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  1. #1
    TheApostle is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Managing Expectations: Prevention is better than cure

    I have a belief that every girl that I am attracted is "destined" to be attracted to me.

    As of yet this seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy as most(90%-95%) of the females that I'm attracted to, while displaying several "I don't give a fuck" qualities during our interactions, generate massive attraction. Even more so than when I used to care about their body language and try to shift it towards me, etc, etc.

    However, sometimes there are females that I am not attracted who I by "default" game or hear something AWESOME about me from someone else end up being sucked up into this vaccuum towards me.

    I am not as proficient as many of you are here yet and this is a new experience for me. Getting females that I like and females that I am neutral towards attracted towards me in such a short period of time.

    Regardless, there are issues there that I've noticed arised and I'm not sure whether it's just in my head or they're issues that are common with generating attraction, somehow the female misreads my intentions, generates high expectations and when one fails to meet them they get turned off or generate animosity for the guy who does that.

    2 cases.

    1) HB South Africa. Invests a lot in me and ends me falling for me. I am interested in her and tell her that I'd like to have dinner with her on campus "to get to know her better" she agrees and we meet up. I understand that dinner on campus doesn't equate to a date and I still assume that she thinks that same.

    I game her full on during the meeting. the cube, the questions game, and I did use Ross Jeffries Fascination (low belief in oneself I guess). She seems quite receptive, never really preens her hair, but her questions and actions give away her attraction.

    I even end up the questions game with "would you like a kiss?.", she thinks about it and asks "Now?" but since we were in a student cafeteria where she knew a lot of people she declined.

    Regardless attraction was on and my friend arranged for her to be my mentee in a group we're in. He dhv'd to the max. I asked her on several occassions to meet up for the mentee thing she agreed but it never ended up happening, she legitimately had something to do which I verified and I didn't show up another time. W/e, in the end, it seems like she hates me/lost interest in me...As she would talk to me before and now doesn't bother initiating conversations. Perhaps I didn't make my intentions clear...

    This is what I want to avoid in the future, if it was I who made her think I'm interested in her to generate animosity for not fulfilling her expectations. I want to avoid that.

    2) I had lunch with an HB and it was 100% on. But this girl was looking for a marriage partner not a "shag" and to be honest I just asked her out for lunch since we're from the same country and there are not so many of us in our university. Just as a social thing.

    She thought that I was asking her out for a date in our instant messenger conversation. I laughed straight out. I thought she'd gotten the point, I thought that concept for me dating her was a joke.

    But today during our lunch she said "The reason you asked me out probably means I've passed your test?". This was after she asked me what my criterions were for an ideal partner for the questions game.

    I didn't know what to say, didn't want to disappoint her but I was genuinely meeting up with her to have a chat not to get her in a relationship etc., and , and used the questions game as an ice-breaker. I took up a pissy demeanor and didn't try to be a dancing monkey but rather looked at her as someone of significantly less value than me. (Bad I know, but I don't like to look at someone with higher value than me anyhow).

    How would it be best to manage these expectations as I have a "date" with another girl this Saturday? She's ok looking, nothing to bring home, her personality is ok and I am going to K-close 100%. She's definitely attracted towards me but I'm not so sure when all of a sudden attraction is inevitable one becomes more and more reluctant to get into a relationship. I don't need her, I want her body. But deep down I love women and don't want to hurt anyone. Albeit at the same time I don't want to stop gaming and growing.

    Comments and feedback appreciated.

  2. #2
    Raven Guest

    Default Re: Managing Expectations: Prevention is better than cure

    I think at some point, if you don't want to hurt anyone, you need to cut some girls lose from your agenda. Saying no to a girl because she does not want what you want can be as maturing a learning experience as F closing her or anything else. I've "no'd" two girls lately and it felt quite good to be on the right end of it. Plus, the quicker you cut out the ones who have different expectations the more time you've freed up to sarge ones who have the same or similar.

  3. #3
    Toothpick is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Managing Expectations: Prevention is better than cure

    I agree with Raven 100%, cause Ive done the exact opposite and went out with a girl who was looking for something more than I was. I F-closed eventually, but I spent more time arguing with her about our "relationship" and how " You just want sex!" when all that could have been avoided by me declining to go out with her in the first place, cause I knew from the get-go that she was looking for a relationship. Lesson learned bro. lol Now I just keep in mind that there are always other hot girls out there that are looking for what im looking for, and i try to avoid the "Oneitis" Mystery talks about where I get stuck on one girl because she looks good. Hope this helps man. - Toothpick


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