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  1. #1
    LifeMage Guest

    Default Help! Inflated ego and serious suckage

    I really hate feeling like a tool, but I just discovered how badly I suck at PU.

    (ADMIN - POST YOUR field report HERE VERSUS LINKING OUT)

    So, what do I need? Well, I'm looking for constructive criticism. If you read the last post in my field report you'll see that I was able to approach girls but couldn't convert.

    Here's what I think. I'm a total AFC (or maybe an rAFC since I don't believe in oneitis and shit). Anyway, I have a highly inflated sense of my ability and I want to get slammed and told EXACTLY what I need to work on. Let me lay it out here...

    I've been gaming a girl at work but am afraid to initiate and hold eye contact. I think party of me realizes this will escalate kino and, frankly, I'm afraid of sexual contact...

    Tonight I got a HB9 to "dance the dougie" with me but failed to initiate contact. I was afraid to grind/dirty dance without an IOI, but maybe that's an AFC thing?

    I also approached a HB8/HB9 who seemed uncomfortable with dancing. I tried to make her comfortable and flirted with her cockblock but something I did/said turned them off and they left with a glare. I don't feel hurt by the rejection, I just can't figure out what I did wrong.

    Here was my approach tendency tonight (house party):
    1. Comment on something obvious ("why aren't you dancing?")
    2. Get them to start talking
    3. Suggest a course of action ("teach me how to dougie")
    4. Dance with said girl(s)
    5. No kino/grinding
    6. Girl eventually leaves

    Right now I'm chalking my failure up to kino, but I noticed that the guys getting laid (at least at this party) don't really dance, they just talk to the girls. I'm confused. All my life I've been bad at talking, so should I start developing stories and engaging them in conversation? Do I lead verbally or physically?

    Guys, ANY help at all would be MUCH appreciated. I'm a total newbie and don't know how to convert to a kiss close, let alone a lay.

    I hate admitting my epic failures, but I could really use some feedback, so please, let loose and give it to me straight. Thanks

  2. #2
    Joker Guest

    Default Re: Help! Inflated ego and serious suckage

    uhm.. have you checked out The Vibe by bill preston (the owner of this site)? it has totally upped my conversational 'game'

    joker

    the link is The Vibe

  3. #3
    eye Guest

    Default Re: Help! Inflated ego and serious suckage

    Well my fellow bro i feel as if your opening right, but it seems to routine. Girls can tell when your marking things off your check list. Hot girls get hit on many many times whenever there at a party and they've heard the why aren't you dancing routine so many times. You can open with the cheesyness because its effective, if you follow up well. the best ioi she can give you is her laughter, if you can get her laughing your in, shortly after if its going well ask for her number and walk away. The chick will flip because that doesnt happen, guys dont just leave hot girls that goes against everything that were brought up to think you know. The walk away will drive her nutz and i gurantee that she'll search the party for you.

  4. #4
    tcomea2 is offline PUA Forums VIP Member
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    Default Re: Help! Inflated ego and serious suckage

    Well truth be told we are all rAFC’s. Let me start with this: success takes time and a lot of pratice. You have to accept that you are going to get rejected and move on from it. You are doing good by going out and trying but you are doing some things wrong too.

    For starters it sounds like you are using the dance floor to build kino. This is a trap! Everyone kinos on the dance floor. Hell ive made out with random girls just cause the dancing got heavy, but doesn’t mean I picked them up. You need to initiate kino and build attraction before you take her to dance. So to answer one of your questions: yes you need to work on your conversational skills. Learn how to get yourself hooked into a set and how to be a fun exciting guy.

    You say you don’t lack confidence, yet you are constantly getting shot down. So im going to say its one of two things: 1. you are over confident and come off as an a$$. Or 2 you say you’re confident but you really are not in return you come across as incongruent and fake. Of course there could be something in the middle but since I have only seen a few posts from you and don’t really know you I can’t say. So think about this and try to figure out where you confidence really is at.

    Women want a confident man, but they don’t want a doucebag.

    My suggestion to you over all is this. Don’t so much worry about the kclose or the lay. That will come, I promise. Instead worry about opening, getting hooked in and building attraction. Have some fun stories for you to tell. Learn when to tell them and how to dhv by doing so. Once you can open and hook and build attraction then you start to worry about kino. Remember that kino is a slow process. Its not like jumping off a cliff its like rolling down a hill. Once you have her attracted and kino started then if you want to dance, cool go do it. But not till you have received ioi’s and know she is into you. Some may disagree and that’s cool, but this is my opinion.

    Relax, breath and have fun. If your not enjoying yourself then you are not doing this right.

    Hope this helps.

  5. #5
    LifeMage Guest

    Default Re: Help! Inflated ego and serious suckage

    Hey guys thanks for the advice. I'm going to keep posting. The good news is I found a mentor last night - he was fuckin sweet. I was skeptical at first but he was like calling play by play and telling me exactly what would happen right before it did. Anyway, I'll be going out as much as possible and he said he's willing to help critique and teach, so hopefully things will start improving.


    You say you donít lack confidence, yet you are constantly getting shot down. So im going to say its one of two things: 1. you are over confident and come off as an a$$. Or 2 you say youíre confident but you really are not in return you come across as incongruent and fake. Of course there could be something in the middle but since I have only seen a few posts from you and donít really know you I canít say. So think about this and try to figure out where you confidence really is at.
    You're right. I've always thought I was a confident guy, but the dude last night was telling me my body posture, conversation...prett y much everything about me is passive. I guess what I should have been saying is "I FEEL confident" - not that I come across that way. I never knew there was a difference until now, but it makes sense.


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