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  1. #1
    RokStarz Guest

    Default Looking Withdrawn in Social Situations?

    When I am in social situations I have the tendency to freeze up and go quiet, and according to some people I look/seem withdrawn (like am thinking elsewhere). I must admit that when im in these social situations I focus on the myself (i.e. Whether I look ok, what are people thinking of me, do I look withdrawn now, are they noticing how quiet I am etc) probably the reason why I look withdrawn as I dont focus on, what the people are saying to me or anything, am focusing on what i should say to people and how I am being percieved by them.

    Another reason I stay quiet is because when I do try to socialise my voice goes very quiet, people sometimes struggle to hear what I say because of it which makes it a bit difficult to build good rapport and also puts me off trying to make conversation with people.

    This makes me realise, that this is a major whole in my game, as HB's and friends alike will just percieve you as weak/weirdo or as one of the sisters of a HB i met said "your a nice guy, but your too quiet and you look withdrawn - I told my sister I think your no good for her" and "your a nice guy but there's something I dont like about you - your too withdrawn its like your thinking elsewhere". These comments are so debilitating and becoming too much of an often thing, I need to get over this and would appreciate some advice or recommendations to do so?

    Is there any way you can shape your voice so you can still project it loudly and confident enough for people to hear? How can I stop feeling or looking withdrawn in these social situations?

  2. #2
    Jonthewildkatt's Avatar
    Jonthewildkatt is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Looking Withdrawn in Social Situations?

    Start not giving a truck. Going out by yourself is the fastest road to being socially confident. Make it a point to go to events/concerts/partys etc. by your self and practice practice practice. To keep the pressure off yourself just focus on this mantra: I'am care free and have freedom of outcome. Don't think. Go off your natural instincts to talk with those people who are interesting. If your in a relaxed state you will be more open to approching. If I were you I would start off approching sets purposely just to get used to it. Start with becomeing comfortable with just opening.

  3. #3
    legatron is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Looking Withdrawn in Social Situations?

    It happens to the best of us my friend. What I've done and seen is that if we always bring a good friend with us this situation may be avoided. That way you always have someone to talk to and be involved. It's especially helpful if this friend is social. You can talk to them and as you get more comfortable you can venture out. Once you step into a place you don't have to start picking up right away. Catch up with your friend and just have fun and people will see that increasing your social value. Good luck!


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