I am looking at this forum, and there is some real good advice on it. But actually a lot of behaviours by a Pick Up Artist, are for some men hard to learn. They go to a process of failure and achievement. Sometimes they learn that actually their own personality wasn't that bad after all. They actually learn that it’s OK to not be perfect. Because a perfect human isn’t perfect.
So for example, my English won’t be perfect, because I am Dutch. Nothing wrong with that, I will do my best. If you don’t understand my English, you can always ask me. I tell you what I mean.
So don’t get me wrong, I am not saying the things you learn here are wrong. But I think some men are giving up, because they feel the change they have to make. That change is just too hard for them. They are good men, but not everybody got what it takes to make this change. Some men say, “this is not me” Of course that’s also an excuse. Only is there another way, so they just can be mostly themselves?
For me the biggest attraction factor for a woman in a man is selfconfidence. But how you can achieve this by lying about where you are right now? By lying to yourself and to other people? You can get very nervous by “fake it until you made it”.
In my opinion you loose your biggest attraction switch. And even if you made it, you start feeling women are liking another person. It's not you as a person she likes, it's the persona you've created. After a while that starts to piss you off deeply. Sometimes it will even let you sink in a really deep depression. And did you not start this Pick up thing, to live a better live?
Is there a way for men to go a bit more natural from the start? That’s what I preach and teach.
So there it goes
I am making this post especially for virgins. Men who aren’t virgins can certainly use certain aspects of this post too.
I think you got to divide the young virgins from the old ones. This time I don’t get into the old ones. If you are in your thirties, and you're still a virgin. At first you could best take a bootcamp. You probably got the money for it, because you don’t got the wife and everything. I think when you are at that age, you need a big brainwash.
Anyway - as one of the self proclaimed MPUA's of the Benelux – and the organisor of the Real Man Conference, I should be able to figure something out for these young virgins
First things first.
Honesty about your virginity to yourself and to others.
As a virgin you might have said? “of course I already did it” Actually you did not, but else you thought you looked stupid.
Let’s stop with that immediately. From now on you are honest. In this way you feel much more secure. And in this way you will act more secure. More important your first time will be much better. You don’t have to be really nervous. The woman who you will loose your virginity to, will take into account that you are a virgin. This actually will provide you with some free sex lessons (NathanX or Alex May eat you heart out). This will be of so much use to you for the rest of your life.
A lot of men have missed these wise sex lessons. From day 1 these men are already far behind you. You will be the man who listens. By that you get very useful information to love a woman in the right way. Other men yust do something. They never heared a complaint so…NO because a woman will just walk away from them.
If from the start you start communicating with the woman of your choice, you will have so much more fun in the present and in the future. And let’s not forget who else….the women.
A very excited woman will give so you much more fun. This in comparison to a woman who says it was “OK”.
Your honesty and the security it will provide you, is a very important part of this method.
You start with honesty to yourself. Often you know yourself, what’s your problem.
Problem number 1
Number 1 is: not many women are hanging around you.
As a MPUA (I am now happily married) I was talking to females for more than an hour a day. If you get to 10 minutes in one week, there is the problem staring right at you.
Solution number 1
How to solve this? Do anything what will gets you into contact with many women. Join yogaclasses, danceclasses, a sidejob with gets you to meet many woman etc. In the Netherland we say 'The opportunity makes the thief'. So let the opportunity make you a real man. If you don’t have the time. Loose the TV, loose the internetaddiction, pokernights, what ever else it takes to get you more women in your life.
Change your life not yourself
So you will have to change your life. Not yourself, your life. You understand, if you go on with the 10 minutes, you will be staying a virgin. If you don’t like that, you will have to change your life, to get more opportunities to meet and talk to woman. That’s a fact. You can’t get around that. When you change your life, you don’t do this secretively. No again you are honest about it, to your friends, to your family, to your loved ones. Forget the other ones for now. People who love you will support you, if they see you really want something and you are honest about it to them.
How to explain to loved 1's
“Look, I never had sex with a woman. I am not gay, I actually would like to have sex with a woman. I am a healthy guy, everything works with me, and it’s totally normal that I want sex with a woman. At this moment I yust can’t meet a lot of woman who are attractive enough for me. I would like to enhance the change of meeting a nice woman. In this way my first time would be faboulous. So I am looking for a nice woman. It would be nice if this could evolve into a relationship, but we will see. Maybe first there is a friendship, maybe we fall in love, and my first time will come naturally. It can also be a woman in their thirties. A woman I think is nice, and who gets excited to show me the ropes. I don’t want to wait if something comes along. I want to have my share of happiness, and share this happiness together with a woman I like. I want to enhance the chance for a woman to meet a great guy like myself.”
This mindset is again also a very important part of the method. Don’t hide yourself in the corner, or even defend yourself. It is normal that you like to have sex as a healthy young man. The hormones are travelling at lightspeed through your body. Denying this is foolish. It is also very transparent for everyone around you. They will see right through you. They won’t respect you. You won’t respect yourself. But if your honest about it and actually talk about it, then you will receive much respect of the people around you. This will enhance your selfconfidence and your selfrespect. A lot of people have experienced the same thing. Me, myself and I too.
Horrible first time
I was the boy who said that “I already done it”. But I didn’t. In that way my first time was horrible. It could have been much nicer. She was a virgin too, and we could have shared a very romantic (and clumsy) moment together. I was just as nervous as her. I know, this is not a very exceptional story. So many men did the same stupid thing. So actually they loose a lot of their confidence in themselves - but more - they loose the respect of the people around them. Something you can’t use as a men who wants to have sex for the first time with a nice woman.
Let’s say number 1 is solved now. If you meet a lot of woman, and starts hanging out with them, you will get into conversations with these woman. This is even if you have no or little gameknowledge. Now you show that you are honest, by telling her you are a virgin. Isn’t this needy behaviour? In a way you do. Although in my opinion it’s the same as going to the toilet. You say “I should go to the toilet” Is this needy? Of course, but everyone goes to the toilet. Nobody will be surprised by that.
Getting the convo going
But how you should slip this into a conversation?
Lets suppose you are talking to a woman.
Direct this conversation to relationships.
How should you do this?
By my favourite question: "what’s the most romantic thing you have ever done for a man?”
This will make the woman a little bit nervous. Most women aren’t that romantic themselves. They think they are, but when you put them on the spot…..So let them be nervous, and by knowing this, you will be a little less nervous.
Women are very predictable. They will probably will come with the counterquestion “what’s the most romantic thing you have ever done for a woman”
Tell the truth again, but also tell her “it has never been really romantic, because I never had a long relationship with a woman. I even never had sex. So I can’t say much about that.
Most guys around me all say they already done it. So for many women it is probably not so romantic to start a relationship with someone like me."
Oh. Oh, they really, really, really are going to explain to you - and will go out of their way for you - to explain that that isn’t the case.
“Oh no, it would be so romantic if a man would be a virgin, and his first time would be with me”
At this moment, you will laugh in yourself. A big grin will appear in your head.
Because at this moment you understand it’s all chess. This is your opening, and you know this opening by heart. This will get some of the spike off your nervous endings
Probably the woman you go into this conversation with for the first time, won’t be the woman who you going to have sex with for the first time. You maybe can even count on this. So you should relax a litte bit more. Still all practice baby!
Still we are having a conversation. A conversation what is actually getting somewhere.
Getting the Kino going, while talking about sex
To stay out off the friendszone, we we will engage kino (touching her).
We look the woman right in the eye, and we lay our hand on her knee or her hand and we will say
“Thank you, that’s is nice of you. Silence for a bit. Further on.
I presume you already done it, can I ask you a personal question about that?
You always can.
How was your first time?“
Get her to really talk about it. Woman love to talk, it isn’t so hard to get her to talk. Ask questions like “how did she know him, how did they get it on, how long she knew him, how old was she, did she like the first time (often she didn’t), if she would look back, does she has a good feeling about it?” etc. A lot of questions about her feelings. Your job will be to listen to her, and nod that you understand. Sometimes you lay your hand on her hand, as to support the conversation.
So we are really getting it on now. We are talking with a woman about sex. If nothing works now, you will actually get a glimpse of a womans feelings. So you will always learn from this conversation.
So nice story, talk further and start with your romantic vision.
Say last night you were laying in bed. “and no this wasn’t a wet dream you dirty woman” (sometimes a bit of humour is never wrong), and that you have dreamt about the most romantic thing ever. “It was quite vivid, so I don’t know if I can tell you this”
You will always have to tell.
You are actually lying now, but you are telling a dream. Do you remember your dreams? You do? Last night will provide you with a romantic dream, if you are young man and a virgin. The subconscious can always be count on in these matters! If not, you can go with my example. Women are like apes with a computer on top. We have to find a way to disconnect the computer. Talking about romantic dreams, together with time (comfort), and kino, can just do the trick for you.
For example, the dream can be with an attractive female safari guide. There was a strong attraction field between you from the start.
You then ask a question to your woman “Do you have experienced this yourself before?”
Point at yourself or tap on your chest if your doing this (look up Ross Jeffries, or go to his seminar in Amsterdam March 26. 2011 at the Akhnaton, if you want to know what you are actually doing now)
And you were walking together hand in hand with a half moon (typical details always do well in stories, in this way she will really believe you have dreamt this, a full moon is so common) the attraction was too high, and you both start pulling off clothes from eachother. Oh, and then suddenly the savanne was on fire. Only the sex was so good, the fire came nearer and nearer, meanwhile wild beasts where jumping over you. So you were lost in the excitement, you want to finish what you started, it was getting hotter, and hotter and then….you woke up (bathing in sweat), so you don’t know if you have escaped from the fire.
“But you know what was the strangest thing? I actually had a burn mark on my pj’s when I woke up?”
“Ok, no, but it still was a nice dream”
She will probably laugh and punch you or something, and you actually did a strong thing.
Mix excitement with fun, now you pulled a very strong attraction switch.
This kind of stories will certainly get her excited.
Certainly if you will start again with “Do you have these kind of dreams?”
Yes, you can ask everything now. You have been honest about your feeling, she will be honest about hers. And actually these feelings are very much towards ending your virginity.
Getting her to your home
You are now deep in the comfortzone. Take her hand, and caress her hand, as she telling her story. We talk more about this in our book Selfconfidence with woman (it’s only in Dutch so don’t bother, we have 1 about Internetdating from the Dating Doctors in English and in German actually)
Now after this story, it will be time to harvest. This if she didn’t took her hand away.
“Say, I really can talk so well with you. I feel in a funny way so at ease with you. Do you have the same thing (yes). I want to kiss you, but I don’t want to do this here. Let’s go away to my home (or your home)
If she agrees, this will be al most certainly the end of your virginity.
I wish you and your woman a lot of fun.
If she won’t agrees, don’t fark yourself up about it. Laugh about yourself. Say “I can always ask. I like you anyway, but apparently you don’t like me enough. This can happen of course, although I think it’s a pity. I am a man, who doesn’t stay crying about it. So I want to ask you if you can help me.
They all want to help you.
I want you to give me a telephonenumber of a good bachelor female friend. You also put in a good word for me. I don’t ask for more.
After some fondling around they all want to make you and their friends happy.
So the same routine. There will always be one. Probably the first.
Be social, let people help you
Besides that, everyone knows of your search, and they want to help you as the nice fellow you are ("chance is that you are too nice, and that’s one of the reasons you are a virgin”). The nice fellow who helps other people, so they want to help you too. Certainly if you ask for it. Certainly if you tell other people about your own insecurities. Now people will think “Look that’s a nice fellow, maybe my niece can be something for him”. You should stimulate that.
Maybe you were more a giver than a taker in the past. With this routine you will get more balance in your life. It is not wrong to give. It also not wrong to take a little. You know for a fact, that giving gives you more joy than taking. Now you won’t ever let people give you anything. So other people feel bad about themselves. They don’t have the fun of giving something to you, because you never take something back! Be social for once, and take somewhat back.
You give other people a better feeling about themselves!
You have to do this
Of course it is like always; you have to do all this. Have a lot of contact with women, get into this conversation with a woman, take her hand, invite her to your home.
If you don’t do this, you will have to give yourself a hand for ever.