I was recently asked a question about the superiority or inferiority of various pickup methods and their associated trade-offs. The resulting discussion-come-article ended up being fairly interesting so I offer it to you for your delectation (but don't eat it).
Im interested in whats your opinion on concepts circulating on RSD . What do you honestly think about them? Is this game almost all about your state/confidence/how you feel? Me personaly have a hard time believeing it, but at the same time, the times I have done best is when Im "on", AKA not looking for any validation at ALL, not validation for me or my pickup skills, but when I just dont care, girls will check me out more, and girls will be more receptive when I approach and it just feels like they are more attracted.
The problem I have is tuning in to this great state every night out and I feel very inconcisent with it, but I can recognize when I have it and when I do, I think "oh man, why cant I be like this ALL THE TIME, If I was, I would be unstoppable!"
Is the social intelligence and looks and all that stuff even minor important? Or is most of this game just about feeling good/entitled? Because I can also recognize this in some buddies that I have, that have never ever read any PUA book, they break exactly all the rules all the time, but they are supremely confident, and they hook up with new girls every week and also have girls approaching them.
Soooo, just interesting in your opinion in studying the RSD concepts for becoming good at it, or mixing it with love systems tactics or something - if you, as a LS instructor can give your honest opinion that is, I understand if it can be hard when hired from another company.
In a nutshell
'Absorb what is useful, reject what is useless, add what is essentially your own' - Bruce Lee
That's it. Just use common sense and take what you need and ignore what you don't need. As my mother used to say...
'If you don't like the broccoli, just leave it on the side of your plate.' - my mother
I like to play music. When I was studying, there were many debates about 'technique' versus 'feeling'. The idea was that some players had such raw feeling in their playing that, even though they may have been technically deficient, they really said something when they played and conveyed a real soul /authenticity/feeling. Other musicians, it was said, had loads of technique but no feeling - these guys could play anything but always seemed to end up saying nothing. They were just going through the motions of making music with no emotional content.
This debate would usually be particularly heated around the time of our technical exams, when everyone was forced to learn countless scales and technical exercises to high speeds for the tests. 'Why do we have to learn all this technical sh1t?' people would exclaim, 'I want to be like X-guitarist, he just plays with such feel! He doesn't know his jazz scales, why should I have to learn them?'
Let's go with another analogy: human speech. There are some people who have very poor grammar and vocabulary but have such passion and fire in what they want to express that they can communicate very powerfully. But they are limited by their lack of education and language skills. There are others who have much education and learning but have very little to say...when they talk it's all big words and no substance.
Correlation not Causation
It is, in my opinion, a case or correlation not causation. Whether or not you're smart has no bearing on whether or not you have something to say. There are great guitarists with high technical facility and great guitarists with low technical facility...their level of technique is not related to the value of their artistic contribution.
- You can be articulate but have nothing worth saying.
- You can be inarticulate and have nothing worth saying.
- You can be articulate and have something worth saying.
- You can be inarticulate and have something worth saying.
So what to do?
I would suggest that if you have something to say, becoming more articulate can only increase the effectiveness with which you communicate it.
If you have nothing to say, then perhaps in the pursuit of education, knowledge and technique you may discover a voice within you.
To eschew learning and growth is to atrophy. Move forward and improve.
Bringing it Back to LS vs RSD
It's the old technique vs feeling debate again.
The LS-man could be caricatured as the social robot - all technique, routines and lines with no real personality. He's just a clone of his instructor and has no real personality. He fills his head with imaginary chess games and imposes an overly strategic view of social interaction onto the world. He's too busy waiting 7 hours, DHVing and negging to get laid.
The RSD -man could be caricatured as the socially deluded man - all 'woowoo', 'state' and self belief. He's in his own reality, feels great but has no social sensitivity. He alienates those around him in the name of self-amusement and expressing his masculine core. When he actually has a girl in front of him, he doesn't know what to say or what to do...he lacks the social tools to actually have a conversation, escalate sexually and get laid.
Yes, these caricatures are sadly accurate if the student has weak personal boundaries , a weak sense of self etc...if he has 'nothing to say' he just copies whichever person he thinks is coolest and never quite gets the right idea. But this is the sort of buffoon defies the term 'idiot proof' and can take any perfectly good idea and manage to break it. On some days, we are all that buffoon.
I'd suggest that, taken to the extreme, any method would be seen as counter-ideal. But if the student has a strong sense of self, strong personal boundaries and doesn't abandon his common sense to the winds...well, he can learn from anybody - even if it's just a lesson in what not to do. On our best days, we can all be such a student.
Sometimes the best thing you can do for your love life is forget about the pickup stuff for a while and enjoy other areas of life.
There are many different methods out there, and we each need to take something different from the one we choose. For some, all we need is an opener and a transition and the rest is easy. For others, opening is no problem but we need to learn how to have interesting conversations. Others need to learn how to sexualise. Others need to learn how to stop being needy and chasing women. Others need to learn how to...you get the idea.
Take what you need to help you towards your goals and leave the Fantasy Pick-Up League to the keyboard jockeys (who would win in a pick-up match between X and Y?!...who cares?!).