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  1. #1
    compgeni Guest

    Default She flaked -- How was my response?

    I was supposed to have a lunch date with this girl today and she flaked.

    I was running late and text her:
    Me "I'm minutes away"
    Her "I'm stuck in a meeting at work. I don't think I'll be able to make it today. Working later?" (we met at my work...been around a couple times she introduced herself to me, I didn't go after her, much later I asked her out, she had a bf, then I saw her more and more and asked her out again and she agreed enthusiastically. )
    Me "Not today, Ive got clients and tutoring. I'll enjoy my lunch and off to the next install. Oh well "

    So, how was the response? It's true.

    If I see her around and I Get The Vibe she is interested and it wasent just a "flake" I'll make her buy me dinner or something.

    I do not like that she did not text me or something saying "hey I'm in a meeting and wont be able to make it". She must have totally forgot or isn't interested. ::shrugs::

  2. #2
    jabu Guest

    Default Re: She flaked -- How was my response?

    The reply wouldn't be what I'd send personally, I'd be more inclined to say something like 'You gota be kiddin me, I rented an amazing suit for this! lol :P No probs..but you owe me for the suit rental Enjoy work! lol'. Jokey and light hearted is always my way. The suit rental money thing I would use for a 'you still owe me for that suit rental, but sure you can cover this lunch/meal/dinner' whatever it is on another date or say it over text, whatever way you wana work it. Then a swift little neg about being stuck in work.

    It's possible she may have 'totally forgot' or 'isn't interested'...but if it were me, I wouldn't think that way man. She said she was stuck in a meeting, for all you know she could've been in that meeting thinking about how she can't text you cus she can't leave it, and maybe she even took a risk or went out of her way to text you to say she can't make it. She introduced herself to you, and after a while you got an enthusiastic response when you asked her out. I would remain un-phased by it and see what happens next time you see her cus everything sounds good up to this. If you still get bad vibes, then I'd forget dates and build rapport etc (have you already done this much?).

    Actually here, does she still have a bf or has recently broke up? And how much would you keep in contact with her in general? How long was it between the first and second time you asked her out? Much rapport built in between?

  3. #3
    compgeni Guest

    Default Re: She flaked -- How was my response?

    Man, I really have to learn to be light harted!!! That would have NEVER occurred to me to say.



    I would remain un-phased by it and see what happens next time you see her cus everything sounds good up to this. If you still get bad vibes, then I'd forget dates and build rapport etc (have you already done this much?).
    Not really. I see her every now and again and she talked about her uncle, family from italy..etc. Just little spirts here and there.

    Actually here, does she still have a bf or has recently broke up? And how much would you keep in contact with her in general? How long was it between the first and second time you asked her out? Much rapport built in between?
    I dont know if they recently broke up or not. I know I FINALLY asked her out way after she introduced herself to me, she agreed and got her number but we never went out. Then, about one week ago I saw her alot, amost every day I worked, and I asked her out after awhile. I don't really keep in contact with her. I heard my coworker say that she told him that her BF was really upset she gave me her number. So she didnt come in for awhile. Not much rapport was built.

    I want to LEARN how to build rapport too.
    Last edited by compgeni; 09-22-2010 at 08:11 PM.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: She flaked -- How was my response?

    Quote Originally Posted by jabu View Post
    The reply wouldn't be what I'd send personally, I'd be more inclined to say something like 'You gota be kiddin me, I rented an amazing suit for this! lol :P No probs..but you owe me for the suit rental Enjoy work! lol'. Jokey and light hearted is always my way. The suit rental money thing I would use for a 'you still owe me for that suit rental, but sure you can cover this lunch/meal/dinner' whatever it is on another date or say it over text, whatever way you wana work it. Then a swift little neg about being stuck in work.

    It's possible she may have 'totally forgot' or 'isn't interested'...but if it were me, I wouldn't think that way man. She said she was stuck in a meeting, for all you know she could've been in that meeting thinking about how she can't text you cus she can't leave it, and maybe she even took a risk or went out of her way to text you to say she can't make it. She introduced herself to you, and after a while you got an enthusiastic response when you asked her out. I would remain un-phased by it and see what happens next time you see her cus everything sounds good up to this. If you still get bad vibes, then I'd forget dates and build rapport etc (have you already done this much?).

    Actually here, does she still have a bf or has recently broke up? And how much would you keep in contact with her in general? How long was it between the first and second time you asked her out? Much rapport built in between?
    There is some really good stuff in that post REp+.

    I agree you have to feel out the situation. Sometimes flakes are not ment beacuse they arent intrested, but cause they have stuff going on.

    Hold your frame, be alpha, and try again

  5. #5
    jabu Guest

    Default Re: She flaked -- How was my response?

    Quote Originally Posted by compgeni View Post
    Man, I really have to learn to be light harted!!! That would have NEVER occurred to me to say.
    Don't worry about it man, it all comes with time. That's the good thing about texting and all, you can be daring and adventurous..and if she comes back with 'what? Did you seriously rent a suit?' or anything like that you can just say 'No of course not jeeez, I don't even know if you're worth it...yet lol :P'. Playful, fun, different.

    Quote Originally Posted by compgeni View Post
    Not really. I see her every now and again and she talked about her uncle, family from italy..etc. Just little spirts here and there.

    I dont know if they recently broke up or not. I know I FINALLY asked her out way after she introduced herself to me, she agreed and got her number but we never went out. Then, about one week ago I saw her alot, amost every day I worked, and I asked her out after awhile. I don't really keep in contact with her. I heard my coworker say that she told him that her BF was really upset she gave me her number. So she didnt come in for awhile. Not much rapport was built.

    I want to LEARN how to build rapport too.
    Rapport = Connection. You have to connect with her on a level that gets her attracted. Watch out for topics that get her smiling and talking away about, they mean something to her. It sounds to me like you're diving into hard territory to win on IF she has a bf! lol. Even if she does, she did give you her number so that's a positive I suppose. But don't worry about it, act as if he doesn't exist. Also, if he is upset about her giving you her number then good, it'll only make him less alpha and her more available to you. Harsh, but f*ck it, you want something you gota go for it. She wouldn't have gave you her number if she was 100% happy. What gets me though is that two dates have been arranged, and two no-shows have happened...this shows that she may give the impression she wants to see you, but she has a bf and might...that's MIGHT just be digging your attention. But keep the positive attitude going for now, cus you don't know yet.

    Here's the first video of 10 from youtube I learnt about 'Kino' from (you may or may not know what it is)- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edh2GQHZmtI - (kino and rapport are kind of on the same boat, but personally I view them as different aspects of attraction building) Kino is a good way of getting her more attracted, but be careful in the workplace, as it can be very flirty and look out of place. Back to rapport, you need to be able to make memories with her. Best way I find is to get the girl talking, like you did with her family etc, to try and find common ground...on anything, similar passions in life are the best for this! Rapport building + kino = laughs and good times = memories. It also makes it alot easier when texting etc to get yourself into her head when you chat about things you's have common ground on, or neg about silly things she she said ir did, building rapport even more.

  6. #6
    checho83 Guest

    Default Re: She flaked -- How was my response?

    Ok I'm not an expert much less a PUA but the same thing happened to me at work, well I work ina the medical field so dicretion is imperative since she is my boss. She pretty much came on to me evn told me to be extra early in the office before anyone else so she could furk me. But me being a total douche miss my chance so nothing happened after that and well I thought she was done. I kept talking to her and I seriously got interested in her as a friend gave her advice about her situation ( she was going through a very messy divorce when she told me to be at the office) anywho long story short we txted at work went out a couple of times, neg her so much (without me knowing I was just being cool and telling her how I saw her situation later I realized I was doing the techniques) now we go hiking, we go out to moviesbars, I know that I could've lost my chance if I hadn't kept talking to her, but I kept the chance opened by talking to her, being funny, shit I even made her tell me all about her sexual life and what she wanted to do with me. The only thing that stopped her from doing it before was the fact that I couldn't close when we were on the friend zone

  7. #7
    checho83 Guest

    Default Re: She flaked -- How was my response?

    And this is one of the reasons why I wanna be a PUA if she had not had come on to me I would have never had the balls to try something with her, I don't wanna leave this to chance. I've always felt like I've been lucky to have gone out with the girls that I've gone out with and now I wanna change that I wanna go out with the girl of my choosing period.

  8. #8
    compgeni Guest

    Default Re: She flaked -- How was my response?

    Nice story...

    I've NEVER had someone come on to me... So.. I dunno. New I guess.

    What do you text about? I've always preferred face to face.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: She flaked -- How was my response?

    Hey Jabu thanks for that Kino vid! I was just about to hit the hay but now that
    I've started watching this I won't be able to sleep until I've seen the whole thing!


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