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  1. #1
    SeekingSatisfaction is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default how many approaches before looking desperate

    Question:

    After asking this I'll probably stumble across it somewhere in the course of my readings and feel stupid but oh well...

    I figure the only way to get good at this is practice, practice, practice. Take every opportunity to apply what you're learning.

    But I'm forced to wonder, how many approaches can you make in one night in one place before you start to look a little desperate (I still fail most of the time).

    At a certain point I feel like I just can't hide it anymore, it's demoralizing to get shot down repeatedly.

    Obviously I quit then, but I feel like I'm starting to be able to go a while before this starts getting to me, so is there some rule I should follow about how many women to approach in one place in one night?

  2. #2
    JonTylerDiPrince is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: how many approaches before looking desperate

    No rule. Approach them all if you want, but slow down if you feel like approaching the same number of women every night isn't getting you anywhere (i.e. you're on a plateau).

    You're likely missing a valuable learning step somewhere earlier in your process. If you're stuck, don't focus so much on having a desirable "attraction/sexual" outcome, and just focus on having fun and meeting new people. In other words, go into your interactions specifically with the purpose of just meeting people.

    I think this ought to make the experience more rewarding and comfortable for you, after which you'll be able to find how to integrate a little more technique into your unique personality... and transcend the plateau.

  3. #3
    SeekingSatisfaction is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: how many approaches before looking desperate

    Eloquently worded advice.

    Thank you for your take on that situation.

  4. #4
    prettyboy6 Guest

    Default Re: how many approaches before looking desperate

    Quote Originally Posted by SeekingSatisfaction View Post
    Eloquently worded advice.

    Thank you for your take on that situation.
    yeah me too.

  5. #5
    jdeman Guest

    Default Re: how many approaches before looking desperate

    Quote Originally Posted by JonTylerDiPrince View Post
    No rule. Approach them all if you want, but slow down if you feel like approaching the same number of women every night isn't getting you anywhere (i.e. you're on a plateau).

    You're likely missing a valuable learning step somewhere earlier in your process. If you're stuck, don't focus so much on having a desirable "attraction/sexual" outcome, and just focus on having fun and meeting new people. In other words, go into your interactions specifically with the purpose of just meeting people.

    I think this ought to make the experience more rewarding and comfortable for you, after which you'll be able to find how to integrate a little more technique into your unique personality... and transcend the plateau.

    very interesting, hehe

  6. #6
    SummaFelix Guest

    Default Re: how many approaches before looking desperate

    You question is a little vague.

    Are you talking about (1) the same girl, or (2) in general?

    If you're talking about the same girl, then (1) is the max. After all, what kind of an example would you be setting if you would approach again after being shot down once? ("it's okay for me to shoot him down, because he'll just come running right back; I haven't lost anything") vs. ("I better not wrongfully shoot this guy down, because once he's gone, he's never coming back").

    If you're talking about in general, my rule is one girl per place. If a guy is on the bus, and he hits on one girl on that bus, it's okay. It's okay, because no matter what happens, the world is on his side. Everyone around him knows (both men and women) just how hard it is to start talking to a complete stranger you're interested in. So it doesn't matter if he succeeds or fails; to the rest of the world around him, the guy is a success; the failure is the guy who stays quiet and doesn't do anything.

    However, as soon as that same guy hits on a second girl in the same bus, the world's sympathy turns to laughter, spite, and disgust. Now, this guy turns into this desperate dog, begging for attention and a piece of meat.

    So, just limit it to one time per place.

  7. #7
    Sitfab's Avatar
    Sitfab is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: how many approaches before looking desperate

    I usually limit myself for 3-4 in the same place, but that depends. If it's a small gathering, one if I didn't drank significantly or 2 if I drank signnificantly ( not drunk out of my mind ). If it's a bar or an Irish pub, 3 max. If it's a club or anywhere where loud music is played, I don't approach, I get approached.

  8. #8
    SeekingSatisfaction is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: how many approaches before looking desperate

    I was talking about in general.

    If you're talking about in general, my rule is one girl per place. If a guy is on the bus, and he hits on one girl on that bus, it's okay. It's okay, because no matter what happens, the world is on his side. Everyone around him knows (both men and women) just how hard it is to start talking to a complete stranger you're interested in. So it doesn't matter if he succeeds or fails; to the rest of the world around him, the guy is a success; the failure is the guy who stays quiet and doesn't do anything.

    However, as soon as that same guy hits on a second girl in the same bus, the world's sympathy turns to laughter, spite, and disgust. Now, this guy turns into this desperate dog, begging for attention and a piece of meat.
    This is exactly the answer I needed.

  9. #9
    Morrisb is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: how many approaches before looking desperate

    I did 3 or 4. Well 3 that I actually tried. The other one I got talking but changed my mind.

    I figured the first one would get me over it. I felt nervous everytime. lol

  10. #10
    JonTylerDiPrince is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: how many approaches before looking desperate

    Quote Originally Posted by Morrisb View Post
    I did 3 or 4. Well 3 that I actually tried. The other one I got talking but changed my mind.

    I figured the first one would get me over it. I felt nervous everytime. lol

    Bill, ban/delete this clown. All his posts are non-sensical gibberish. Appears to be spam.


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