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Thread: How to Destroy Approach Anxiety

  1. #11
    MavenPhaseshift is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to Destroy Approach Anxiety

    I have always liked this tatic. It is a great one. Thank you for posting it. Acceptance is always a great way to start the process of lessing the fear or anxiety.

    Maven

  2. #12
    mafia980 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to Destroy Approach Anxiety

    **** 5 Star's for this posts , i guess ! this will work for me

  3. #13
    Kassimnova Gable is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to Destroy Approach Anxiety

    Quote Originally Posted by Tango90 View Post
    Awesome, man. Props on that, it looks really helpful.

    Today, I tried to cold approach girls in the street - I don't know if you know Svengali's challenge, basically it's saying "hi" to every woman you see at a mall, for instance. I failed, and I saw every woman passing by, I was paralyzed! But I tried not to worry about it. Reading things like this help me a lot to learn to relax and to enhance my inner game.

    I actually suffered from social anxiety desorder (SAD) for about 3 years and I'm fighting it. I used to hyperventilate and feel paranoid about people in college, and I was unable to talk to them. A lot has changed so far, I have friends and I'm starting to throw parties and go out. This is another challenge in my life, but I know I'll go through.

    Peace out,

    - Tango

    Dude I hear you there, I also had slight Social Anxiety, I just look at it as, "I`m one person out of a million" people seem to be wrapped up in there own personal affairs, that when your out approaching, that does`nt t even come into play.

    It still is tough for me getting through Social Anxiety, maybe if you had a few tricks or inner game techniques to share, that would be awesome.

    Kindest Regards

    GABLE

  4. #14
    Biggerfish is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to Destroy Approach Anxiety

    I used to suffer from Severe aa. I mean, like I would bolt at the thought of talking to a hot girl.

    My friend, (biggest natural I've ever met. to this day, when stuck texting I ask myself "what would Clayton say?") took me aside and asked me point blank what I was afraid of. I didn't really have an answer besides "she won't like me"

    He could only laugh at me at first before he realized I was serious.

    His advice? "If she doesn't like you, then she doesn't like you. But of the 100 girls here, at least one will sleep with you, how are you going to find her without talking to people?"

  5. #15
    bobat6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to Destroy Approach Anxiety

    i had this aswell :P.. not anymore.. i challenged my friend to a competition, the most times we approach in an hour.. the loser gets to buy a whole bottle of vodka for the winner xD..

  6. #16
    rangel_angel54 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to Destroy Approach Anxiety

    Thank you dabruh!! i tried your balloon tactic on the 1st girl i saw this morning on the way to class and did it work! I'm getting out of a relationship ive been in more than a year. In other words right now my game sucks hahaha. Towards the end of the relationship I was not feeling it and frankly stuck around because I didn't want to be lonely afraid i would never be with another pretty girl >>>insecurity issues im working on as well as aa.

    So I park my car and walk towards class. I notice this girl who has a pretty nice body walking on the side of street opposite to me. Eventually the street dead ends and I have to cross to her side. So as I cross to her side instantly all the information I remember from the site appears in my head. Basically it was approach her for practice or yet again let the opportunity pass like an AFC. I feel incredibly anxious as I prolong my thoughts so what sticks in my head? - Dabruh's balloon tactic. I use the steps in my head and boom my anxiety is reduced substantially! I catch up to her take a good look at her face and notice she was definitely no solid HB but she was decent. I compliment how her shoes match her bag and she responds positively. Have a good conversation, could improve on carrying conversation with girls, but it worked. Number closed! and went to the library to study!

  7. #17
    mfdoom is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to Destroy Approach Anxiety

    Actually, this seems like a very good way of eliminating aa, thanks will give it a shot

  8. #18
    JohnnyCali is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to Destroy Approach Anxiety

    When I started out I had Approach Anxiety bad.. hell, I was a shy over-analytical person in general. I haven't "cured" my approach anxiety by any means, but I've found ways to bypass it. I counted for a few months, and I think I average about 50 opens per week. Nothing special, but in high school I probably averaged 10 a year - no bullsh1t.

    Although I still fear the approach just as much as day one, I've done it over and over and over SO MANY TIMES that I've gotten extremely good at opening without displaying any nervous qualities, and have the mindset that the set WILL OPEN when I approach (and once you do a good 300, they WILL).

    That's all fine and dandy, but for someone not at that point, what can you do NOW to open confidently? Here's a few "tricks" that can help you bypass your fear:

    Mystery's teaching of "open the first set to your left" works really well. Yes, you may be scared out of your mind, but once you get past that initial open, your fear will decrease by half. Wear a cool shirt and walk in, and IMMEDIATELY ask the FIRST group on your left (or right - it really doesn't matter) "first impression of the shirt?" Your goal is not to get these girls.. the goal is to open. After their response, ask one more question. After they answer, eject. And immediately open the next group you see. Keep doing this, and try to push a little further each time until you get to a group with a girl that is giving you lots of IOIs (study these, as well as female body language.. it's EVERYWHERE on the internet for free, and knowing this like the back of your palm will help tenfold). Get as far as you can with her, and if it stales out, keep moving on. I promise by the third or fourth set you won't even be paying attention to the open, you'll be thinking more of where to lead the interaction - which is where you want to be.

    For that, have a good three openers MEMORIZED, that don't convey interest. You can find a hundred of them on the internet, for free.

    During the day, you can go to the downtown shopping district, farmers market, or mall, and do your best to get eye contact with every hot girl you see. When you do, smile. If she smiles back, say "hi". That's it. If they are smiling they'll say "hi" back 100% of the time. Not solid game, but it gets a great positive feedback loop going in your mind, and can really boost your confidence and self-esteem if its not that great.

    You could try going into the club and going up to a ridiculously hot girl you would NEVER have had the balls to approach and say "it's my girlfriend's birthday on Monday, and I haven't gotten her a present yet. She's very fashionable like you, and loves nice accessories.. what do YOU think I should get her?" she'll talk blah blah blah, then you thank her. KINO by placing your hand on her shoulder briefly while thanking her, then turn off and approach a nearby set. You have basically zero chance of success with the initial girl, but this does two very cool things; one, your social proof is pumped beyond belief because everyone nearby saw you successfully open the hottest woman in the club. They have no idea what you guys talked about, but they saw her smiling, being receptive to your kino, and must figure if you have value for HER, you must have value for THEM too! And two, since you just approached a 10, approaching 8's and 9's will be much easier.

    If you're a smoker, "do you have a lighter I could use?" delivered with a smile has worked wonders for me. Some disagree with me on that opener, but it's a very non-threatening open, and if you can quickly stack-forward with something situational you can get a good conversation started from there. Tease her if the lighter matches her shirt. Tease her if the lighter is pink. Your conversation will most likely only last for the length of the smoke, but you can Number Close there, try to move her back in the club to continue talking/dance, or re-open her later now that you have already interacted. I've farked women with that opener. Usually not that night, but it's pretty solid for numbers.

    My recent best opener: tell a girl "my friend just got promoted and wants to take a trip to celebrate.. he's debating between Miami or Los Angeles.. where would YOU go?" I variate it a lot, but it opens every time, EVERY time. And when they answer, ask them why. Then stack forward.

    Hope some of that was helpful. I'm waiting for my laundry to be done and I'm rambling.. I think I'm gonna go walk across the street and open some women at the 24-hour market.. wish me luck!

    -Johnny

    Learn a ton of openers, and then make your goal to go practice them until they are like second nature to you. I promise you if you do that, you will be opening with ease in 2-3months. I'm still scared as hell to open a ten, but I've done it enough times that she'll never know

  9. #19
    JohnnyCali is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to Destroy Approach Anxiety

    Quote Originally Posted by bobat6 View Post
    i had this aswell :P.. not anymore.. i challenged my friend to a competition, the most times we approach in an hour.. the loser gets to buy a whole bottle of vodka for the winner xD..
    I've done that before! It's great until you really hook the second girl you open, talk for three hours then bounce her back home. Your friend gets blown out by 10 sets.. and you still gotta buy him vodka

  10. #20
    jhardy is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to Destroy Approach Anxiety

    Simple technique easy to follow....let me try out tomorrow


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