

    The best book ever written for pick up is dale carengie's book how to win friends and influence people.

  4. #14
    JohnTan is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Holding conversation

    Complete and utter AFC here, I always feel I need to add that clause to my posts, since what I say is likely to be completely wrong. Anyway, I find that the WAY you talk about things is pretty important. Even though I'm naturally quiet I try and be energetic and enthusiastic about the conversation, no matter what the topic. When the conversation halts, sometimes I will throw out a completely random question like "tell me what you dream about" - usually they will have some anecdote they will be excited to share because it was a funny/scary dream etc.

  5. #15
    jtp156 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Holding conversation

    Jon, your dead on with this. when you talk about something you're passionate about the other person feels excited and part of the conversation. And when you give the other person a chance to talk about something they get excited about, they think that YOU are exciting. They like to be around you, they like talking to you. they like you.
    Most people are so insanely bored out of their minds that they're looking for something to either fire them up or pacify them. you want to fire them up, as you talk about here.
    And I use your dream question sometimes too, except I'll be more specific and ask if they ever dream that they're flying.
    Also, you might say that you're and AFC, but you're on to something big here when you say that it's the WAY you talk. What you say is only about 7% of communication, the other 93% is non-verbal. This is why tone, pauses, body language and posture are so important.
    But, going back to just the way you say something… watch comedians deliver their material, they are masters of all that non-verbal/tone stuff. In fact you can listen without sound and STILL feel the tone of the conversation they are so strong in that frame.
    One thing I will say is that if you use the principles in "How to Win Friends and Influence People", it doesn't necessarily build attraction, but it will make you a very interesting person and that is the second step in any seduction and the foundation for everything that comes after it.

    And just like Bill Preston has on your status thing, you are not an afc, you are an ASPIRING PUA.

    Later—JT

  6. #16
    JTP
    JTP is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Holding conversation

    Thanks for your post… Really helped clear this up for me.

  7. #17
    JTP
    JTP is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Holding conversation

    great stuff on this forum guys. thank you


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